small table and filled each glass half full. He walked over to the banister then held out one glass to Abel.
Approaching him, Abel took the drink. It was near sunset and an orange glow was beginning to settle over the eternal city. Abel stared out over the inspiring view. He felt like an outsider trying to fit in where he didn't belong. A sinner who had somehow sneaked into heaven, but could feel the place rejecting his presence.
“Are you going to tell me at which point I fucked up today?” Kaplan leaned his elbows on the glass wall, gazing down into his wine that shimmered multicolors in the light of the setting sun. He twisted his head slowly and gazed at Abel. “Did I say something wrong?”
Abel licked his lips. “What do you mean?”
Straightening, Kaplan turned his back to the view and rested against the railing, twisting his wine glass in his fingertips. “Please don't insult my intelligence, Abel.” he said. “Just tell me the truth. Did I say something wrong?”
“No.” Abel whispered. “You...said something right.”
“I'm not following.”
Abel set his glass on the banister. “When you said you disagreed that the finest things of life were free, because I wasn't free.” his lips pinched. “I guess it...brought me back to reality. Reminded me what I am and what my role is.” he looked out across the expansive view. “This place,” he murmured, “it has a way of...making one forget...what is.” He cleared his throat and lowered his eyes. “And what you said, it just...reminded me.”
Kaplan took his hand and squeezed gently. “I'm sorry.” he said quietly. “In no way did I mean to imply that I see you as merely a purchased piece of ass.”
“That's just it.” Abel drew back, pulling his hand free as he moved away from the man. “That is what I am. And I need to remember that, and...not get caught up in the...romance of this place.”
“What's wrong with romance?” Kaplan wondered softly.
Abel shook his head, his throat squeezing as a sudden rush of memories of Devlin swept through his head. He never wanted to feel that again, with anyone. He would never give his heart away again – or let it be taken. “Nothing.” he said thickly, “For the right people. But you and I...we're not lovers.”
Licking his lips, Kaplan ran a quick hand over his mouth and cocked his head, “Last night...it sure felt like we were.”
“That's because...I got distracted from reality.”
Kaplan sighed, “Then I can't say I'm opposed to you getting distracted.”
“Well I am.” Abel said tightly. “I got distracted once already, started to think I could have what other people have – and that little illusion stabbed me in the fucking back.” He thrust his hand through his hair, tears burning. “I'm not looking for a lover. Not in you, not in anyone. So don't make this out to be more than it is. You're paying to fuck me – period. And that line between us...it needs to stay clear.”
Nodding slowly, Kaplan released a hard sigh. “If that's how you want it.” He set aside his wine glass and tugged at his tie, his eyes sparking with a flicker of what seemed to be both anger and hurt. “Then I guess I should be about getting my money's worth, shouldn't I?”
***
Waiting for the phone to ring was nothing short of the torture of having needles run under his fingernails. He'd gone back to the hospital after his meeting with Max Raines – a meeting that had left him on the edge of severe emotional trauma, and wanting to throw up from the stress of his situation with Abel. Which was now compounded by Brandon's confession, though yet unexplained.
Because he had to keep his phone off within sections of the hospital, Devlin was taking every opportunity to slip out and check his messages. But so far, Brandon hadn't tried to call. Do you even want him to? You know what he's going to say, don't you?
Devlin denied it. Maybe it was something altogether different. If it had been something
Approaching him, Abel took the drink. It was near sunset and an orange glow was beginning to settle over the eternal city. Abel stared out over the inspiring view. He felt like an outsider trying to fit in where he didn't belong. A sinner who had somehow sneaked into heaven, but could feel the place rejecting his presence.
“Are you going to tell me at which point I fucked up today?” Kaplan leaned his elbows on the glass wall, gazing down into his wine that shimmered multicolors in the light of the setting sun. He twisted his head slowly and gazed at Abel. “Did I say something wrong?”
Abel licked his lips. “What do you mean?”
Straightening, Kaplan turned his back to the view and rested against the railing, twisting his wine glass in his fingertips. “Please don't insult my intelligence, Abel.” he said. “Just tell me the truth. Did I say something wrong?”
“No.” Abel whispered. “You...said something right.”
“I'm not following.”
Abel set his glass on the banister. “When you said you disagreed that the finest things of life were free, because I wasn't free.” his lips pinched. “I guess it...brought me back to reality. Reminded me what I am and what my role is.” he looked out across the expansive view. “This place,” he murmured, “it has a way of...making one forget...what is.” He cleared his throat and lowered his eyes. “And what you said, it just...reminded me.”
Kaplan took his hand and squeezed gently. “I'm sorry.” he said quietly. “In no way did I mean to imply that I see you as merely a purchased piece of ass.”
“That's just it.” Abel drew back, pulling his hand free as he moved away from the man. “That is what I am. And I need to remember that, and...not get caught up in the...romance of this place.”
“What's wrong with romance?” Kaplan wondered softly.
Abel shook his head, his throat squeezing as a sudden rush of memories of Devlin swept through his head. He never wanted to feel that again, with anyone. He would never give his heart away again – or let it be taken. “Nothing.” he said thickly, “For the right people. But you and I...we're not lovers.”
Licking his lips, Kaplan ran a quick hand over his mouth and cocked his head, “Last night...it sure felt like we were.”
“That's because...I got distracted from reality.”
Kaplan sighed, “Then I can't say I'm opposed to you getting distracted.”
“Well I am.” Abel said tightly. “I got distracted once already, started to think I could have what other people have – and that little illusion stabbed me in the fucking back.” He thrust his hand through his hair, tears burning. “I'm not looking for a lover. Not in you, not in anyone. So don't make this out to be more than it is. You're paying to fuck me – period. And that line between us...it needs to stay clear.”
Nodding slowly, Kaplan released a hard sigh. “If that's how you want it.” He set aside his wine glass and tugged at his tie, his eyes sparking with a flicker of what seemed to be both anger and hurt. “Then I guess I should be about getting my money's worth, shouldn't I?”
***
Waiting for the phone to ring was nothing short of the torture of having needles run under his fingernails. He'd gone back to the hospital after his meeting with Max Raines – a meeting that had left him on the edge of severe emotional trauma, and wanting to throw up from the stress of his situation with Abel. Which was now compounded by Brandon's confession, though yet unexplained.
Because he had to keep his phone off within sections of the hospital, Devlin was taking every opportunity to slip out and check his messages. But so far, Brandon hadn't tried to call. Do you even want him to? You know what he's going to say, don't you?
Devlin denied it. Maybe it was something altogether different. If it had been something
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