though, almost as if a light had gone out.
Before his graduation, we had spent most of the year together, as friends, but together in some sort of capacity. He had started tutoring me in the middle of the fall semester when it was fairly obvious I was going to fail without help. I had known him in passing before then, but who hadn’t? He was a hot-shot basketball player most his college career, and that coupled with his friendly persona had made him the one person everyone wanted to be friends with.
When I went into the Learning Center and found out he had been assigned to me, I was surprised that he even had the time to volunteer. He turned out to be a great help, and after the fall semester ended he stayed on as my unofficial tutor for spring. He and Matthew had met at my mom’s house, when I had thrown Amanda’s 20 th birthday party. Matthew had been between tours at the time, and they had befriended each other almost instantly. It seemed my whole family had been smitten with Josh. Even my mom always subtly asked if anything was going on between us, and mentioned what a great son-in-law he’d make to someone someday.
As the semester came to an end, there were times when I thought something more might be possible between Josh and me. We were spending all of our free time together doing everything and anything. He had become a permanent fixture in my life, and on the night of his graduation party, I kissed him.
It had been just hours after that picture was taken, when the last guest had gone home. We were lying flat on our backs on the old trampoline my mom kept in the backyard, talking about the different places he had put in job applications to. It was pitch black outside, the only light coming from the kitchen window.
As we talked, his fingers brushed against mine several times until we finally entwined them together. We continued the conversation normally, but I was sure he could hear my heart pounding in my chest.
“Josh, why don’t you call me Maddie like everyone else?” I whispered quietly, my hand still in his.
“Because Madelyn suits you so much more than Maddie,” he replied simply. He turned his head to look at me for a moment before staring back up at the sky.
“You’re Maddie for everyone, and Maddie is sweet, caring, funny, and cute. But when it’s just the two of us you’re Madelyn, and Madelyn is sassy, beautiful, smart, and irresistible. Besides, I like being the only one who calls you that.”
My breathing caught in my throat, and after a few minutes of silence, I propped myself up on my side. As he turned to look at me, I moved in close and kissed him. For a couple of heartbeats he didn’t react, but then suddenly he kissed me back.
Without separating our lips, he sat up and pulled me so I was sideways in his lap. His fingers tangled into my hair, holding me to him. His tongue gently moved along my lips, and when I parted them I let my own tongue meld against his, slowly and sensually. When we finally parted, his eyes were glassy, and my breathing was erratic. Josh just kissed the tip of my nose, and hugged me to his chest. We didn’t talk about it that night, but the glances and smiles we shared before he went home told me that maybe we could talk about it the next day.
We didn’t.
He had text me the next morning that he had to drive home to San Diego because of a family emergency, and that he’d text or call as soon as he could. Apparently he never could because until that night at the club I hadn’t heard from him since. Texts were never replied to, phone calls never answered, and at some point his cell phone was disconnected.
It had been the most amazing kiss I’d ever had, and then he’d disappeared. I wasn’t exactly inexperienced in the kiss department, having dated boys during my high school and college years, and even losing my virginity to my boyfriend my senior year. But something about the kiss I shared with Josh made all the stuff I had experienced before
Before his graduation, we had spent most of the year together, as friends, but together in some sort of capacity. He had started tutoring me in the middle of the fall semester when it was fairly obvious I was going to fail without help. I had known him in passing before then, but who hadn’t? He was a hot-shot basketball player most his college career, and that coupled with his friendly persona had made him the one person everyone wanted to be friends with.
When I went into the Learning Center and found out he had been assigned to me, I was surprised that he even had the time to volunteer. He turned out to be a great help, and after the fall semester ended he stayed on as my unofficial tutor for spring. He and Matthew had met at my mom’s house, when I had thrown Amanda’s 20 th birthday party. Matthew had been between tours at the time, and they had befriended each other almost instantly. It seemed my whole family had been smitten with Josh. Even my mom always subtly asked if anything was going on between us, and mentioned what a great son-in-law he’d make to someone someday.
As the semester came to an end, there were times when I thought something more might be possible between Josh and me. We were spending all of our free time together doing everything and anything. He had become a permanent fixture in my life, and on the night of his graduation party, I kissed him.
It had been just hours after that picture was taken, when the last guest had gone home. We were lying flat on our backs on the old trampoline my mom kept in the backyard, talking about the different places he had put in job applications to. It was pitch black outside, the only light coming from the kitchen window.
As we talked, his fingers brushed against mine several times until we finally entwined them together. We continued the conversation normally, but I was sure he could hear my heart pounding in my chest.
“Josh, why don’t you call me Maddie like everyone else?” I whispered quietly, my hand still in his.
“Because Madelyn suits you so much more than Maddie,” he replied simply. He turned his head to look at me for a moment before staring back up at the sky.
“You’re Maddie for everyone, and Maddie is sweet, caring, funny, and cute. But when it’s just the two of us you’re Madelyn, and Madelyn is sassy, beautiful, smart, and irresistible. Besides, I like being the only one who calls you that.”
My breathing caught in my throat, and after a few minutes of silence, I propped myself up on my side. As he turned to look at me, I moved in close and kissed him. For a couple of heartbeats he didn’t react, but then suddenly he kissed me back.
Without separating our lips, he sat up and pulled me so I was sideways in his lap. His fingers tangled into my hair, holding me to him. His tongue gently moved along my lips, and when I parted them I let my own tongue meld against his, slowly and sensually. When we finally parted, his eyes were glassy, and my breathing was erratic. Josh just kissed the tip of my nose, and hugged me to his chest. We didn’t talk about it that night, but the glances and smiles we shared before he went home told me that maybe we could talk about it the next day.
We didn’t.
He had text me the next morning that he had to drive home to San Diego because of a family emergency, and that he’d text or call as soon as he could. Apparently he never could because until that night at the club I hadn’t heard from him since. Texts were never replied to, phone calls never answered, and at some point his cell phone was disconnected.
It had been the most amazing kiss I’d ever had, and then he’d disappeared. I wasn’t exactly inexperienced in the kiss department, having dated boys during my high school and college years, and even losing my virginity to my boyfriend my senior year. But something about the kiss I shared with Josh made all the stuff I had experienced before
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