right. I...I deserved it.” Did he mean that? But he recalled that fleeting thought in his head as Cole had jerked him back to his feet for a second go round. He had silently pleaded for the man to beat him to a bloody mess...as if he'd known then and there that he had been wrong to say what he'd said to Abel.
“I realize the pain all of this is causing you.” Max spoke low, with a note of sympathy in his voice. “And no one has the right to expect you to take sides against your brother. But let me tell you what I know about this situation.” he sighed and pressed his lips tight. “I know the look of a young man in love. And if ever I saw that look in anyone's eyes...it was Abel's. I can't ask you not to seek justice for your brother's death, but I can ask you this – why would Abel lie to you? The boy was crazy about you. And he cared for you so deeply that he tried to run when you asked for the truth. He ran because he didn't want to hurt you.”
Devlin ducked his head, resting his brow against his palm, eyes burning. An unbearable ache squeezed his chest, tightened his stomach until he could barely breathe. These were questions he'd tried to shut out, keep from asking himself. Because he knew the answers, and in admitting he knew...he would have to also admit other things that would rip him apart inside.
“But if you choose to have Abel prosecuted,” Max said stiffly, “You will never see the boy again. Right now, he is someplace far away and safe, and accompanied by someone with the means to keep him that way. If you decide to go that route, you will be met with a dead end. Because you will never touch him.”
Tears welled and rolled down Devlin's face.
Max's voice lowered, softened, “When you held Abel in your arms...made love to him...was there anything about him that could've convinced you he was a cold blooded murderer?”
He was perfect...like an angel. So pure and beautiful.
Devlin wiped his face, breath shuddering. “No.” he whispered, choking on his tears. “But...I knew my brother. I grew up with him. I'm just supposed to...forget everything I knew about him? All the good in him? He was...” Devlin's chin trembled. “he was everything to me.”
“I'm not telling you what to believe.” Max said. “I'm just asking that – before you make any concrete decisions to turn Abel in – that you take time to consider the facts about the boy. If he wanted to hurt you, for whatever reason...why would he have tried so hard to keep from telling you?”
He wouldn't have. Devlin felt sick.
“It crushed him to have to tell you about your brother.” Max said quietly, an ache tightening his voice. He truly cared for Abel. As did Cole and Gabe. The boy was well loved by those who knew him. He was well loved by you too. “And it shattered him...when you did what you did.”
I know! Devlin wanted to scream. I know what I did to him! Stop fucking rem inding me! Please, just...stop.
***
At some point, they had left off sight-seeing the main attractions of the city and found themselves strolling down a cobblestone street that passed through high brick buildings. There was something very peaceful about this part of the city. Everyone they passed seemed at ease, as if they understood that life was to be savored, enjoyed for each moment. It was such contrast to New York City where life seemed on fast forward.
“Do you like pizza?” Kaplan asked, drawing Abel from his thoughts.
“Uh...yeah.”
Kaplan led him over to a small, walk-up shop that resonated an incredible pizza aroma unlike anything Abel had ever smelled before. Kaplan bought two slices that were served to them on thick napkins. “You haven't truly experienced pizza until you've tasted it in Italy.”
Abel took a bit – and nearly moaned. “Oh my god.” he smiled. “This is...the most amazing pizza ever.” He took another bite, prepared for the delicious flavor this time.
Chuckling, Kaplan began to eat his own piece, but watching
“I realize the pain all of this is causing you.” Max spoke low, with a note of sympathy in his voice. “And no one has the right to expect you to take sides against your brother. But let me tell you what I know about this situation.” he sighed and pressed his lips tight. “I know the look of a young man in love. And if ever I saw that look in anyone's eyes...it was Abel's. I can't ask you not to seek justice for your brother's death, but I can ask you this – why would Abel lie to you? The boy was crazy about you. And he cared for you so deeply that he tried to run when you asked for the truth. He ran because he didn't want to hurt you.”
Devlin ducked his head, resting his brow against his palm, eyes burning. An unbearable ache squeezed his chest, tightened his stomach until he could barely breathe. These were questions he'd tried to shut out, keep from asking himself. Because he knew the answers, and in admitting he knew...he would have to also admit other things that would rip him apart inside.
“But if you choose to have Abel prosecuted,” Max said stiffly, “You will never see the boy again. Right now, he is someplace far away and safe, and accompanied by someone with the means to keep him that way. If you decide to go that route, you will be met with a dead end. Because you will never touch him.”
Tears welled and rolled down Devlin's face.
Max's voice lowered, softened, “When you held Abel in your arms...made love to him...was there anything about him that could've convinced you he was a cold blooded murderer?”
He was perfect...like an angel. So pure and beautiful.
Devlin wiped his face, breath shuddering. “No.” he whispered, choking on his tears. “But...I knew my brother. I grew up with him. I'm just supposed to...forget everything I knew about him? All the good in him? He was...” Devlin's chin trembled. “he was everything to me.”
“I'm not telling you what to believe.” Max said. “I'm just asking that – before you make any concrete decisions to turn Abel in – that you take time to consider the facts about the boy. If he wanted to hurt you, for whatever reason...why would he have tried so hard to keep from telling you?”
He wouldn't have. Devlin felt sick.
“It crushed him to have to tell you about your brother.” Max said quietly, an ache tightening his voice. He truly cared for Abel. As did Cole and Gabe. The boy was well loved by those who knew him. He was well loved by you too. “And it shattered him...when you did what you did.”
I know! Devlin wanted to scream. I know what I did to him! Stop fucking rem inding me! Please, just...stop.
***
At some point, they had left off sight-seeing the main attractions of the city and found themselves strolling down a cobblestone street that passed through high brick buildings. There was something very peaceful about this part of the city. Everyone they passed seemed at ease, as if they understood that life was to be savored, enjoyed for each moment. It was such contrast to New York City where life seemed on fast forward.
“Do you like pizza?” Kaplan asked, drawing Abel from his thoughts.
“Uh...yeah.”
Kaplan led him over to a small, walk-up shop that resonated an incredible pizza aroma unlike anything Abel had ever smelled before. Kaplan bought two slices that were served to them on thick napkins. “You haven't truly experienced pizza until you've tasted it in Italy.”
Abel took a bit – and nearly moaned. “Oh my god.” he smiled. “This is...the most amazing pizza ever.” He took another bite, prepared for the delicious flavor this time.
Chuckling, Kaplan began to eat his own piece, but watching
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