Read Online Sixteen and Dying by Lurlene McDaniel - Free Book Online

figured it was a skill teachers must cultivate in order to deal with belligerent students. “Why did you do it, Dad? Why would you tell him such a thing when you know I want a normal life.”
    He sighed heavily and urged her to sit beside him on the steps. “All right, maybe I did question him about his motives toward you.”
    “His motives? What are you—a detective?”
    “You’re infatuated with him, Anne.”
    She felt her cheeks color. Were her feelings so obvious that her father could read them from a distance? “I’ve never known anyone like Morgan before.”
    “Anne, this type of attraction is a first for you. It’s been a long time coming, but the time has arrived. I’ve never seen you interested in a boy before, and it’s … difficult for me.”
    She hated the way he made her special feelings for Morgan sound so common and ordinary, as if they made up some kind of phase
everybody
went through. “You must think I’m a real social reject.”
    “I think you’re beautiful, talented, smart, and heads and hands above any of the overly hormone-infusedteenage boys from high school. I knew none of them could ever hold your interest.”
    “You’re my father—of course, you think I’m one of a kind.”
    “As your father,” he said, “I’ve been both anticipating and dreading this day for years. The day when you’d meet a guy who saw you for the wonderful person you are. And wanted you in every way.”
    She was missing her mother again. “You make it sound like I’m some raw, throbbing hormone, waiting to be pounced upon by some guy.” In spite of her irritation, Anne smiled. “You can’t be worried that I might trip and fall into his bed. We both know why.”
    When her father answered, she knew he’d given his reply much thought. “Sometimes, when I look at you, I still see that gangly eleven-year-old with the bruised knees and scraped elbows. It’s difficult accepting that you’re a grown woman. That you’re feeling all the emotions of a normal sixteen-year-old. I never wanted to think of you growing up and getting involved with any man … not even the one you marry and now …”
    “Except we both know that I’ll never marry, don’t we?”
    She saw that his eyes were damp. “Sometimes, when I think about what’s happening to you, it’s more than I can bare. Sometimes, I wake in the middle of the night, and I’m sweating and shaking, and I can’t catch my breath. I can’t believe all that’s being taken away from you. It isn’t right. It isn’t fair.I’d give anything to have the disease and see you free of it. But I can’t.”
    First, he lost her mother; now, he was losing her. Not in a normal way of giving her away in marriage. But to premature death. Just for the moment, she caught the impact of his anguish. “Daddy, I’ve been trying to sort out answers for myself about what’s happened to me. I’ve thought about little else. Not just ‘why me?’ but why people have to suffer in the first place. Maybe we’re not supposed to understand. Maybe all we can do is accept what we can’t change, and keep on going. I realized that after mom died or I couldn’t have gone on.”
    “It sounds as if you’ve examined life’s imponderables with far more maturity than I have given you credit for,” her father commented.
    “That’s what I’ve been doing when I haven’t been riding, or looking longingly at Morgan.”
    He gave a quiet, sad laugh. “I don’t feel I’m doing enough to help you. Enough to protect you.”
    “I’ll need you most when we go home. When I get really sick.”
    “I’ll be there for you. I’ll never desert you, Anne.” He pulled her to his side and kissed the top of her head. “In the meantime, you be careful around Morgan. Don’t do anything foolish. I don’t want you to have a broken heart too. I can’t fix that either.”
    Anne wondered how she could be anything but careful. She knew what was at stake. Perhaps her father was right.