Read Online Sliding Down the Sky by Amanda Dick - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Amanda Dick
Ads: Link
began to clear months later, it didn’t hurt so much. A new realisation crept up on me. He had already sacrificed so much for me, helped me in more ways than I thought were even possible. He shouldn’t have to give up playing, too. It made him happy when I listened to him. I could see it in his face. I think he thought I was being healed, somehow… God knows how. I didn’t have the heart to tell him it wasn’t the magic of music, it was the magic of him, my big brother, his huge heart and incredible capacity for loving me, even when I couldn’t love myself.
But watching others play, that was a level of pain I was not prepared for.
“Sass?”
Shit.
I pushed myself upright just as he rounded the corner into the hallway where I was hiding out.
“Just checking stock,” I said hastily. “Everything okay out there?”
He gave me a look, like he knew something was wrong but he didn’t know whether to ask me about it or not.
“It’s fine,” he said, making his choice. “I’m gonna open the front doors. You ready for this?”
No. Not really, not by a long shot. I had to fake it. It was the only way.
Chapter Ten
“There's no way around grief and loss: you can dodge all you want, but sooner or later you just have to go into it, through it, and, hopefully, come out the other side. The world you find there will never be the same as the world you left.”
– Johnny Cash
Sass
For a small bar, The Church was humming. It sat on the corner, a couple of steps leading up from the pavement to the double doors, now painted glossy black, set with the original old brass handles. The dark red carpet was original too, but freshly cleaned. The furniture had been mostly replaced by new stuff, but it was new stuff that had an old vibe. Leo had put in a new sound system, the best quality he could afford. The bar itself ran the length of the narrow room, with the stage at one end and a small dancefloor cleared in front of it. It was a galley bar – long and narrow. The atmosphere was carefully cultivated by Leo to be both comfortable and comforting. The dark red walls were adorned with gig posters from rock concerts he’d attended, ranging from the 1990s to more recently. Mounted in glossy black frames, they were his pride and joy and he’d been collecting them for years. Finally, they had a place to be. I was jealous.
I’d spent some time the day before going around the bar, looking at them. He didn’t have any of me, or of himself when he was playing. I was equal parts relieved and miserable. He should be proud of what he’d achieved, but he’d sacrificed that for me, too. Just in case people asked questions, or put the pieces together.
I’d gotten used to the bar being full of either workmen or just the two of us, and sometimes Gemma and Aria too, as we rearranged or cleaned things, getting everything ready for the opening. But now our humble little space had been invaded by noise and chaos and a room full of strangers. We were bursting at the seams, the live music thankfully blending into the background as I concentrated on listening to the orders coming over the bar.
“Four beers.”
“One whisky, neat; one Coke, no ice.”
“Three beers; one OJ.”
“Six beers and six tequila shots.”
They just kept coming. Leo took care of one end of the bar, I took care of the other. The cash register was in the middle, and every now and then we’d take a moment to swap a word or a look. The place was overflowing and he couldn’t have been any happier, or more relieved. He didn’t say as much, because that wasn’t his style, but I could see it, clear as day. I was happy for him.
As for me, I was getting better at dealing with the bartending thing, on the whole. It took some juggling and a lot of forethought, but I kept telling myself that I just needed practice, and I was getting a lot of that.
Gemma came in briefly with Aria. It wasn’t really the place for kids, but I knew they both wanted
But watching others play, that was a level of pain I was not prepared for.
“Sass?”
Shit.
I pushed myself upright just as he rounded the corner into the hallway where I was hiding out.
“Just checking stock,” I said hastily. “Everything okay out there?”
He gave me a look, like he knew something was wrong but he didn’t know whether to ask me about it or not.
“It’s fine,” he said, making his choice. “I’m gonna open the front doors. You ready for this?”
No. Not really, not by a long shot. I had to fake it. It was the only way.
Chapter Ten
“There's no way around grief and loss: you can dodge all you want, but sooner or later you just have to go into it, through it, and, hopefully, come out the other side. The world you find there will never be the same as the world you left.”
– Johnny Cash
Sass
For a small bar, The Church was humming. It sat on the corner, a couple of steps leading up from the pavement to the double doors, now painted glossy black, set with the original old brass handles. The dark red carpet was original too, but freshly cleaned. The furniture had been mostly replaced by new stuff, but it was new stuff that had an old vibe. Leo had put in a new sound system, the best quality he could afford. The bar itself ran the length of the narrow room, with the stage at one end and a small dancefloor cleared in front of it. It was a galley bar – long and narrow. The atmosphere was carefully cultivated by Leo to be both comfortable and comforting. The dark red walls were adorned with gig posters from rock concerts he’d attended, ranging from the 1990s to more recently. Mounted in glossy black frames, they were his pride and joy and he’d been collecting them for years. Finally, they had a place to be. I was jealous.
I’d spent some time the day before going around the bar, looking at them. He didn’t have any of me, or of himself when he was playing. I was equal parts relieved and miserable. He should be proud of what he’d achieved, but he’d sacrificed that for me, too. Just in case people asked questions, or put the pieces together.
I’d gotten used to the bar being full of either workmen or just the two of us, and sometimes Gemma and Aria too, as we rearranged or cleaned things, getting everything ready for the opening. But now our humble little space had been invaded by noise and chaos and a room full of strangers. We were bursting at the seams, the live music thankfully blending into the background as I concentrated on listening to the orders coming over the bar.
“Four beers.”
“One whisky, neat; one Coke, no ice.”
“Three beers; one OJ.”
“Six beers and six tequila shots.”
They just kept coming. Leo took care of one end of the bar, I took care of the other. The cash register was in the middle, and every now and then we’d take a moment to swap a word or a look. The place was overflowing and he couldn’t have been any happier, or more relieved. He didn’t say as much, because that wasn’t his style, but I could see it, clear as day. I was happy for him.
As for me, I was getting better at dealing with the bartending thing, on the whole. It took some juggling and a lot of forethought, but I kept telling myself that I just needed practice, and I was getting a lot of that.
Gemma came in briefly with Aria. It wasn’t really the place for kids, but I knew they both wanted
Similar Books
