insisted she have an abortion. When she did, he broke up with her just like that." My dad snapped his fingers.
"Wow. That had to hurt." Thankfully it had nothing to do with my experience with Dirk the dick -- er, jerk.
"I'm sure it did. I'm glad you stopped hanging out with her. Any girl that would sleep around like that and have an abortion is someone you don't need to be friends with. I'm sorry I introduced you to her. Her boyfriend sounds like a real creep."
"You have no idea," I muttered.
"What did you say?" My dad turned the radio down.
"Nothing. I just said you're right." Staring at my cuticles, I picked at them while deciding if I should tell my dad about him or not.
"Your mother miscarried again."
I glanced at my father as he blinked back tears. "I'm sorry, Dad."
"Yeah, well, I don't think we're meant to have any more kids. We just have to accept it and stop wishing things would work out. It hurts your mom too much to lose the babies." He cleared his throat. "I wish she'd get on the pill too."
I stiffened. Did my dad sense there was more to the story with my sudden desire for the pill? I dreaded the truth, so I wasn't about to ask him.
As he pulled into a parking spot outside the Sears entrance, he turned to face me. He shut off the engine, but made no move to get out of the car. "I would understand if you needed the pill for other reasons."
Swallowing hard, I asked, "You would?"
"Yes. Your mom was only sixteen when she got pregnant with you."
"She was?" I'd never really thought about my mom's age when she'd had me. But if I did the math, he was right.
He turned to face me and searched my eyes like he did when we used to have our heart to heart talks. I had all I could do not to sob and throw myself into his arms. "Just make sure you love him, sweetheart. Don't throw your innocence away on a jerk."
My pulse pounded in my ears and my mouth went dry. "I…"
"What is it, Melissa? You can tell me."
Turning my face away to hide my guilt, I said, "I'll do that."
What I really wanted to say is I wasn't innocent anymore. Honestly, part of me still blamed my dad for introducing me to Jenny and causing this whole mess. But I didn't want to hurt him, so I kept it to myself. I might have gotten in trouble with a guy anyway. If not Dirk, some other user.
"She said her boyfriend told her that he'd slept with you. Is that why you've been avoiding her for months?"
"She what?" I ground my teeth, seething to the point I considered shouting the truth in his face. How dare Dirk the dickhead make it sound like a mutual thing!
"It's okay, honey." He patted my hand. "I don't believe her. I know you wouldn't do something like that willingly. Would you?"
"No. You're right. I wouldn't." I pressed my lips together to avoid saying more. The grief-stricken expression on my dad's face told me he was already hurting and feeling some guilt over the issue. The last thing I needed to do was confirm his fears.
"You were with them the night you came home early in the morning and sat on the picnic table waiting for me to open the door, weren't you? You can tell me the truth."
Why did my dad suddenly care? It irked me. "Yes, but I was too upset with myself for disobeying you to tell you at the time. And there's no way I'll call Jenny to work things out. I want nothing to do with her, or her ex-boyfriend."
He studied me a moment, and then sighed. "Let's get some shopping out of the way, okay, honey?"
"Sure." Anything to avoid discussing Dirk the jerk and that entire situation. For once, I was glad my dad wanted to avoid a subject.
We stepped inside the shopping mall, and for the next two hours, my father acted like he didn't have concerns about me. That I hadn't started to tell him Dirk had raped me. But I preferred his avoidance to his intense scrutiny any day. It hurt less than admitting the truth.
And the truth was, he didn't want to know what happened. Then he'd have to deal with it. Avoidance worked for him, so I'd play
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