really sorry. I’m just not feeling very well. I’ll get something good for you right away.
Before Moira’s traffic admonition, I had considered telling her about our prolific little hater. Chick Habit is her baby, after all, so she’d probably want to do something about the site. But I’m now so nervous about finding a blockbuster post that I’m no longer in the mood to confess to Moira. She’d probably just admonish me for being a pussy and say something about needing a stiff upper lip if I want to succeed at this job. So instead I shove my concerns about BTCH down into the bottom of my churning stomach. I need to find something to write about before I can run out to the bodega and get the world’s greatest hangover remedy—bacon, egg, and cheese on a roll.
I have bacon on the brain as I refresh refresh refresh my RSS feed. Nothing doing. I scroll down through Twitter to see if anyone is talking about anything post-worthy. All anyone seems to be discussing is a new Lady Gaga single, which Rel already posted about two hours ago. I turn to my Facebook wall—this is a last resort. Peter’s mom has just posted photos from her bridge club’s road trip to Fort Ticonderoga. There’s a post from Jay, my sincere med student friend from college, who “likes” a story from the Times about the rising costs of health care in America. I also see that some super-lefty girl—I think from college, but I don’t recognize her name—has posted a similarly useless article about the secret links between BP oil and American Apparel, or BP oil and Whole Foods, or BP oil and puppies. I don’t bother clicking through to find out which it is.
Since nothing good is popping up, I decide to stall a bit by posting a quick link to a study that shows if you loved chocolate as a kid you will be more likely to be an alcoholic as an adult. You know, because of science. I file to Moira in a mere ten minutes. I realize I haven’t IMed with Tina yet today, and so I decided to message her.
Alex182 (12:13:04): Hey! I finally looked at the hate site. They’re pretty harsh, but I think that pic of you from high school is kind of cute :)
TheSevAbides (12:13:38): It’s not.
Alex182 (12:13:44): Well compared to the other crap on there it’s pretty mild.
TheSevAbides (12:14:25): I guess.
TheSevAbides (12:14:39): By the way, why did you post about the Tallahassee Ten?
Alex182 (12:15:11): I thought the video was good and I had an angle on it.
TheSevAbides (12:15:42): That was my story. I posted on it before.
Alex182 (12:16:18): Sorry. I didn’t mean to step on your toes.
TheSevAbides (12:17:32): This isn’t the first time this has happened. You should watch yourself.
Shit. The last thing I wanted to do was piss Tina off after our breakthrough last night. I try to change the subject back to BTCH.
Alex182 (12:18:20): I’m really sorry. It won’t happen again.
Alex182 (12:18:25): Did you find out any of that IP stuff yet?
TheSevAbides (12:20:29): I’m actually super busy right now.
Alex182 (12:21:39): Sorry. Talk later.
Tina’s coldness and Moira’s pressure and BTCH are all adding up to an oppressive weight perched on top of my chest, and I begin to feel like I might vomit. Again.
Prettyinpink86 (12:23:19): Do you need me to help you with anything? Moira says you’re having a rough time today ;)
I want to say to Molly, You shove that winky-face emoticon where the sun don’t shine. Instead I type:
Alex182 (12:24:22): I’m fine, thanks for asking. I don’t need any help.
What I do need is to satisfy my bacon jones. I’ll feel less crazy if I eat something, I figure, since I haven’t had anything to eat since my salad of the day before. And so I run across the street, clutching my iPhone.
The air inside the bodega is cool and calming. It smells like a combination of Café Bustelo and the slightly wilted dahlias sitting in buckets near the register. I am
Before Moira’s traffic admonition, I had considered telling her about our prolific little hater. Chick Habit is her baby, after all, so she’d probably want to do something about the site. But I’m now so nervous about finding a blockbuster post that I’m no longer in the mood to confess to Moira. She’d probably just admonish me for being a pussy and say something about needing a stiff upper lip if I want to succeed at this job. So instead I shove my concerns about BTCH down into the bottom of my churning stomach. I need to find something to write about before I can run out to the bodega and get the world’s greatest hangover remedy—bacon, egg, and cheese on a roll.
I have bacon on the brain as I refresh refresh refresh my RSS feed. Nothing doing. I scroll down through Twitter to see if anyone is talking about anything post-worthy. All anyone seems to be discussing is a new Lady Gaga single, which Rel already posted about two hours ago. I turn to my Facebook wall—this is a last resort. Peter’s mom has just posted photos from her bridge club’s road trip to Fort Ticonderoga. There’s a post from Jay, my sincere med student friend from college, who “likes” a story from the Times about the rising costs of health care in America. I also see that some super-lefty girl—I think from college, but I don’t recognize her name—has posted a similarly useless article about the secret links between BP oil and American Apparel, or BP oil and Whole Foods, or BP oil and puppies. I don’t bother clicking through to find out which it is.
Since nothing good is popping up, I decide to stall a bit by posting a quick link to a study that shows if you loved chocolate as a kid you will be more likely to be an alcoholic as an adult. You know, because of science. I file to Moira in a mere ten minutes. I realize I haven’t IMed with Tina yet today, and so I decided to message her.
Alex182 (12:13:04): Hey! I finally looked at the hate site. They’re pretty harsh, but I think that pic of you from high school is kind of cute :)
TheSevAbides (12:13:38): It’s not.
Alex182 (12:13:44): Well compared to the other crap on there it’s pretty mild.
TheSevAbides (12:14:25): I guess.
TheSevAbides (12:14:39): By the way, why did you post about the Tallahassee Ten?
Alex182 (12:15:11): I thought the video was good and I had an angle on it.
TheSevAbides (12:15:42): That was my story. I posted on it before.
Alex182 (12:16:18): Sorry. I didn’t mean to step on your toes.
TheSevAbides (12:17:32): This isn’t the first time this has happened. You should watch yourself.
Shit. The last thing I wanted to do was piss Tina off after our breakthrough last night. I try to change the subject back to BTCH.
Alex182 (12:18:20): I’m really sorry. It won’t happen again.
Alex182 (12:18:25): Did you find out any of that IP stuff yet?
TheSevAbides (12:20:29): I’m actually super busy right now.
Alex182 (12:21:39): Sorry. Talk later.
Tina’s coldness and Moira’s pressure and BTCH are all adding up to an oppressive weight perched on top of my chest, and I begin to feel like I might vomit. Again.
Prettyinpink86 (12:23:19): Do you need me to help you with anything? Moira says you’re having a rough time today ;)
I want to say to Molly, You shove that winky-face emoticon where the sun don’t shine. Instead I type:
Alex182 (12:24:22): I’m fine, thanks for asking. I don’t need any help.
What I do need is to satisfy my bacon jones. I’ll feel less crazy if I eat something, I figure, since I haven’t had anything to eat since my salad of the day before. And so I run across the street, clutching my iPhone.
The air inside the bodega is cool and calming. It smells like a combination of Café Bustelo and the slightly wilted dahlias sitting in buckets near the register. I am
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