Read Online Sorority Girls With Guns by Cat Caruthers - Free Book Online
Authors: Cat Caruthers
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for the waiter. "We're all ready to order, right?"
"But that won't help me," Morgan says, frowning at Tiffany. "That would help someone who was permanently poor and needed money, maybe. But I would still be humiliated. My parents might find out. What if I can't get into medical school because of that stupid video?"
The waitress, whose nametag says Claire, arrives then. She's tall and blonde and wouldn't be bad looking with $500 worth of clothes and makeup. "What can I get you?" She brandishes a paper notebook and one of those cheap pens - you know, the kind that never write when you pick them up. Or at least that's how they used to be back when I still did any writing with a pen. You know, back in the third grade.
Charlie, who's closest to the waitress, orders first. "I'll have the $3 special. Can I get extra fries?"
Claire scribbles in her notebook, not looking up. "Sure. That'll be fifty cents extra."
"I gotta pay extra?"
"If you want extra fries, yes, they make us charge extra." Claire finally looks up from the notebook. "You want 'em or not?"
"It's just fifty cents," Matt says.
"Oh, okay," Charlie grumbles. "But how about if you just put a couple extra on my plate? I mean, exactly how many fries come with the number three, anyway?"
I have the sudden urge to hide under the table.
"One scoop," Claire says, turning her gaze to Matt. "And for you?"
"So two or three fries wouldn't make any difference," Charlie continued. "I mean, if you just use a scoop and don't count them, some people probably get a couple more fries than others anyway. How do I know I'm even getting all the fries I'm paying for in the first place?"
"Dude, let it go," Richard grumbles. I'm shocked - Richard is usually the one nickel-and-diming and bitching and moaning about cost.
Claire sighs. "Okay, I will make sure you get a full scoop. And I'll throw five extra fries in for free. I won't charge you extra unless you want two scoops. Will that work?"
"I guess so," Charlie concedes, finally surrendering his menu to Claire. "But I will be counting my fries, and all my friends' fries."
"Dude. You are not counting my fries," Matt says, looking at Charlie as if he just announced he was taking a vow of celibacy. "I am starting to eat them the second they get here. I'll have the number three also," he adds to Claire.
"You're definitely not fondling my fries. That's just gross." Tiffany wrinkles her nose. "How do we even know your hands are clean?"
Richard is snickering so much he can barely speak to order his food. The guy is enjoying this shit way too much. "I'll have the number two," he finally manages. "And I'll have extra fries. No, make that extra everything."
He has a lot to learn about being rich if his biggest splurge is extra fries.
Tiffany and Morgan both order salads, like me. "Can I get mine without onions?" I ask. There's only one vegetable in the world that I absolutely can't stand, and it's onion.
"Sure," Claire says, looking happy to be almost done with out orders.
"So do I get a discount?" I ask as she turns to go.
"For what?" She stares at me blankly.
"Well, you're saving money on the onions. Why shouldn't I get a discount?" I ask. "I mean, your rationale for charging extra for extra fries is that the extra fries cost you more, right? So if I get less or none of something that normally comes with an item, I should get charged less."
"I don't make the prices," Claire says, shoving her pen over one year and clenching the notebook so tightly the spine starts to bend.
"Oh, I understand," I say. "Could I speak with the manager?"
Claire nods happily and leaves.
"You are not seriously going to demand a discount," Richard says, his dimples lost to a slack jaw.
"Why not?" I ask.
"Because it's ridiculous," Richard says.
"Can we get back to my problem?" Morgan asks. "What if I can't get into medical school because of Biff's stupid sex tape?"
"You'll be rich from the lawsuit. Why would you need to go to medical school?"
"But that won't help me," Morgan says, frowning at Tiffany. "That would help someone who was permanently poor and needed money, maybe. But I would still be humiliated. My parents might find out. What if I can't get into medical school because of that stupid video?"
The waitress, whose nametag says Claire, arrives then. She's tall and blonde and wouldn't be bad looking with $500 worth of clothes and makeup. "What can I get you?" She brandishes a paper notebook and one of those cheap pens - you know, the kind that never write when you pick them up. Or at least that's how they used to be back when I still did any writing with a pen. You know, back in the third grade.
Charlie, who's closest to the waitress, orders first. "I'll have the $3 special. Can I get extra fries?"
Claire scribbles in her notebook, not looking up. "Sure. That'll be fifty cents extra."
"I gotta pay extra?"
"If you want extra fries, yes, they make us charge extra." Claire finally looks up from the notebook. "You want 'em or not?"
"It's just fifty cents," Matt says.
"Oh, okay," Charlie grumbles. "But how about if you just put a couple extra on my plate? I mean, exactly how many fries come with the number three, anyway?"
I have the sudden urge to hide under the table.
"One scoop," Claire says, turning her gaze to Matt. "And for you?"
"So two or three fries wouldn't make any difference," Charlie continued. "I mean, if you just use a scoop and don't count them, some people probably get a couple more fries than others anyway. How do I know I'm even getting all the fries I'm paying for in the first place?"
"Dude, let it go," Richard grumbles. I'm shocked - Richard is usually the one nickel-and-diming and bitching and moaning about cost.
Claire sighs. "Okay, I will make sure you get a full scoop. And I'll throw five extra fries in for free. I won't charge you extra unless you want two scoops. Will that work?"
"I guess so," Charlie concedes, finally surrendering his menu to Claire. "But I will be counting my fries, and all my friends' fries."
"Dude. You are not counting my fries," Matt says, looking at Charlie as if he just announced he was taking a vow of celibacy. "I am starting to eat them the second they get here. I'll have the number three also," he adds to Claire.
"You're definitely not fondling my fries. That's just gross." Tiffany wrinkles her nose. "How do we even know your hands are clean?"
Richard is snickering so much he can barely speak to order his food. The guy is enjoying this shit way too much. "I'll have the number two," he finally manages. "And I'll have extra fries. No, make that extra everything."
He has a lot to learn about being rich if his biggest splurge is extra fries.
Tiffany and Morgan both order salads, like me. "Can I get mine without onions?" I ask. There's only one vegetable in the world that I absolutely can't stand, and it's onion.
"Sure," Claire says, looking happy to be almost done with out orders.
"So do I get a discount?" I ask as she turns to go.
"For what?" She stares at me blankly.
"Well, you're saving money on the onions. Why shouldn't I get a discount?" I ask. "I mean, your rationale for charging extra for extra fries is that the extra fries cost you more, right? So if I get less or none of something that normally comes with an item, I should get charged less."
"I don't make the prices," Claire says, shoving her pen over one year and clenching the notebook so tightly the spine starts to bend.
"Oh, I understand," I say. "Could I speak with the manager?"
Claire nods happily and leaves.
"You are not seriously going to demand a discount," Richard says, his dimples lost to a slack jaw.
"Why not?" I ask.
"Because it's ridiculous," Richard says.
"Can we get back to my problem?" Morgan asks. "What if I can't get into medical school because of Biff's stupid sex tape?"
"You'll be rich from the lawsuit. Why would you need to go to medical school?"
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