dogs! I ain’t seen nothin’ so stupid!’
‘It’s the purple,’ Selby thought. ‘Maybe it clashes with my eye colour.’
A ripe tomato flew through the air and smashed against the runway, splattering Selby. Next it was a cabbage and then a dozen eggs landed all around him. Soon the air was filled with flying food.
‘Oh, no!’ Selby thought. ‘What have I done wrong? Maybe I didn’t get my I’m-gorgeous-and-you’re-not look right. Maybe I smiled and looked friendly by mistake. But never mind that — I’ve got to get out of here!’
‘Come on, let’s get outta here!’ someone else yelled. ‘We’ve got better things to do than to watch this stupid carry-on!’
Selby bobbed and ducked his way through flying fruit and then skidded on egg-slime until he was safely back behind the curtain.
‘Oh, you poor darling,’ Mrs Trifle said, helping Selby off with the clothes and giving him a cuddle. ‘It wasn’t you they were angry at — it was the clothes.’
‘They have gone crazies!’ the designer cried, peeking out into the emptying hall.
‘I think they’re just not ready for your designs,’ Mrs Trifle said, trying to be as polite as possible.
‘Ready for them —? They
hate
them!’ the man squealed. ‘Everybody in Bulbousville so shocked! Angry! Is so different for them! Is wonderful! Is beautiful! This will be hugest success of Massimo Panni! Thank you, thank you, doggie,’ he said, patting Selby.
‘But Mr Panni,’ Mrs Trifle said, ‘why are you so happy?’
‘Mrs Mayor, please, you don’t understand. Nobody buy my clothez in my shows.’
‘They don’t?’
‘No, no. They too expensive. And they very weird like theez doggie clothez. Nobody want them. But is good everybody get so angry and shock. Now everybody in the world see food-throwing on TV.’
‘But why is that good?’ Mrs Trifle asked.
‘Because now they remember name of Massimo Panni. Then they buy Massimo Panni underpantez. Is good, no?’
‘But, Mr Panni, why would anyone want to buy expensive designer underwear when nobody’s going to see it?’
‘Is true. I don’t know why but people buy lots and lots of Panni Panties and Massimo is very very wealthy man. Goodbye, Mrs Mayor,’ he said, kissing her hand. ‘Thank you for everything so much.’
‘It’s been — well — a pleasure, I guess,’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘Goodbye.’
Selby watched as the designer and his helpers drove away.
‘Oh, well,’ he thought. ‘There goes my last chance to get a decent wardrobe. I guess I’ll just have to walk around naked — like every other dog in the world. It doesn’t seem fair but what can you do?’
* * *
It was winter in Bogusville and Selby lay shivering on the lounge. Only this time instead of reading fashion magazines, he was reading a good book.
Paw note: See the stories ‘Selby Superpooch’ and ‘Selby Spacedog’ in the book
Selby Spacedog
to read about those adventures.
S
SELBY’S STATUE
‘So you want me to make a statue of a dog?’ the sculptor, Sigfried Slapdash, asked Mrs Trifle when he arrived at Bogusville Town Hall.
‘Not just any dog,’ Mrs Trifle explained. ‘A very famous dog. Her name was Bogus and she was the founder of Bogusville. We want a statue of her to put in Bogusville Park.’
‘Excuse me, but did you say that this town was started by a dog? That’s absurd. Dogs can’t start towns — only people can.’
‘Bogus was owned by a man named Brumby Bill about a hundred years ago. He was sick of the city so he moved to the country to look for gold. One day Bogus wandered away from the campsiteand got lost. Brumby Billfinally found her right here. He fell in love with this area, built himself a house, and then he and Bogus just stayed on. Gradually other people moved here and built houses and Brumby Bill named the town Bogusville, after the dog that he loved so much.’
‘Oh, isn’t that a lovely story,’ Selby thought as he lay nearby on the floor, secretly
‘It’s the purple,’ Selby thought. ‘Maybe it clashes with my eye colour.’
A ripe tomato flew through the air and smashed against the runway, splattering Selby. Next it was a cabbage and then a dozen eggs landed all around him. Soon the air was filled with flying food.
‘Oh, no!’ Selby thought. ‘What have I done wrong? Maybe I didn’t get my I’m-gorgeous-and-you’re-not look right. Maybe I smiled and looked friendly by mistake. But never mind that — I’ve got to get out of here!’
‘Come on, let’s get outta here!’ someone else yelled. ‘We’ve got better things to do than to watch this stupid carry-on!’
Selby bobbed and ducked his way through flying fruit and then skidded on egg-slime until he was safely back behind the curtain.
‘Oh, you poor darling,’ Mrs Trifle said, helping Selby off with the clothes and giving him a cuddle. ‘It wasn’t you they were angry at — it was the clothes.’
‘They have gone crazies!’ the designer cried, peeking out into the emptying hall.
‘I think they’re just not ready for your designs,’ Mrs Trifle said, trying to be as polite as possible.
‘Ready for them —? They
hate
them!’ the man squealed. ‘Everybody in Bulbousville so shocked! Angry! Is so different for them! Is wonderful! Is beautiful! This will be hugest success of Massimo Panni! Thank you, thank you, doggie,’ he said, patting Selby.
‘But Mr Panni,’ Mrs Trifle said, ‘why are you so happy?’
‘Mrs Mayor, please, you don’t understand. Nobody buy my clothez in my shows.’
‘They don’t?’
‘No, no. They too expensive. And they very weird like theez doggie clothez. Nobody want them. But is good everybody get so angry and shock. Now everybody in the world see food-throwing on TV.’
‘But why is that good?’ Mrs Trifle asked.
‘Because now they remember name of Massimo Panni. Then they buy Massimo Panni underpantez. Is good, no?’
‘But, Mr Panni, why would anyone want to buy expensive designer underwear when nobody’s going to see it?’
‘Is true. I don’t know why but people buy lots and lots of Panni Panties and Massimo is very very wealthy man. Goodbye, Mrs Mayor,’ he said, kissing her hand. ‘Thank you for everything so much.’
‘It’s been — well — a pleasure, I guess,’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘Goodbye.’
Selby watched as the designer and his helpers drove away.
‘Oh, well,’ he thought. ‘There goes my last chance to get a decent wardrobe. I guess I’ll just have to walk around naked — like every other dog in the world. It doesn’t seem fair but what can you do?’
* * *
It was winter in Bogusville and Selby lay shivering on the lounge. Only this time instead of reading fashion magazines, he was reading a good book.
Paw note: See the stories ‘Selby Superpooch’ and ‘Selby Spacedog’ in the book
Selby Spacedog
to read about those adventures.
S
SELBY’S STATUE
‘So you want me to make a statue of a dog?’ the sculptor, Sigfried Slapdash, asked Mrs Trifle when he arrived at Bogusville Town Hall.
‘Not just any dog,’ Mrs Trifle explained. ‘A very famous dog. Her name was Bogus and she was the founder of Bogusville. We want a statue of her to put in Bogusville Park.’
‘Excuse me, but did you say that this town was started by a dog? That’s absurd. Dogs can’t start towns — only people can.’
‘Bogus was owned by a man named Brumby Bill about a hundred years ago. He was sick of the city so he moved to the country to look for gold. One day Bogus wandered away from the campsiteand got lost. Brumby Billfinally found her right here. He fell in love with this area, built himself a house, and then he and Bogus just stayed on. Gradually other people moved here and built houses and Brumby Bill named the town Bogusville, after the dog that he loved so much.’
‘Oh, isn’t that a lovely story,’ Selby thought as he lay nearby on the floor, secretly
Similar Books
