Read Online Shadowplay by Laura Lam - Free Book Online Page B

Break down each and every barrier? Find out how good you are by how evil you can be?
    “Some say this is how the Alder became great.”
    The Tyndall Philosophy, Alvis Tyndall
     
    Over the next few days, Drystan and I spent so much time palming cards at the top or bottom of a deck as we shuffled, or hiding them behind our fingers, that new blisters formed on our fingertips. Eventually, we moved onto coins, billiard balls, eggs and flowers from paper cones. Soon, I felt as though my fingers had a mind of their own. My thumbs no longer caused me pain.
    Drystan grew impatient, as many of the tricks were those he had learned from Maske before, or were a regular part of his clown’s repertoire.
    “When will we move onto illusion?” he would ask.
    “When you are ready,” was all Maske would reply.
    At the end of the three months, Maske did not ask us to leave.
    Neither did we ask to go.
    The next day, he said that we were ready, and we’d meet the magician’s assistant he planned to hire.
     
    “I don’t like that Maske is bringing in someone new,” I told Drystan as we hung our paltry washing on the line attached to the roof.
     “Maske has known her since she was a child, and says we can trust her.”
    “That’s all very well and good that he knows her, but we don’t. And he’s being very cagey about this girl’s background.”
    “He doesn’t like to divulge secrets. His or anyone else’s.”
    “I’ve noticed,” I said, dourly, as we made our way back to the loft. “So maybe I should be the pretty female assistant. You’re better at magic than me anyway.”
    “I’ve only had more practice.” He cocked his head, studying me. “That could work.”
    I stifled a girlish blush, wondering if he had just called me pretty. Did I want him to consider me pretty, or handsome?
    He continued without hesitation. “I think most of the illusions Maske is planning require two people, though.”
    “What about stagehands?” I asked.
    “Maske doesn’t like stagehands,” he said. “Many of them have stolen or sold his tricks to his rivals. Besides, you’re probably better off hiding as a man.”
    “Why?” I asked. “People are hunting for me as both a man and a woman. I’m not safe as either.” Bitterness colored my voice. “They’re looking for two escaped boys from the circus.”
    “Yes, but not two boys, a girl, and an old magician.”
    “And not an old magician, a boy, and a girl,” I countered.
    He paused at the heat in my voice. “So, are you saying you want to go back to dressing as a woman? Is that it?” he asked.
    That brought me up short.
    “I don’t know,” I said. “I suppose not. I’ve worn skirts for quite a long time. I’ve only worn trousers for less than a year.”
    Drystan looked as though he wanted to ask me something, but he wasn’t sure if he should.
    “What is it?” I asked, my stomach twisting.
    His hair fell over his forehead. I fought down the urge to push it back from his face. Freckles dotted his nose and cheeks as though they were dusted with cinnamon. “We haven’t really broached the subject, have we?”
    We hadn’t. Not since I’d shown him what I was. Before that, he’d thought I was a girl disguised as a boy.
    “We have successfully avoided many things for months, yes.” We never did move from the loft to separate bedrooms downstairs, but I always dressed in the bathroom. Drystan was less self-conscious, often lounging on his bed without his shirt after a bath, leaving me studiously avoiding staring at the flat planes of his stomach and chest.
    He pressed his lips together. “It’s hard to phrase it like I want to. But – how do you feel? About what you are?”
    I turned the question over in my mind, trying to find the words that would articulate how I did feel. In the end, it was simple.
    “I’m fine with what I am.” It felt freeing to say that aloud. I would not change what I was. I ran away from the chance. “What I don’t like is that many