words were inevitable they still managed to tie a knot around my heart. “Please reconsider accepting some form of support,” he continued, almost pleaded – his voice dripping with what sounded like concern.
I shook my head defiantly.
I had coped for this long and I could do it again. Besides, with nothing better to do than stare at these drab walls for nine days I had occupied myself by making plans. I was going to keep my head down at home and find a job. I didn’t care what or how much it paid – I would do anything and live anywhere. I crashed straight through the stone at rock bottom the night I ended up in here so surely the only way was up?
“I’ll be fine, Richard.” I was comfortable saying his name now. “I’ve got plans.”
I looked up to study his delectable face and his brow was furrowed. He was vigorously rubbing his left forearm with his tense right hand and he looked like he was frustrated. With me? Why? His reaction puzzled me and I snapped.
“Look, you’ve done your bit now. You’ve fixed me up – made me better. Why are you so bothered what happens to me?”
His emerald eyes widened. He looked surprised – maybe even a little pissed. After pausing for a few long seconds he dragged in a deep, preparing breath and opened his mouth to speak. His eyes burrowed intently into mine. My heart began to stutter as if I was expecting to hear something magical.
“I’m your doctor. It’s my duty to care,” he finally responded. The words twisted around my heart, crushing it. I think it would have hurt less if he’d kicked me in the stomach.
What did you want him to say? That he loves you? Stupid bitch, my sarcastic, pain in the ass subconscious piped up.
I had foolishly conceived some kind of bond between us and reality had just punched me in the face. He was my doctor and I was his patient… period. My cheeks burnt with embarrassment and suddenly I was eager to escape – desperate to leave this dreary room and desperate to leave him and the nonsensical fascination I’d developed behind.
**********
It was early evening and I could hear my dad’s voice outside my room – he was here to pick me up. I refused to succumb to the fear beginning to simmer deep in my belly so I stretched my neck, defiantly held my head up high and reached for the door.
He was standing in front of me flattering a receptionist.
“Let’s get you home,” he said tenderly, under the glare of his sadistic eyes.
The timid red-haired clerk thrust some papers in front of me and I signed them without bothering to read what they were. I hadn’t seen Richard since this morning and despite telling myself that was a good thing, I still found my eyes wondering the corridor in search of him.
As we exited the hospital I scanned the grounds of the building one last time. I sighed disappointedly. He may well only be my doctor but surely a goodbye wasn’t beyond his code of duty ?
“Get in,” my dad ordered, snapping my eyes from their unsuccessful search. Reluctantly, I clambered in to the back seat of his silver Jag, stuffed the bag of meds I had no plans to take into my belongings bag and then rested my head against the window, closing my eyes.
The engine vibrated through the glass, tickling my cheek and momentarily making me forget where I was and who I was with. I was pulled back into reality when the car halted with a jolt. We were here. I was… home.
My dad got out first and marched straight to the house without so much as a glance in my direction. I climbed out hesitantly – my back still a little tender – and trailed tautly behind him.
Walking into the regrettably familiar atmosphere slammed into my body like a brick wall the second I crossed the threshold. My mom was stood timidly in the doorway of the living room, knotting her trembling fingers. I could tell she was about an hour away from the vomiting stage. My dad shoved past her, making his way to the kitchen.
“Amelia,” she greeted in a
I shook my head defiantly.
I had coped for this long and I could do it again. Besides, with nothing better to do than stare at these drab walls for nine days I had occupied myself by making plans. I was going to keep my head down at home and find a job. I didn’t care what or how much it paid – I would do anything and live anywhere. I crashed straight through the stone at rock bottom the night I ended up in here so surely the only way was up?
“I’ll be fine, Richard.” I was comfortable saying his name now. “I’ve got plans.”
I looked up to study his delectable face and his brow was furrowed. He was vigorously rubbing his left forearm with his tense right hand and he looked like he was frustrated. With me? Why? His reaction puzzled me and I snapped.
“Look, you’ve done your bit now. You’ve fixed me up – made me better. Why are you so bothered what happens to me?”
His emerald eyes widened. He looked surprised – maybe even a little pissed. After pausing for a few long seconds he dragged in a deep, preparing breath and opened his mouth to speak. His eyes burrowed intently into mine. My heart began to stutter as if I was expecting to hear something magical.
“I’m your doctor. It’s my duty to care,” he finally responded. The words twisted around my heart, crushing it. I think it would have hurt less if he’d kicked me in the stomach.
What did you want him to say? That he loves you? Stupid bitch, my sarcastic, pain in the ass subconscious piped up.
I had foolishly conceived some kind of bond between us and reality had just punched me in the face. He was my doctor and I was his patient… period. My cheeks burnt with embarrassment and suddenly I was eager to escape – desperate to leave this dreary room and desperate to leave him and the nonsensical fascination I’d developed behind.
**********
It was early evening and I could hear my dad’s voice outside my room – he was here to pick me up. I refused to succumb to the fear beginning to simmer deep in my belly so I stretched my neck, defiantly held my head up high and reached for the door.
He was standing in front of me flattering a receptionist.
“Let’s get you home,” he said tenderly, under the glare of his sadistic eyes.
The timid red-haired clerk thrust some papers in front of me and I signed them without bothering to read what they were. I hadn’t seen Richard since this morning and despite telling myself that was a good thing, I still found my eyes wondering the corridor in search of him.
As we exited the hospital I scanned the grounds of the building one last time. I sighed disappointedly. He may well only be my doctor but surely a goodbye wasn’t beyond his code of duty ?
“Get in,” my dad ordered, snapping my eyes from their unsuccessful search. Reluctantly, I clambered in to the back seat of his silver Jag, stuffed the bag of meds I had no plans to take into my belongings bag and then rested my head against the window, closing my eyes.
The engine vibrated through the glass, tickling my cheek and momentarily making me forget where I was and who I was with. I was pulled back into reality when the car halted with a jolt. We were here. I was… home.
My dad got out first and marched straight to the house without so much as a glance in my direction. I climbed out hesitantly – my back still a little tender – and trailed tautly behind him.
Walking into the regrettably familiar atmosphere slammed into my body like a brick wall the second I crossed the threshold. My mom was stood timidly in the doorway of the living room, knotting her trembling fingers. I could tell she was about an hour away from the vomiting stage. My dad shoved past her, making his way to the kitchen.
“Amelia,” she greeted in a
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