preparations, get clearance from Eve’s doctor, and find a place with an excellent children's cancer treatment center.
It was going to take some time and a lot of creative penny pinching, but I could do this . . . I only hoped he didn’t ruin me in the meantime.
I backed down his driveway, and on my way to the hospital, I stopped by my apartment to shower and change. Eve was already picking at her lunch tray when I entered her room. Ian sat next to her, his bagged lunch open in his lap. They were watching Dora, and something about seeing a grown man watch a cartoon with a three-year-old floored me. This wasn’t the first time I’d found him in her room, sharing lunch or playing a game with her.
Spotting me in the doorway, she broke into a huge smile. She jumped from bed and crashed into my arms with the power of a locomotive. The urge to cry overwhelmed me. Happy tears because Eve was healthy again, and desperate tears because I was so mixed up on the inside. I pushed it down and focused on her, on this day—the day she was coming home. She’d come so far. Just four weeks ago, I’d thought she wasn’t going to make it.
I had Gage to thank for the reality of her in my arms.
“Hi, baby. Sorry I’m late.” I deposited her in bed and took the seat next to her. “What’re you having for lunch?”
“Yucky peas.” She made a face, and I laughed.
Ian grinned at me from the other side of her bed. “No amount of bribing works. She won’t touch them. She did eat the macaroni and cheese though.” He rose to his feet and gestured toward the door. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”
“Sure.” I swallowed my nervousness as he ushered me into the hall. He guided me down the corridor to where the elevators where. “Where are we going?” I asked.
“My office. We need some privacy for this conversation.”
I already dreaded what was coming. He’d given me plenty of space during the past two weeks, never voicing the questions he tried to hide. Apparently, that was about to change. We descended two floors, and he led me down a maze of hallways.
“How do you keep from getting lost?”
His mouth turned up as he unlocked the door to what I guessed was his office. “Trust me, I still get lost sometimes.” We entered a small, tidy space, and he pulled out a chair. “Have a seat.”
I sat twiddling my thumbs as he settled next to me. “What’s this about, Ian?” Something about the uncertain set of his mouth made my heart jump.
“I know the timing is shitty. You’re about to bring Eve home, and this definitely isn’t how I’d envisioned doing this . . .” He let out a breath and stood, and my heart started pounding when he bent to one knee. “But I love you, Kayla. I’ve spent the past seven years trying to right wrongs, trying to be good enough.” He withdrew a white box from the pocket of his slacks and opened it to reveal a tasteful solitaire. “Marry me.” His fingers curled around mine and squeezed. “I want to be here for you and Eve.”
I blinked, but the room wouldn’t stop spinning. His face swam in my vision. “I . . . I can’t.”
“If this is about Gage . . .” He trailed off and lowered his head. “If it’s about that last weekend you spent with him, I don’t need to know about it. It’s in the past. You did what you had to do. I understand that.”
“You don’t understand.” My voice cracked, and when he looked up, my tears spilled over.
“You’re in love with him? Kayla . . . what he did to you . . .
“I’m not in love with him.” I blinked and prepared to spill my guts. I hadn’t wanted him to know what I’d done, but he deserved the truth; at the very least, he deserved an explanation. “I went back to him last night. He didn’t blackmail me, didn’t force me. It was all me.”
He glanced up, his pain evident in the firm set of his jaw. “I don’t believe you.”
I swiped rivulets of moisture from my cheeks. “I slept with him. I even let him whip
It was going to take some time and a lot of creative penny pinching, but I could do this . . . I only hoped he didn’t ruin me in the meantime.
I backed down his driveway, and on my way to the hospital, I stopped by my apartment to shower and change. Eve was already picking at her lunch tray when I entered her room. Ian sat next to her, his bagged lunch open in his lap. They were watching Dora, and something about seeing a grown man watch a cartoon with a three-year-old floored me. This wasn’t the first time I’d found him in her room, sharing lunch or playing a game with her.
Spotting me in the doorway, she broke into a huge smile. She jumped from bed and crashed into my arms with the power of a locomotive. The urge to cry overwhelmed me. Happy tears because Eve was healthy again, and desperate tears because I was so mixed up on the inside. I pushed it down and focused on her, on this day—the day she was coming home. She’d come so far. Just four weeks ago, I’d thought she wasn’t going to make it.
I had Gage to thank for the reality of her in my arms.
“Hi, baby. Sorry I’m late.” I deposited her in bed and took the seat next to her. “What’re you having for lunch?”
“Yucky peas.” She made a face, and I laughed.
Ian grinned at me from the other side of her bed. “No amount of bribing works. She won’t touch them. She did eat the macaroni and cheese though.” He rose to his feet and gestured toward the door. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”
“Sure.” I swallowed my nervousness as he ushered me into the hall. He guided me down the corridor to where the elevators where. “Where are we going?” I asked.
“My office. We need some privacy for this conversation.”
I already dreaded what was coming. He’d given me plenty of space during the past two weeks, never voicing the questions he tried to hide. Apparently, that was about to change. We descended two floors, and he led me down a maze of hallways.
“How do you keep from getting lost?”
His mouth turned up as he unlocked the door to what I guessed was his office. “Trust me, I still get lost sometimes.” We entered a small, tidy space, and he pulled out a chair. “Have a seat.”
I sat twiddling my thumbs as he settled next to me. “What’s this about, Ian?” Something about the uncertain set of his mouth made my heart jump.
“I know the timing is shitty. You’re about to bring Eve home, and this definitely isn’t how I’d envisioned doing this . . .” He let out a breath and stood, and my heart started pounding when he bent to one knee. “But I love you, Kayla. I’ve spent the past seven years trying to right wrongs, trying to be good enough.” He withdrew a white box from the pocket of his slacks and opened it to reveal a tasteful solitaire. “Marry me.” His fingers curled around mine and squeezed. “I want to be here for you and Eve.”
I blinked, but the room wouldn’t stop spinning. His face swam in my vision. “I . . . I can’t.”
“If this is about Gage . . .” He trailed off and lowered his head. “If it’s about that last weekend you spent with him, I don’t need to know about it. It’s in the past. You did what you had to do. I understand that.”
“You don’t understand.” My voice cracked, and when he looked up, my tears spilled over.
“You’re in love with him? Kayla . . . what he did to you . . .
“I’m not in love with him.” I blinked and prepared to spill my guts. I hadn’t wanted him to know what I’d done, but he deserved the truth; at the very least, he deserved an explanation. “I went back to him last night. He didn’t blackmail me, didn’t force me. It was all me.”
He glanced up, his pain evident in the firm set of his jaw. “I don’t believe you.”
I swiped rivulets of moisture from my cheeks. “I slept with him. I even let him whip
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