the new boyfriend (even though he was only supposed to be a one-night stand, but he makes such amazing breakfasts that sheâs decided to let him turn into a thirty-night stand) and she appreciates my wearing the red Vera suit (she does marketing for Vera Wang) to the benefit for victims of Hurricane Julio.
â¢Â   Note to self: Did she send me the suit, or did I buy it? I seriously donât even remember. Check into this.
Am I doing so many public events these days that theyâve all begun to blur? Am I slipping into early-onset dementia? How early does early-onset dementia begin, and what are the symptoms besides forgetting where my clothing comes from? Is one of the symptoms a twitching eyelid?
Or is it the Tylenol PM? I know Iâve only just started taking it, but seriously, I canât even remember falling asleep, let alone any of my dreams.
And finally:
10.   My ex-boyfriend J. P. Reynolds-Abernathy IV. I canât believe he had the nerve to contact me.
Oh, wait, I forgot: heâs J.P.
Anyway, he posted the following on my Instagram (where, of course, EVERYONE can see it).
And even though at the restorative yoga class I took with Grandmère to prove to her that yoga isnât so bad and she should do it to improve her joint health, the yogi said that hatred bars the path to spiritual enlightenment, I really do hate J.P. Or at least dislike him a lot:
Mia, Iâve been following you on social media. May I just say Iâm so proud of the woman youâve become? You look more beautiful every day. I donât understand why Michael hasnât proposed yet. Iâm sorry the press is now calling you âWhy Wonât He Marry Mia.â
Really? He had to bring that up? Also, he had to mention that I look great, nothing about everything Iâve accomplished, like founding the Community Center or the op-ed piece I just had published in the Wall Street Journal ?
Then he made things worse by listing his own accomplishments.
Iâve been keeping quite busy! As you know, Iâve always had a creative side. Screen- and playwriting have always been my thing in the past, but to my surprise, this winter I was inspired to write a novel! Even more surprising, itâs a YA novel set in the dystopian future featuring a love triangle centered around a racially diverse, strong-minded heroine who is also suffering from radiation poisoning.
Of course it is. Because J.P. knows so much about all of those things, being a white male who has never suffered from radiation poisoning and doesnât know anyone who is racially diverse (except Shameeka and Ling Su and Tina, and they stopped being friends with him long ago, after what he did to me).
The words just seemed to pour out of me. I think it might even end up being a trilogy!
Of course.
Since youâre a published author, Mia, I was hoping if I sent Love in the Time of Shadows to you, youâd read it and give me your thoughts, and also perhaps send it on to your editor. (Do take your time, I know how busy you must be, especially dealing with your fatherâs arrest. And I was so sorry to hear about Frank, by the way. Please give my regards to your mother.)
Of course he had to bring up my stepfatherâs death and my fatherâs arrest. BECAUSE IN HIS MIND THESE TWO THINGS ARE EQUALLY BAD.
OMG, I seriously hope J.P. gets radiation poisoning, then has to go live in the dystopian future.
Oh, wait. Maybe he already does:
Unfortunately things havenât been going so well for me recently either. My latest film, which I wrote and also produced and directed, Nymphomania 3-D , was not well received by critics (or audiences). I am really in the hole to my investors, and have been forced to take a job working here in the city at my uncleâs company. But I wonât bore you with the details!
Too late.
Thank you, Mia. Despite what you might think, I will always love you and wish things could have turned
â¢Â   Note to self: Did she send me the suit, or did I buy it? I seriously donât even remember. Check into this.
Am I doing so many public events these days that theyâve all begun to blur? Am I slipping into early-onset dementia? How early does early-onset dementia begin, and what are the symptoms besides forgetting where my clothing comes from? Is one of the symptoms a twitching eyelid?
Or is it the Tylenol PM? I know Iâve only just started taking it, but seriously, I canât even remember falling asleep, let alone any of my dreams.
And finally:
10.   My ex-boyfriend J. P. Reynolds-Abernathy IV. I canât believe he had the nerve to contact me.
Oh, wait, I forgot: heâs J.P.
Anyway, he posted the following on my Instagram (where, of course, EVERYONE can see it).
And even though at the restorative yoga class I took with Grandmère to prove to her that yoga isnât so bad and she should do it to improve her joint health, the yogi said that hatred bars the path to spiritual enlightenment, I really do hate J.P. Or at least dislike him a lot:
Mia, Iâve been following you on social media. May I just say Iâm so proud of the woman youâve become? You look more beautiful every day. I donât understand why Michael hasnât proposed yet. Iâm sorry the press is now calling you âWhy Wonât He Marry Mia.â
Really? He had to bring that up? Also, he had to mention that I look great, nothing about everything Iâve accomplished, like founding the Community Center or the op-ed piece I just had published in the Wall Street Journal ?
Then he made things worse by listing his own accomplishments.
Iâve been keeping quite busy! As you know, Iâve always had a creative side. Screen- and playwriting have always been my thing in the past, but to my surprise, this winter I was inspired to write a novel! Even more surprising, itâs a YA novel set in the dystopian future featuring a love triangle centered around a racially diverse, strong-minded heroine who is also suffering from radiation poisoning.
Of course it is. Because J.P. knows so much about all of those things, being a white male who has never suffered from radiation poisoning and doesnât know anyone who is racially diverse (except Shameeka and Ling Su and Tina, and they stopped being friends with him long ago, after what he did to me).
The words just seemed to pour out of me. I think it might even end up being a trilogy!
Of course.
Since youâre a published author, Mia, I was hoping if I sent Love in the Time of Shadows to you, youâd read it and give me your thoughts, and also perhaps send it on to your editor. (Do take your time, I know how busy you must be, especially dealing with your fatherâs arrest. And I was so sorry to hear about Frank, by the way. Please give my regards to your mother.)
Of course he had to bring up my stepfatherâs death and my fatherâs arrest. BECAUSE IN HIS MIND THESE TWO THINGS ARE EQUALLY BAD.
OMG, I seriously hope J.P. gets radiation poisoning, then has to go live in the dystopian future.
Oh, wait. Maybe he already does:
Unfortunately things havenât been going so well for me recently either. My latest film, which I wrote and also produced and directed, Nymphomania 3-D , was not well received by critics (or audiences). I am really in the hole to my investors, and have been forced to take a job working here in the city at my uncleâs company. But I wonât bore you with the details!
Too late.
Thank you, Mia. Despite what you might think, I will always love you and wish things could have turned
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