me.’
Dr and Mrs Trifle ran into the house. Just then Aunt Jetty and her boys lunged at Selby and he shot into the house, slamming the door behind him.
‘They could have killed me!’ Selby panted.
‘I’ll fix them.’
Selby grabbed the phone and rang the police station.
‘Is that you, Biff?’ he said.
‘Oh, so it’s you, Mr Mayor. Now what can I do for you?’
‘I’ve got a problem,’ Selby said. ‘There are three stray people in my front yard.’
‘This town is full of stray people,’ the police dog said. ‘Not much I can do about it if we don’t have a leash law.’
‘Okay, so I was wrong,’ Selby said. ‘You’ve got to help me.’
‘Well, I’d like to help,’ the police dog said, ‘but I guess we’ll just have to wait for the next open council meeting in June. Then you can give another one of those fancy speeches and see if the dogs will go for the leash laws.’
Selby looked out at Aunt Jetty and her sons who were now ripping out Mrs Trifle’s new plants.
‘But they’re destroying my yard,’ Selby said. ‘And they attacked me.’
‘Have you tried ringing their owners?’
‘They don’t have an owner ever since Crusher died.’
‘Poor old Crush,’ the police dog said. ‘He was a great bloke.’
‘Aunt Jetty just ripped out my mailbox! She’s destroying my property,’ Selby said. ‘Can’t you get the dog — I mean,
people
— catcher over here?’
‘You could do that yourself, Mr Mayor. The only problem is that we don’t have a people-catcher. You sacked him in your last cutbacks.’
‘I did that?’
As Willy and Billy were beating the Trifles’car with their wizard clubs, Selby quickly said goodbye to the police dog and rang the council office.
‘This is Mayor Trifle here — Mayor
Selby
Trifle. Who’s this?’
‘It’s Fifi, sir,’ the voice said.
‘Okay, Fifi. Listen up and listen good. I want you to ring the people-catcher and tell him that he’s hired again. Then send him over here. I’ve got people problems.’
‘You’re wasting your time,’ Fifi said. ‘He won’t come back. He was angry because of all the other people you sacked.’
‘This is ridiculous!’ Selby said. ‘I’m the mayor and I’m the boss. Ring everyone and tell them they’ve got their jobs back.’
‘But we don’t have enough money to pay them. That’s why you let them go.’
‘Listen, Feef,’ Selby said. ‘Get some more money. Raise the rates. Put up “No Parking” signs everywhere and give people parking tickets. Sell the school. Do whatever it takes.’
‘Yes, sir!’ Fifi said. ‘By the way, I need to take tomorrow off because my boyfriend is going away and —’
‘No time off,’ Selby said. ‘And ring me when there’s some money. Goodbye.’
Click.
‘Time off,’ Selby thought. ‘If I give her time off then everyone’s going to want time off. I had no idea being the top dog was going to be this tricky. Oh, well, now to watch some more of
Roxanna the Sorcerer.
‘
Brrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiing.
This time someone asked him if he would give a talk to all the puppies at the Bogusville Primary School library.
‘I’d love to,’ Selby said. ‘That sounds like fun.’
And would he judge a fashion show at the Bogusville Bijou Theatre?
‘Sure, okay,’ Selby said.
And would he give the speech at the Flower Show?
‘Oh, I guess so,’ Selby sighed.
And would he lead the volunteers in picking up the rubbish along Bogusville Creek?
‘I’d love to,’ Selby said. ‘But I have a bit of a bad back.’
‘The TV cameras will be there to show how the mayor isn’t afraid to get his paws dirty,’ hewas told. ‘Of course if you don’t want to get reelected …’
‘Oh, all right,’ Selby said.
The next day, Selby came home from the council exhausted. Everyone had been angry. He’d had to have the “No Parking” signs taken down and the “For Sale” sign removed from the school.
‘Can’t we just have a sausage sizzle and raise the
Dr and Mrs Trifle ran into the house. Just then Aunt Jetty and her boys lunged at Selby and he shot into the house, slamming the door behind him.
‘They could have killed me!’ Selby panted.
‘I’ll fix them.’
Selby grabbed the phone and rang the police station.
‘Is that you, Biff?’ he said.
‘Oh, so it’s you, Mr Mayor. Now what can I do for you?’
‘I’ve got a problem,’ Selby said. ‘There are three stray people in my front yard.’
‘This town is full of stray people,’ the police dog said. ‘Not much I can do about it if we don’t have a leash law.’
‘Okay, so I was wrong,’ Selby said. ‘You’ve got to help me.’
‘Well, I’d like to help,’ the police dog said, ‘but I guess we’ll just have to wait for the next open council meeting in June. Then you can give another one of those fancy speeches and see if the dogs will go for the leash laws.’
Selby looked out at Aunt Jetty and her sons who were now ripping out Mrs Trifle’s new plants.
‘But they’re destroying my yard,’ Selby said. ‘And they attacked me.’
‘Have you tried ringing their owners?’
‘They don’t have an owner ever since Crusher died.’
‘Poor old Crush,’ the police dog said. ‘He was a great bloke.’
‘Aunt Jetty just ripped out my mailbox! She’s destroying my property,’ Selby said. ‘Can’t you get the dog — I mean,
people
— catcher over here?’
‘You could do that yourself, Mr Mayor. The only problem is that we don’t have a people-catcher. You sacked him in your last cutbacks.’
‘I did that?’
As Willy and Billy were beating the Trifles’car with their wizard clubs, Selby quickly said goodbye to the police dog and rang the council office.
‘This is Mayor Trifle here — Mayor
Selby
Trifle. Who’s this?’
‘It’s Fifi, sir,’ the voice said.
‘Okay, Fifi. Listen up and listen good. I want you to ring the people-catcher and tell him that he’s hired again. Then send him over here. I’ve got people problems.’
‘You’re wasting your time,’ Fifi said. ‘He won’t come back. He was angry because of all the other people you sacked.’
‘This is ridiculous!’ Selby said. ‘I’m the mayor and I’m the boss. Ring everyone and tell them they’ve got their jobs back.’
‘But we don’t have enough money to pay them. That’s why you let them go.’
‘Listen, Feef,’ Selby said. ‘Get some more money. Raise the rates. Put up “No Parking” signs everywhere and give people parking tickets. Sell the school. Do whatever it takes.’
‘Yes, sir!’ Fifi said. ‘By the way, I need to take tomorrow off because my boyfriend is going away and —’
‘No time off,’ Selby said. ‘And ring me when there’s some money. Goodbye.’
Click.
‘Time off,’ Selby thought. ‘If I give her time off then everyone’s going to want time off. I had no idea being the top dog was going to be this tricky. Oh, well, now to watch some more of
Roxanna the Sorcerer.
‘
Brrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiing.
This time someone asked him if he would give a talk to all the puppies at the Bogusville Primary School library.
‘I’d love to,’ Selby said. ‘That sounds like fun.’
And would he judge a fashion show at the Bogusville Bijou Theatre?
‘Sure, okay,’ Selby said.
And would he give the speech at the Flower Show?
‘Oh, I guess so,’ Selby sighed.
And would he lead the volunteers in picking up the rubbish along Bogusville Creek?
‘I’d love to,’ Selby said. ‘But I have a bit of a bad back.’
‘The TV cameras will be there to show how the mayor isn’t afraid to get his paws dirty,’ hewas told. ‘Of course if you don’t want to get reelected …’
‘Oh, all right,’ Selby said.
The next day, Selby came home from the council exhausted. Everyone had been angry. He’d had to have the “No Parking” signs taken down and the “For Sale” sign removed from the school.
‘Can’t we just have a sausage sizzle and raise the
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