Read Online Sliding Down the Sky by Amanda Dick - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Amanda Dick
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to show their support and I was grateful for the friendly faces. Gemma had worked just as hard on this place as Leo had, and she wanted it to work out just as much, if not more. Probably for the same reasons I did.
I served a customer, watching the three of them out of the corner of my eye. Leo gave Gemma a brief hug before he took Aria off her and introduced her to the patrons on the other side of the bar. Aria charmed them all, smiling coyly before burying her face in his shoulder. My heart swelled. He was so proud of her. He made it all look so effortless – having a family, providing for them, keeping them safe. And then there was me. He never once made me feel like a burden. He included me in this momentous dream of his as if it was always meant to be this way, when we all knew it wasn’t.
Gemma caught my eye and walked over to envelop me in a warm hug. I knew she understood how hard this was for me, perhaps even more than Leo did. She was easier to talk to than Leo, not because she loved me any differently but because she was a woman. Women thought about things differently. It helped that, as close as we were, we weren’t sisters. The foundation of our relationship was that we were friends first, family second. I loved her straightforward and sensible approach to everything, as well as her flair for knowing exactly what to say at precisely the right moment. It had helped me through a lot of bad days. I loved her sincerity, the fact that she didn’t do anything for show. Everything she did, she meant from the heart.
“So proud of you,” she said in my ear, above the noise. “You’ve come such a long way. Thank you, for being part of this with us.”
She spoke as if I had a choice, as if I’d chosen to be here, with them, and it made me feel guilty. If I hadn’t made one stupid decision a year ago, God only knew where I’d have been tonight, and I would’ve missed all of this.
I hugged her back, nodding into her shoulder. She let me go and went over to collect Aria from Leo, then she took her home and Leo and I went back to serving the crowd of patient revellers.
Gemma was right. I had come a long way, and I had to try and remember that and not concentrate so much on the lengthy journey still ahead of me. That’s the thought I tried to keep in my head as I served one customer after another. They didn’t seem to notice that I wasn’t as confident as Leo, and that I fumbled a bit with the glasses or bottles. I managed not to drop anything important, and I was working out the best way to do things, drawing me the least amount of attention. I realised that people weren’t there to stare at me. They were there to drink and have a good time – I was just incidental.
A switch flipped somewhere deep inside of me. It felt like being on stage again, only this time I was playing the role of barmaid, not musician. The feeling was similar, though. It was the same stage, just a different character. I put the mask on, and I played to the crowd as best I could.
All this time I’d been hiding from people, afraid of what was out there, of how I would be perceived or judged, worried that someone might recognise me. Yet tonight, no one looked twice at me, or my hand. They were too busy trying to make themselves heard over the music, or passing drinks back to their friends, or handing over money. From being afraid of strangers and what they might think of me, I found myself drawing strength from them. I was just part of the crowd again. It was a revelation.
The customer I’d just served took his drinks away, and the space he had just vacated was suddenly filled with Callum. All six-feet-something of him. He smiled at me, and my stomach flip-flopped, which threw me. After what happened at the diner, I was pretty sure I’d scared him away. What I wasn’t expecting was to feel so disappointed about it. Backing away from people had become second nature to me recently, and I knew I could be daunting when I was in
I served a customer, watching the three of them out of the corner of my eye. Leo gave Gemma a brief hug before he took Aria off her and introduced her to the patrons on the other side of the bar. Aria charmed them all, smiling coyly before burying her face in his shoulder. My heart swelled. He was so proud of her. He made it all look so effortless – having a family, providing for them, keeping them safe. And then there was me. He never once made me feel like a burden. He included me in this momentous dream of his as if it was always meant to be this way, when we all knew it wasn’t.
Gemma caught my eye and walked over to envelop me in a warm hug. I knew she understood how hard this was for me, perhaps even more than Leo did. She was easier to talk to than Leo, not because she loved me any differently but because she was a woman. Women thought about things differently. It helped that, as close as we were, we weren’t sisters. The foundation of our relationship was that we were friends first, family second. I loved her straightforward and sensible approach to everything, as well as her flair for knowing exactly what to say at precisely the right moment. It had helped me through a lot of bad days. I loved her sincerity, the fact that she didn’t do anything for show. Everything she did, she meant from the heart.
“So proud of you,” she said in my ear, above the noise. “You’ve come such a long way. Thank you, for being part of this with us.”
She spoke as if I had a choice, as if I’d chosen to be here, with them, and it made me feel guilty. If I hadn’t made one stupid decision a year ago, God only knew where I’d have been tonight, and I would’ve missed all of this.
I hugged her back, nodding into her shoulder. She let me go and went over to collect Aria from Leo, then she took her home and Leo and I went back to serving the crowd of patient revellers.
Gemma was right. I had come a long way, and I had to try and remember that and not concentrate so much on the lengthy journey still ahead of me. That’s the thought I tried to keep in my head as I served one customer after another. They didn’t seem to notice that I wasn’t as confident as Leo, and that I fumbled a bit with the glasses or bottles. I managed not to drop anything important, and I was working out the best way to do things, drawing me the least amount of attention. I realised that people weren’t there to stare at me. They were there to drink and have a good time – I was just incidental.
A switch flipped somewhere deep inside of me. It felt like being on stage again, only this time I was playing the role of barmaid, not musician. The feeling was similar, though. It was the same stage, just a different character. I put the mask on, and I played to the crowd as best I could.
All this time I’d been hiding from people, afraid of what was out there, of how I would be perceived or judged, worried that someone might recognise me. Yet tonight, no one looked twice at me, or my hand. They were too busy trying to make themselves heard over the music, or passing drinks back to their friends, or handing over money. From being afraid of strangers and what they might think of me, I found myself drawing strength from them. I was just part of the crowd again. It was a revelation.
The customer I’d just served took his drinks away, and the space he had just vacated was suddenly filled with Callum. All six-feet-something of him. He smiled at me, and my stomach flip-flopped, which threw me. After what happened at the diner, I was pretty sure I’d scared him away. What I wasn’t expecting was to feel so disappointed about it. Backing away from people had become second nature to me recently, and I knew I could be daunting when I was in
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