preternatural calm. I walked her to the driver’s side of her little compact and used her scraper to clear her windows while she let the engine warm up. I rapped on the glass to pass the scraper in to her.
“Let him take care of you tonight,” she instructed. “We both need some TLC. If your demons get ugly, you know you can call me, no matter what.”
I said nothing, getting into my car after she’d vacated the adjacent space. My mind a whir of details, concentration on the road, and the plan of attack I had for the morning, I didn’t once think about Lane on the way home.
§§§
I LAY on my side, arm snaked under the pillows beneath my cheek, focused beyond the sliding glass door to the night beyond. It was eerie, how bright it was due to the white powder coating everything. I watched it pile up, listening to Ben breathe steadily beside me. Without thinking, I plucked his hand off my hip and pulled his arm across my chest, snuggling into him as the little spoon.
A killer was out there. Why had he done it? What purpose had it served? Did he feel better about his actions, or worse? Was he riddled with guilt or feeling smug to have pulled it off? Or was he scared? Was he looking over his shoulder, even now, wondering if someone was coming for him?
I’m coming for you. I will find you.
For what felt like the hundredth time that night, I willed my eyelids to droop, for sleep to take me, but it remained elusive. The snow swirling against the glass patio doors seemed to cheerfully mock me with their jaunty swirls, a party in the air just beyond the warmth of my cocoon.
“Shut the fuck up, snow,” I murmured. A chuckle sounded behind me followed by the tightening of the arm across my chest. My breath hitched and Ben immediately released me. I grabbed his arm, stalling its retreat. After a moment, he resumed his hold.
“Go to sleep, Gav.”
“I’d love to,” I grumbled.
“Everything okay?”
I stared for a moment longer at the white outdoors, then turned to face him, pulling the thick down comforter over my shoulder, blocking out the ambient light.
“I just can’t shut my brain up.”
His profile was a shadow peeking over the edge of the comforter. “Anything I can do?” He trailed his hand along my hip in short, soothing strokes.
“You can make me go to sleep.”
That got his attention, and I saw one of his eyebrows rise in the dimness. He stared at me as though he was wondering what it was I was asking for. He knew, though. He was no fool.
“Come here,” he ordered. His voice may have been quiet, but it wasn’t soft. It meant business, velvet wrapped around steel. “Scoot closer.”
I complied, responding instinctively. He flattened to his back and maneuvered me into the crook of his arm, my head on his left pec. His hand linked in mine and pulled it across his waist, and he hooked my top leg over his with his foot. His other hand carded through the hair at my temple.
“Focus on your breathing,” he commanded. “Feel the air rush in and rush out. Feel your lungs expand and contract. Oxygen trading for carbon dioxide. Feel the warmth of my skin seep into you. Listen to the beat of my heart.”
My restless mind slowed, surrendering with the merest whimper, unable to ignore his instructions.
“You are mine, Gavin. I’m here for you, and you belong to me.” A shiver pranced up my torso, shaking my limbs. He tightened the fingers holding my hand. He rhythmically tugged my hair in counterpoint to the beating of his heart. Tha-thump, tug, tha-thump, tug. I gave up the tension in my shoulders, my muscles becoming compliant to both his touch and his command.
“I don’t want you tired tomorrow. You have a tough day ahead, and no sleep will make it worse. So right now, last chance to relax. Flex your feet.” I pointed my toes, then relaxed them. “Now your calves.” I did, then let go. “Thighs and butt.” He tugged on my hair a little harder when I snickered. I still did what he
“Let him take care of you tonight,” she instructed. “We both need some TLC. If your demons get ugly, you know you can call me, no matter what.”
I said nothing, getting into my car after she’d vacated the adjacent space. My mind a whir of details, concentration on the road, and the plan of attack I had for the morning, I didn’t once think about Lane on the way home.
§§§
I LAY on my side, arm snaked under the pillows beneath my cheek, focused beyond the sliding glass door to the night beyond. It was eerie, how bright it was due to the white powder coating everything. I watched it pile up, listening to Ben breathe steadily beside me. Without thinking, I plucked his hand off my hip and pulled his arm across my chest, snuggling into him as the little spoon.
A killer was out there. Why had he done it? What purpose had it served? Did he feel better about his actions, or worse? Was he riddled with guilt or feeling smug to have pulled it off? Or was he scared? Was he looking over his shoulder, even now, wondering if someone was coming for him?
I’m coming for you. I will find you.
For what felt like the hundredth time that night, I willed my eyelids to droop, for sleep to take me, but it remained elusive. The snow swirling against the glass patio doors seemed to cheerfully mock me with their jaunty swirls, a party in the air just beyond the warmth of my cocoon.
“Shut the fuck up, snow,” I murmured. A chuckle sounded behind me followed by the tightening of the arm across my chest. My breath hitched and Ben immediately released me. I grabbed his arm, stalling its retreat. After a moment, he resumed his hold.
“Go to sleep, Gav.”
“I’d love to,” I grumbled.
“Everything okay?”
I stared for a moment longer at the white outdoors, then turned to face him, pulling the thick down comforter over my shoulder, blocking out the ambient light.
“I just can’t shut my brain up.”
His profile was a shadow peeking over the edge of the comforter. “Anything I can do?” He trailed his hand along my hip in short, soothing strokes.
“You can make me go to sleep.”
That got his attention, and I saw one of his eyebrows rise in the dimness. He stared at me as though he was wondering what it was I was asking for. He knew, though. He was no fool.
“Come here,” he ordered. His voice may have been quiet, but it wasn’t soft. It meant business, velvet wrapped around steel. “Scoot closer.”
I complied, responding instinctively. He flattened to his back and maneuvered me into the crook of his arm, my head on his left pec. His hand linked in mine and pulled it across his waist, and he hooked my top leg over his with his foot. His other hand carded through the hair at my temple.
“Focus on your breathing,” he commanded. “Feel the air rush in and rush out. Feel your lungs expand and contract. Oxygen trading for carbon dioxide. Feel the warmth of my skin seep into you. Listen to the beat of my heart.”
My restless mind slowed, surrendering with the merest whimper, unable to ignore his instructions.
“You are mine, Gavin. I’m here for you, and you belong to me.” A shiver pranced up my torso, shaking my limbs. He tightened the fingers holding my hand. He rhythmically tugged my hair in counterpoint to the beating of his heart. Tha-thump, tug, tha-thump, tug. I gave up the tension in my shoulders, my muscles becoming compliant to both his touch and his command.
“I don’t want you tired tomorrow. You have a tough day ahead, and no sleep will make it worse. So right now, last chance to relax. Flex your feet.” I pointed my toes, then relaxed them. “Now your calves.” I did, then let go. “Thighs and butt.” He tugged on my hair a little harder when I snickered. I still did what he
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