Read Online Say You’re One Of Them by Uwem Akpan - Free Book Online Page A

“Oh yes, you two
dey
lucky to have godparents, you know.”
    “From Braffe?” Yewa asked. “When did they come?”
    “
Non, pas comme ça,
” Fofo giggled. “Ah, no, you no know dese ones.”
    “Does Big Guy know them?” she asked. “I want to dance with Big Guy. He can go with us to Braffe and teach Ezin, Esse, and Idossou to dance
makossa.
You promised to take us to Braffe.”
    “We go go dere . . . for sure. But I want introduce you to your godparents first. Dat man and woman done give us many many tings. Nanfang. Sony. Drugs for your parents. Uncountable tings.
Onú lo˙pa lo˙pa lé
. Your parents like dem
beaucoup.
Your godparents want help our whole family, beginning wid your education. . . . We be deir adoptees.
Comprenez
de meaning of
adoptee?
”
    “No,” we said.
    “When stranger come take a child like him own . . .
Mais,
listen
o,
we must tell people de godparents be our real relatives
o.
”
    “Our relatives?” I asked.
    “You lie, Fofo,” Yewa said. “You go go hell. You lie.”
    “Oh, young people, you no
dey
understand de Bible!” he exclaimed. “I know say dis one go hard to explain. Dat’s why I no boder to shower or
na yi changer nú se lé
before talking to you. If you tell a good good lie, you no go enter hell. Only de bad lies go put you for hell,
mes enfants
. As your Sunday-school teacher
dey
teach
una,
in Genesis twelve, ten to sixteen, Abraham, de fader of faith
meme-lui,
come tell de Egyptians good lie dat his wife Sarah be his sister to spare his life. Also, Jacob and Rebekah come deceive Isaac to claim Esau’s inheritance in Genesis twenty-seven, one to tirty-tree, remember?”
    “Please, Fofo, tell us that story again,” Yewa pleaded as we drew closer to him. “Tell us about Abraham . . .”
    “Quiet! No distract me
o,
” he snapped. “Just
dey
listen now because I
dey
preach.”
    “Yes, Fofo,” she said.
    “And
dans la Nouvelle Testament,
” he continued with renewed fervor, “make you no forget how de tree wise men come trick Herod to save de Baby Jesus in Matthew two, tree to sixteen. So like dese Bible people, we must protect our fortune. We must say dat your godparents be our relatives; oderwise, people go start to bring deir own children to dem or start being jealous. . . .
Vous comprenez un peu, oui?
”
    “Yes, we understand,” we said.
    “In any case, your godparents want it like dat. You two go understand well well when you grow up. My children, dis world
est dangereux.
Make you no trust anybody
o.
No tell anybody about our blessings,
d’accord?
Or you want make armed robbers come visit us from Lagos? You want make dem spoil
am
for us?”
    “No, no, Fofo.”
    We shook our heads.
    “Very good, den, my children. . . . Because of dis family meeting, I quick come from work. I want tell
una
de whole trud about everyting,
d’accord?
”
    “OK.”
    “Your godparents are NGO people.”
    “NGO?” I asked.
    “Yes, NGO people,” he repeated. “Nongovermental organization . . . repeat after me . . .”
    “Nongovernmental organization,” we said.
    “
Encore?
”
    “Nongovernmental organization.”
    “
Bon! Très bien! C’est une groupe
of people who
dey
help poor children all over de world. NGO are good people and travel
partout.
”
    He smiled at us and looked as relieved as one who has broken a piece of difficult news. He stood up and took off his clothes, beginning with his cowboy boots, then his blue suit. He put on his shorts.
    He was the best-dressed Nanfang motorcyclist I had ever met. Since we had become richer, he went to work in
okrika
suits and shoes from Europe, which he bought in the open market that surrounded the no-man’s-land. There was an unkempt look to him because the clothes were rumpled, and we had no iron or electricity yet. We had new school uniforms, and when he rode us to school in the morning, we looked smart and well fed. And our classmates wanted to hear about our “abroad” parents.
    “Is that why you said