Read Online S.E.C.R.E.T.: An Erotic Novel by L. Marie Adeline - Free Book Online
Authors: L. Marie Adeline
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console, above which hung the portrait of Carolina. She opened
the slender top drawer and carefully removed a small purple box. She carried it to
me like it was the most fragile thing on earth. But when she placed it in my hands,
the box felt surprisingly heavy.
“Open it. It’s for you.”
I lifted the velvet top, and under a downy bit of fluff lay a pale gold chain nestled
in silk. It was identical to the one everyone else in the room was wearing. But this
was only a bare chain—no charms were attached.
“It’s mine?”
Matilda lifted it out of the box and fastened it around my trembling wrist.
“For every Step you complete, Cassie, you will receive a gold charm from me commemorating
its completion.This will continue until you have received all nine charms. The tenth charm comes
after you make your choice to stay in S.E.C.R.E.T. or to leave. Are you ready to begin
your adventure?”
The bracelet made it all feel real, its very weight grounding me, making me conscious
of the magnitude of what had just occurred, and what was about to.
“I’m ready.”
I was vibrating from head to toe on my way home, thinking about the task ahead of me.
Matilda had sent me away with the folder and told me it included nine pages, one page
per fantasy. I was supposed to fill these out right away and call Danica as soon as
I was done, presumably so she could send a courier to fetch the papers. The last thing
Matilda said to me was, “As soon as we get those papers, it will all begin. You and
I will speak after every fantasy. But don’t hesitate to call me, for anything, in
between, okay?”
In my apartment I scooped up Dixie and gave her kisses all over her belly. Then I
lit a lot of candles, undressed and soaked in a sweet-smelling bath. All of this was
supposed to help me conjure the best possible fantasy list. I found my favorite pen
and whipped out the first page from my alligator folder. I felt a stirring in me that
I hadn’t felt in years. Matilda had instructed me to lay it bare, to lay out all my
sexual longings. Everything I’d ever wanted to do or try. She told me not to judge,
not to question.
“Don’t get too descriptive, don’t think too much. Just write.” There weren’t rules
for the fantasies, she explained, but the letters in
S.E.C.R.E.T
. represented their criteria, which they took great pains to adhere to. Matilda said
each fantasy must feel:
S afe, in that the participant feels no danger.
E rotic, in that the fantasy is sexual in nature, not just imaginary.
C ompelling, in that the participant truly wants to complete the fantasy.
R omantic, in that the participant feels wanted and desired.
E cstatic, in that the participant experiences joy in the act.
T ransformative, in that something in the participant changes in a fundamental way.
I looked at the acronym again and absently wrote a word beneath each of the first
few letters, something so apt that it made me laugh out loud: S exual E mancipation of C assie R obichaud. For the final E and T all I could think to write was E xciting T imes. This really was happening. To me!
With Dixie circling my ankles and candles flickering on the table, I began by ticking
off the box next to the sentence:
I want to be serviced
. I wasn’t sure what it meant, but I ticked it anyhow. Could it be something about
oral sex? I suggested it once to Scott and he crinkled his nose in a way that shut
down the request forever. I had put away thatlonging in a high drawer, never to be seen again. Or so I thought. There were many
other kinds of sex I’d never had too. I had a college friend who raved about doing
it “the other way,” and it always left me curious. I could never have asked Scott
to try something like that. And I wasn’t even sure if it was something I wanted.
I want to have secret sex, in public
. Another check.
I want to be taken by surprise
. This thrilled me a little, even though, again,
the slender top drawer and carefully removed a small purple box. She carried it to
me like it was the most fragile thing on earth. But when she placed it in my hands,
the box felt surprisingly heavy.
“Open it. It’s for you.”
I lifted the velvet top, and under a downy bit of fluff lay a pale gold chain nestled
in silk. It was identical to the one everyone else in the room was wearing. But this
was only a bare chain—no charms were attached.
“It’s mine?”
Matilda lifted it out of the box and fastened it around my trembling wrist.
“For every Step you complete, Cassie, you will receive a gold charm from me commemorating
its completion.This will continue until you have received all nine charms. The tenth charm comes
after you make your choice to stay in S.E.C.R.E.T. or to leave. Are you ready to begin
your adventure?”
The bracelet made it all feel real, its very weight grounding me, making me conscious
of the magnitude of what had just occurred, and what was about to.
“I’m ready.”
I was vibrating from head to toe on my way home, thinking about the task ahead of me.
Matilda had sent me away with the folder and told me it included nine pages, one page
per fantasy. I was supposed to fill these out right away and call Danica as soon as
I was done, presumably so she could send a courier to fetch the papers. The last thing
Matilda said to me was, “As soon as we get those papers, it will all begin. You and
I will speak after every fantasy. But don’t hesitate to call me, for anything, in
between, okay?”
In my apartment I scooped up Dixie and gave her kisses all over her belly. Then I
lit a lot of candles, undressed and soaked in a sweet-smelling bath. All of this was
supposed to help me conjure the best possible fantasy list. I found my favorite pen
and whipped out the first page from my alligator folder. I felt a stirring in me that
I hadn’t felt in years. Matilda had instructed me to lay it bare, to lay out all my
sexual longings. Everything I’d ever wanted to do or try. She told me not to judge,
not to question.
“Don’t get too descriptive, don’t think too much. Just write.” There weren’t rules
for the fantasies, she explained, but the letters in
S.E.C.R.E.T
. represented their criteria, which they took great pains to adhere to. Matilda said
each fantasy must feel:
S afe, in that the participant feels no danger.
E rotic, in that the fantasy is sexual in nature, not just imaginary.
C ompelling, in that the participant truly wants to complete the fantasy.
R omantic, in that the participant feels wanted and desired.
E cstatic, in that the participant experiences joy in the act.
T ransformative, in that something in the participant changes in a fundamental way.
I looked at the acronym again and absently wrote a word beneath each of the first
few letters, something so apt that it made me laugh out loud: S exual E mancipation of C assie R obichaud. For the final E and T all I could think to write was E xciting T imes. This really was happening. To me!
With Dixie circling my ankles and candles flickering on the table, I began by ticking
off the box next to the sentence:
I want to be serviced
. I wasn’t sure what it meant, but I ticked it anyhow. Could it be something about
oral sex? I suggested it once to Scott and he crinkled his nose in a way that shut
down the request forever. I had put away thatlonging in a high drawer, never to be seen again. Or so I thought. There were many
other kinds of sex I’d never had too. I had a college friend who raved about doing
it “the other way,” and it always left me curious. I could never have asked Scott
to try something like that. And I wasn’t even sure if it was something I wanted.
I want to have secret sex, in public
. Another check.
I want to be taken by surprise
. This thrilled me a little, even though, again,
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