Something You Are

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Authors: Hanna Jameson
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the picture into quarters. ‘A café? Bar? Wherever you want.’
    She seemed reassured at the mention of a public meeting place and thought it over for a few seconds.
    â€˜Well, I’m out in Leicester Square later with some friends so… how about opposite the Häagen-Dazs place, you know that? I’m gonna be a couple of hours and I’ve got to be home by five… My mum, you know, since the… thing.’
    â€˜Sure, sure, that’s fine. I can be there round four?’
    â€˜Yeah, that should be OK.’
    I put the picture in my bag. ‘That’s great. I’ll be wearing a black jacket over a red shirt, so you can recognize me.’
    â€˜Right, OK.’
    â€˜Thanks, Jenny, you’re being a great help.’
    I put the mobile down and inspected my hands, dry and cracked with chemicals. It crossed my mind to call Edie Franco but I decided against it. Even though it felt like neglecting my other job, I didn’t want anything more to think about.

    I stood shivering in Leicester Square for ten minutes watching the crowds. A group of Hare Krishna monks passed me, in pale robes. I’d seen them many times before and they always looked so content. It must be nice to devote your life to something other than your own pointless survival, relieve yourself of the weight of self-doubt and life’s big questions.
    â€˜Er, Mr…?’
    I turned and found myself looking at a young girl dressed in a denim skirt and footless tights. Her hands were in the pockets of her coat, probably around a rape alarm of some kind.
    â€˜Yeah, hi, Jenny.’ I smiled. ‘I’m Nic. Do you want to walk?’
    I indicated my head and we began walking in the dying light.
    â€˜So you’re a private detective, right?’ Jenny looked me up and down with all the bravado of youth. ‘I thought you’d be taller.’
    â€˜Yeah well, we don’t all wear trench coats either.’
    â€˜And you’re not working with the police?’
    â€˜No, I don’t like to. I don’t really trust them, to be honest,’ I said with a roll of the eyes. ‘Neither does Pat, that’s why he hired me.’
    She nodded. ‘OK, so what do you want to know?’
    â€˜How long did you wait for Emma before leaving?’
    â€˜Um, probably about twenty minutes.’
    â€˜Did you try calling her?’
    â€˜Yeah, but I couldn’t get through.’
    â€˜Switched off?’
    â€˜Yeah.’
    I looked ahead again. Everything was lies or silence.
    Jenny seemed to sense the change in mood and glanced at me. ‘What?’
    I stopped and met her eyes. ‘Look, I don’t want to scare you, but I know that’s not true.’
    â€˜What do you mean?’ She became defensive too quickly, far too quickly. ‘What, are you saying I’m lying?’
    I tried not to sound too confrontational but I was tiring of her front. ‘Yes, but that doesn’t bother me, Jenny, it really doesn’t. I’m not the police. I’m not going to tell your parentsor shop you for obstruction of justice. I just want to know what you’re not telling everyone.’
    She folded her arms. ‘How do you even know if I’m lying or not?’
    â€˜Her mobile wasn’t off. Her parents called it about ten times and it was on. You didn’t try to phone her or you would have known that.’
    Her eyes widened and for a second I was frightened she was going to run.
    â€˜Don’t even think about it,’ I said, dropping the act. ‘You wouldn’t even have time to shout for help.’
    I could almost see the cogs behind her eyes whirring as she tried to think of a get-out. She started to back away and there were too many people. If the stupid brat ran she would vanish.
    â€˜No,’ I said, taking her arm and jerking her forwards. ‘Look, I don’t give a shit about you, this isn’t about you, it’s about Emma.

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