shouldn’t have turned me on to hear that, but it did. In fact it was exactly what I wanted to hear. I didn’t want anything else.
I wondered if the Ferrari came with a sprinkler system because I was fairly sure I was going to burst into flames at any moment.
‘Fine by me. My New Year’s resolution is to just have sex without the complicated, totally-messed-up relationship part.’
His eyes narrowed, as if he didn’t believe me and his scepticism didn’t surprise me. Why would it? We could put a man on the moon, but apparently we couldn’t convince the majority of the male population that a woman could want sex without needing to hear the L word. I didn’t have any reason to believe Nico Rossi was different to the average man.
There was a long, tense silence. Snow drifted onto the windscreen.
‘Tell me how you felt at the wedding.’
‘Honestly? I can’t really explain it. Obviously you’re an incredibly good kisser. And you’re good at other things, too. I was excited. Turned on. Exasperated that both our sisters chose to knock when they did—’ I stopped, thinking I’d pretty much summed it all up.
There was a long, pulsing pause and then he breathed deeply.
‘I was asking how you felt about seeing Charlie marry another woman.’
‘Oh…’
So now instead of a sprinkler system I had humiliation, washing over my skin like boiling oil, seeping into my pores and heating me up until I thought I might vaporize.
I’d been telling him how strongly I felt about him and all the time he’d been asking about Charlie.
I’d revealed so much. Too much .
Which was the story of my life if you thought about it.
Metaphorically and literally, my whole life was a ripped dress.
‘Right. Well, this is embarrassing.’
‘No, it isn’t.’
‘Not for you, maybe, but you’re not the one who just put herself out there.’
‘You weren’t broken-hearted?’
‘If we’re going for honesty here, then I’d like to know why you kissed me when you don’t even like me. I’m all for sex with no complications, but self-esteem demands it’s at least with someone who likes who I am.’
His gaze was steady. ‘Did you really think I would have had my hand up your dress if I didn’t like you?’
‘You’re a man. Men do that sort of thing all the time.’
He flipped on the wipers, cleared the snow from his windscreen and pulled back into the road. ‘Some men make decisions based on something more than a surge of testosterone.’
He shifted gears smoothly and the engine purred, loving his skilled touch. I sympathized.
I shifted in my seat so that I could look at his face. It was past six o’clock and anywhere else in the country it would have been dark, but in London it was as if someone had forgotten to turn the lights off. The place blazed like the runway at Heathrow airport. ‘Are you angry?’
It was a moment before he answered. ‘Thinking about you with Charlie makes me angry. Why the hell were you with him, Hayley? He constantly tried to make you someone you weren’t.’
‘That isn’t true.’
‘When you got this job, did he help you celebrate? No, he got drunk.’
And Nico had driven me home.
As my sister had reminded me, it had been Nico who had dropped me safely at my door.
My heart hammered against my chest. It felt like a wake-up call because he was asking me the question I should have asked myself right from day one. ‘I know you disapprove of me.’
As usual his expression revealed nothing. ‘You don’t know anything, Hayley.’
He pulled up at a junction.
The lights were on red and I found myself looking at the flex of thigh muscle as he stopped the car. And then he turned his head and I glanced from his leg to his face. I felt like a teenager unable to stop staring at the best looking boy in the class. Right at that moment no one else existed for me. We could have been the only two people on an alien planet where lights blazed and the streets were empty.
‘I don’t want
I wondered if the Ferrari came with a sprinkler system because I was fairly sure I was going to burst into flames at any moment.
‘Fine by me. My New Year’s resolution is to just have sex without the complicated, totally-messed-up relationship part.’
His eyes narrowed, as if he didn’t believe me and his scepticism didn’t surprise me. Why would it? We could put a man on the moon, but apparently we couldn’t convince the majority of the male population that a woman could want sex without needing to hear the L word. I didn’t have any reason to believe Nico Rossi was different to the average man.
There was a long, tense silence. Snow drifted onto the windscreen.
‘Tell me how you felt at the wedding.’
‘Honestly? I can’t really explain it. Obviously you’re an incredibly good kisser. And you’re good at other things, too. I was excited. Turned on. Exasperated that both our sisters chose to knock when they did—’ I stopped, thinking I’d pretty much summed it all up.
There was a long, pulsing pause and then he breathed deeply.
‘I was asking how you felt about seeing Charlie marry another woman.’
‘Oh…’
So now instead of a sprinkler system I had humiliation, washing over my skin like boiling oil, seeping into my pores and heating me up until I thought I might vaporize.
I’d been telling him how strongly I felt about him and all the time he’d been asking about Charlie.
I’d revealed so much. Too much .
Which was the story of my life if you thought about it.
Metaphorically and literally, my whole life was a ripped dress.
‘Right. Well, this is embarrassing.’
‘No, it isn’t.’
‘Not for you, maybe, but you’re not the one who just put herself out there.’
‘You weren’t broken-hearted?’
‘If we’re going for honesty here, then I’d like to know why you kissed me when you don’t even like me. I’m all for sex with no complications, but self-esteem demands it’s at least with someone who likes who I am.’
His gaze was steady. ‘Did you really think I would have had my hand up your dress if I didn’t like you?’
‘You’re a man. Men do that sort of thing all the time.’
He flipped on the wipers, cleared the snow from his windscreen and pulled back into the road. ‘Some men make decisions based on something more than a surge of testosterone.’
He shifted gears smoothly and the engine purred, loving his skilled touch. I sympathized.
I shifted in my seat so that I could look at his face. It was past six o’clock and anywhere else in the country it would have been dark, but in London it was as if someone had forgotten to turn the lights off. The place blazed like the runway at Heathrow airport. ‘Are you angry?’
It was a moment before he answered. ‘Thinking about you with Charlie makes me angry. Why the hell were you with him, Hayley? He constantly tried to make you someone you weren’t.’
‘That isn’t true.’
‘When you got this job, did he help you celebrate? No, he got drunk.’
And Nico had driven me home.
As my sister had reminded me, it had been Nico who had dropped me safely at my door.
My heart hammered against my chest. It felt like a wake-up call because he was asking me the question I should have asked myself right from day one. ‘I know you disapprove of me.’
As usual his expression revealed nothing. ‘You don’t know anything, Hayley.’
He pulled up at a junction.
The lights were on red and I found myself looking at the flex of thigh muscle as he stopped the car. And then he turned his head and I glanced from his leg to his face. I felt like a teenager unable to stop staring at the best looking boy in the class. Right at that moment no one else existed for me. We could have been the only two people on an alien planet where lights blazed and the streets were empty.
‘I don’t want
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