go, âPut down that cake and prithee get naked.â
Noted, though Iâm not sure how the sex works with the armor. What was with going outside with your grandma in front of those protesters tonight?
Oh, nothing.
They werenât throwing fruit over nothing.
What are you wearing?
Mia, Iâm serious about this.
Iâm serious, too. The armor has a codpiece. Iâve researched it.
Weâre going to discuss this tomorrow.
Couldnât we discuss it now? I think I need a professional trained in extinguishing fires. Because thereâs one going on in my pants.
I meant weâre going to discuss the protesters.
Before or after the show of shows, story of stories, sights of all sights?
If by that you mean Cirque du Soleil, how would you feel if we skipped that particular tradition this year?
Uh, Michael, you know Grandmère always pays extra for front-row VIP seats.
What if Iâve come up with something better for us to do?
What could be better than a dramatic mix of circus arts and street entertainment performed live under a large tent near New York Cityâs main jail complex? Except of course the aforementioned secret room filled with cake.
Youâll find out tomorrow.
Michael, you know I hate surprises, right?
I think youâll like this one.
I can already guarantee I wonât unless it involves cake and armor.
You really need to do something about that negativity. May I recommend a nice yoga/meditation retreat?
That isnât funny. Just reading the word meditate made my eyelid start twitching more.
Good night! Sweet dreams . . .
He added an emoji heâd made himself of a gorilla with hearts for eyes. Yes, in his spare time from work, my boyfriend designs emojis.
I think Iâm going to have to watch about three more episodes of NCIS before Iâll be able to calm down.
I wish I were a special agent for the Naval Criminal Investigative Service Major Case Response Team and not the princess of a tiny principality on the Mediterranean. Then I could just save the country from terrorist threats over and over, and never have to hear about oranges (or Reiki, or meditation retreats) again.
Three things for which I am grateful:
â¢Â  That Iâve got a TV with streaming Netflix.
â¢Â  Michael.
â¢Â  Tylenol PM. Seriously, Iâm so sleepy right now, I think Iâm . . .
CHAPTER 10
8:37 a.m., Friday, May 1
Third-Floor Apartment
Consulate General of Genovia
New York City
Woke up to 1,479 happy birthday posts, texts, e-mails, and voice mails, several of which are from people I actually know.
This is what happens when you become a public figure. Total strangers wish you happiness on your birthday, which is very, very nice.
But birthday wishes from people who know you (and still care about you, despite being aware of your character flaws) are even nicer.
No sign yet of Michaelâs âbirthday surprise.â
Iâm going to try to be a less suspicious and cynical person now that Iâm a year older and wiser, but I canât say Iâm a fan of surprises. âGuess what, Mia? Youâre the Princess of Genovia.â Thatâs just one example of a surprise Iâve received that turned out not to be so great.
Michaelâs a pretty good present giver, though, so I trust his is going to be better.
And itâs a new year, so Iâm going to spend it taking Paoloâs advice: figuring out how to make these diamond shoes work for me.
The people Iâve heard from so far (that I actually know, though not necessarily intimately) include:
1.   My mom and half brother, Rocky (singing âHappy Birthdayâ together).
This is the first year Iâve heard them without Mr. Gianini accompanying on his drum set. That made me a little sad. But when I called them back (I only spoke to Mom, because sheâd already dropped Rocky off at school), she sounded upbeat. Itâs good that
Noted, though Iâm not sure how the sex works with the armor. What was with going outside with your grandma in front of those protesters tonight?
Oh, nothing.
They werenât throwing fruit over nothing.
What are you wearing?
Mia, Iâm serious about this.
Iâm serious, too. The armor has a codpiece. Iâve researched it.
Weâre going to discuss this tomorrow.
Couldnât we discuss it now? I think I need a professional trained in extinguishing fires. Because thereâs one going on in my pants.
I meant weâre going to discuss the protesters.
Before or after the show of shows, story of stories, sights of all sights?
If by that you mean Cirque du Soleil, how would you feel if we skipped that particular tradition this year?
Uh, Michael, you know Grandmère always pays extra for front-row VIP seats.
What if Iâve come up with something better for us to do?
What could be better than a dramatic mix of circus arts and street entertainment performed live under a large tent near New York Cityâs main jail complex? Except of course the aforementioned secret room filled with cake.
Youâll find out tomorrow.
Michael, you know I hate surprises, right?
I think youâll like this one.
I can already guarantee I wonât unless it involves cake and armor.
You really need to do something about that negativity. May I recommend a nice yoga/meditation retreat?
That isnât funny. Just reading the word meditate made my eyelid start twitching more.
Good night! Sweet dreams . . .
He added an emoji heâd made himself of a gorilla with hearts for eyes. Yes, in his spare time from work, my boyfriend designs emojis.
I think Iâm going to have to watch about three more episodes of NCIS before Iâll be able to calm down.
I wish I were a special agent for the Naval Criminal Investigative Service Major Case Response Team and not the princess of a tiny principality on the Mediterranean. Then I could just save the country from terrorist threats over and over, and never have to hear about oranges (or Reiki, or meditation retreats) again.
Three things for which I am grateful:
â¢Â  That Iâve got a TV with streaming Netflix.
â¢Â  Michael.
â¢Â  Tylenol PM. Seriously, Iâm so sleepy right now, I think Iâm . . .
CHAPTER 10
8:37 a.m., Friday, May 1
Third-Floor Apartment
Consulate General of Genovia
New York City
Woke up to 1,479 happy birthday posts, texts, e-mails, and voice mails, several of which are from people I actually know.
This is what happens when you become a public figure. Total strangers wish you happiness on your birthday, which is very, very nice.
But birthday wishes from people who know you (and still care about you, despite being aware of your character flaws) are even nicer.
No sign yet of Michaelâs âbirthday surprise.â
Iâm going to try to be a less suspicious and cynical person now that Iâm a year older and wiser, but I canât say Iâm a fan of surprises. âGuess what, Mia? Youâre the Princess of Genovia.â Thatâs just one example of a surprise Iâve received that turned out not to be so great.
Michaelâs a pretty good present giver, though, so I trust his is going to be better.
And itâs a new year, so Iâm going to spend it taking Paoloâs advice: figuring out how to make these diamond shoes work for me.
The people Iâve heard from so far (that I actually know, though not necessarily intimately) include:
1.   My mom and half brother, Rocky (singing âHappy Birthdayâ together).
This is the first year Iâve heard them without Mr. Gianini accompanying on his drum set. That made me a little sad. But when I called them back (I only spoke to Mom, because sheâd already dropped Rocky off at school), she sounded upbeat. Itâs good that
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