anyone you’d save instead of Rita?”
“Hannah.”
“Who’s Hannah?”
“Ben Fogarty’s sister.” Ben was in our class.
“Why would you save her?”
“Did you ever see her? You’d save her if you saw her.”
“Are you in love with Hannah?”
“I don’t
believe
in love.”
“What do you mean, you don’t believe in love? Do you think when people say they’re in love they don’t feel the things they think they feel?”
“Wha?”
“You’re just being dumb.”
“So what is love?”
“It’s more than wanting to screw someone. It’s wanting to be with them, listen to them, think about them. You treasure everything about them, a shoe, a handkerchief.”
“Snot.”
“What’s not?”
“Snot, snot,” he said and wiped his nose with the back of his hand.
“Oh, come on!”
“So what’s love good for?”
“People in love are exalted.”
He took a puff.
I took a puff and decided to tell him about Zina. As soon as he heard the name he chanted, “Zin-
a
! Hann-
ah
! Rit-
a
!” and we broke up. We staggered into the water to cool off. Hillyer fell down, and we broke up again.
A trip to the end of the Point included a walk on the Rocks. The Rocks were the jetty the Army Engineers built with blocks of trap rock dynamited from cliffs on the mainland. The blocks were as much as seven feet across. You could see drill marks where charges had been set to sever them. The Engineers got the blocks in place on a smallgauge railroad they constructed on a trestle beside the jetty site. You could still see railroad pilings sticking out of the water. After a rough tide or heavy rain the algae on the Rocks swelled with water and made them slippery. You were always hearing how a fisherman from the mainland had lost his footing and drowned. The only way to walk the Rocks, wet or dry, was the way we were walking, barefoot. Strong prehensile toes helped. This day the Rocks were hot and dry. The algae lay flat and sticky and actually gave us an extra purchase.
But even dry the Rocks could be dangerous. There was a section near the end called Three Rock Edge, where theblocks had been awkwardly fitted. They presented edges up rather than horizontal planes. To get over, you had to straddle the edges and walk spread-eagle. My first time on Three Rock Edge, Father went before me, walking backwards to show me how to do it. Instead of walking, I sat on the edge, legs on either side, and inched across. I thought Father would be disappointed with me, but he squeezed my shoulder. On the way back I walked it upright. I was eight that summer.
Now when we reached Three Rock Edge I couldn’t coax Hillyer across. It occurred to me that for some reason Hillyer’s caution was connected with his denial of love. It also occurred to me that he didn’t have a father like mine. Blackheart never tried to get across Three Rock Edge. He would take up a position on the last flat rock and whine until I came back. Today he was pleased to have another coward for company.
At supper Hillyer asked Father if he believed in love and then included Mother, “Ma’am?”
“Romantic love?” Father said.
“Yes, sir.”
“Why do you ask?”
I think Father thought this was the beginning of one of Hillyer’s routines.
“Because Michael does, and I don’t.”
“Are you asking if I believe in its existence or if I recommend it?”
“Both, sir.”
“Many people claim to have experienced it.”
“Have you, sir?”
“Hillyer, my good wife is here beside me. If I had never felt it could I say so? On the other hand, if I had felt it often could I say that? But the answer is yes, of course.”
Father looked disappointed that nothing developed from the exchange. Apparently Hillyer really wanted to know what Father thought.
After the meal Father picked up a book and lay down on a couch. Hillyer said he would do the dishes. Mother said he could only dry. I wandered with Blackheart down to the water’s edge. I always checked the
“Hannah.”
“Who’s Hannah?”
“Ben Fogarty’s sister.” Ben was in our class.
“Why would you save her?”
“Did you ever see her? You’d save her if you saw her.”
“Are you in love with Hannah?”
“I don’t
believe
in love.”
“What do you mean, you don’t believe in love? Do you think when people say they’re in love they don’t feel the things they think they feel?”
“Wha?”
“You’re just being dumb.”
“So what is love?”
“It’s more than wanting to screw someone. It’s wanting to be with them, listen to them, think about them. You treasure everything about them, a shoe, a handkerchief.”
“Snot.”
“What’s not?”
“Snot, snot,” he said and wiped his nose with the back of his hand.
“Oh, come on!”
“So what’s love good for?”
“People in love are exalted.”
He took a puff.
I took a puff and decided to tell him about Zina. As soon as he heard the name he chanted, “Zin-
a
! Hann-
ah
! Rit-
a
!” and we broke up. We staggered into the water to cool off. Hillyer fell down, and we broke up again.
A trip to the end of the Point included a walk on the Rocks. The Rocks were the jetty the Army Engineers built with blocks of trap rock dynamited from cliffs on the mainland. The blocks were as much as seven feet across. You could see drill marks where charges had been set to sever them. The Engineers got the blocks in place on a smallgauge railroad they constructed on a trestle beside the jetty site. You could still see railroad pilings sticking out of the water. After a rough tide or heavy rain the algae on the Rocks swelled with water and made them slippery. You were always hearing how a fisherman from the mainland had lost his footing and drowned. The only way to walk the Rocks, wet or dry, was the way we were walking, barefoot. Strong prehensile toes helped. This day the Rocks were hot and dry. The algae lay flat and sticky and actually gave us an extra purchase.
But even dry the Rocks could be dangerous. There was a section near the end called Three Rock Edge, where theblocks had been awkwardly fitted. They presented edges up rather than horizontal planes. To get over, you had to straddle the edges and walk spread-eagle. My first time on Three Rock Edge, Father went before me, walking backwards to show me how to do it. Instead of walking, I sat on the edge, legs on either side, and inched across. I thought Father would be disappointed with me, but he squeezed my shoulder. On the way back I walked it upright. I was eight that summer.
Now when we reached Three Rock Edge I couldn’t coax Hillyer across. It occurred to me that for some reason Hillyer’s caution was connected with his denial of love. It also occurred to me that he didn’t have a father like mine. Blackheart never tried to get across Three Rock Edge. He would take up a position on the last flat rock and whine until I came back. Today he was pleased to have another coward for company.
At supper Hillyer asked Father if he believed in love and then included Mother, “Ma’am?”
“Romantic love?” Father said.
“Yes, sir.”
“Why do you ask?”
I think Father thought this was the beginning of one of Hillyer’s routines.
“Because Michael does, and I don’t.”
“Are you asking if I believe in its existence or if I recommend it?”
“Both, sir.”
“Many people claim to have experienced it.”
“Have you, sir?”
“Hillyer, my good wife is here beside me. If I had never felt it could I say so? On the other hand, if I had felt it often could I say that? But the answer is yes, of course.”
Father looked disappointed that nothing developed from the exchange. Apparently Hillyer really wanted to know what Father thought.
After the meal Father picked up a book and lay down on a couch. Hillyer said he would do the dishes. Mother said he could only dry. I wandered with Blackheart down to the water’s edge. I always checked the
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