of makes me want to as well. He’s definitely flirting. I’m not that out of it I can’t see the signs. As the night progresses and the three of us get drunker, Joel stands and announces. “I’m going to stretch my legs. Anyone want anything while I’m up?” I look fuzzily into the remains of our last margarita. “I think I’m okay. Maybe water?” “And chips,” Nicholas adds. “I could eat the leg off a rag doll.” “You just ate a huge plate of burritos and half my enchiladas.” I snort. “How the hell can you… what do you…” God, I’m drunker than I realised. That thought has totally slipped from my head, mid-sentence. Nicholas shrugs and smiles but doesn’t answer. We watch as Joel walks sloppily to the bar. He’s doing a funny jogging sort of walk that’s happy and jaunty and a little bit pissed. Everyone is staring but not in the he’s-so-sad-and-pathetic way. They’re as mesmerised as me. He’s utterly adorable. “He could charm the knickers off a nun,” Nicholas says, his eyes on Joel, who’s making funny quips to other customers on his way to the loo. “I’ve noticed.” “You like Joel, huh?” Nicholas says as the toilet door closes and Joel disappears. His hands have appeared from under the table and are fiddling with his coaster. Shit. This is awkward. “Um yeah, he’s cool. But I like you too, Nicholas. I really do.” “The way you like him?” I know this is the alcohol talking but I can’t believe he’s being so frank. Men are not frank. They don’t blurt out their feelings after a couple of outings. Well, not the guys I know. You’d be lucky to know what most of them think after a decade. “Yes. Definitely, the way I like Joel. I don’t know what it is but I feel like I’ve got a connection to you both.” My voice is uncertain. I can’t believe I’m opening up to him. Again. I want to ask him if he believes in love at first sight but I know he’ll think I’m crazy or try to explain this as some sort of chemical-hormonal reaction. Which it’s not. It’s nothing like that. “I can’t explain it.” “And you don’t know who to choose?” “I didn’t know there was a choice involved. Is there a choice?” Are we that deep into this already that I have to choose? Nicholas leans across the table. His face looks more sombre than it did a second ago. I don’t know how that happened but my eyes are having trouble focussing so I guess it could be me. I sit still as he takes my face in his hands. The softness of his palms on my skin triggers something deep inside me. It’s warm and sensual and it’s spreading through my body like hot sauce over ice cream. It feels soooo good. I lean my cheek into his palm. I close my eyes and breathe him deeply into my lungs. He smells of beer and lemon and even though I hate beer it’s wildly erotic. Suddenly, I am no longer drunk and neither is Nicholas. When I open my eyes he is gazing at me like I am the most perfect thing he has ever seen. The room around us disappears and I swallow in anticipation of what I hope is about to happen. He leans forward. His lips are almost on mine. The heat from his mouth is on mine. He’s studying my eyes. Kiss me, I think. Geez, just freakin’ kiss me. I’m dying here. “If you’re in the mood for choosing, I think you should choose me,” he whispers. “Why?” I whisper back. As if I need a reason. The reason has his hands on my face. My heart is pounding, set to explode with some unexplained feeling I’ve never felt. I don’t understand it. I can’t understand it. “Because.” And then his lips are touching mine. His tongue is in my mouth, coaxing me into submission, giving me every reason I need. The kiss is long and slow. It’s tantalisingly perfect. It’s promising something I don’t think I knew existed before now. When we finally pull apart, I am breathless. Literally breathless. And very confused. “I’m back . Miss me?