Read Online Skin Deep by Gary Braver - Free Book Online

your emotions to the constantly unfolding human tragedies. Sometimes they work. Sometimes they fail and you find yourself gripped by nightmares and crying jags, overcome by fear, depression, and cynicism.
    The occasional blackout.
    And then you have to go home to loved ones expecting emotional comfort, intimacy, and normal family life. At least medical forensics is science.
    â€œWhat about you?” Neil asked. “Why’d you want to become a cop?”
    â€œI just wanted to get out of the house.”
    â€œThat bad?”
    Steve nodded. “My parents had a rotten marriage, fighting all the time. By the time I went to college, they were dead and I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I thought maybe I’d be an actor. Then it was an English teacher. Then in my junior year I changed to criminal justice. I think it was all those cop shows. They made it look easy. Maybe I should have been a TV cop.”
    â€œYeah. But I can’t see you as an English teacher.”
    â€œMe neither. The funny thing is when I was a kid I never felt comfortable around cops. They’d look at me twice and I’d feel like I’d done something wrong.”
    â€œSounds to me like you were paranoid.”
    â€œYeah. I always felt guilty around them. Pretty weird, huh?”
    â€œSo, why’d you want to become one?”
    â€œI guess to get bigger than the things that scared me.”
    Neil looked at him with a half smirk. “You there yet?”
    â€œI don’t know. I think the job’s made it worse.”
    They arrived at the stoplight at Massachusetts and Columbus Avenues. “Check out this girl.”
    Waiting at the light were two young women, one wearing a Northeastern University baseball cap and unremarkable student attire. The other was curvy and dressed in low-slung jeans and a short tight top, leaving most of her midriff exposed. She held a cell phone to her ear and leaned back slightly to hear better, stretching her exposure. “Cute,” Steve said.
    â€œCute? Her jeans are practically down to her bush.”
    â€œFunny thing is you see a woman’s stomach on the beach all the time and you give it little thought. But cover the rest of her and put her on the street, and it’s provocative.”
    â€œProvocative? It’s goddamn slutty. And that’s the standard-issue mall-girl look. I took Lily to the Cambridge Galleria last weekend, and I swear half the girls are dressed like that—got the belly-baring tops and low-slung spray-on jeans. Their navels got beads and rings and tribal tattoos. And the latest is short shorts with fishnets. I mean, they look like porn stars.”
    Since his wife’s death, Neil had been raising Lily on his own. She was a sullen kid who, like her father, suffered from migraines and who had some emotional issues that Neil said they were dealing with. Steve counted the seconds for the light to change.
    â€œYou see the same thing in church,” Neil continued. “No modesty. When I was a kid, you showed up in jeans or shorts, they wouldn’t let you in the door.”
    â€œProbably stone you.”
    â€œI’m serious, man. Women wore dresses.”
    â€œTimes have changed.”
    â€œYeah, for the worse. I look at a girl like that and wonder what she was thinking when she looked in the mirror.”
    â€œProbably, ‘This is how I feel like expressing myself.’”
    â€œYeah, ‘I’m hot. Fuck me.’”
    â€œI was thinking more like, ‘I’m cute. Desire me.’”
    â€œMaybe it’s because you don’t have a daughter.”
    â€œMaybe. But I still don’t think girls consider if boys will be turned-on or not. I think they dress because of what they see on other girls or TV. It’s personal theater.”
    â€œOkay, ‘I’m a ho in a hip-hop video.’”
    â€œI didn’t say it was intelligent theater.”
    Behind Neil’s protest