Read Online Regret Me Not by Danielle Sibarium - Free Book Online
Authors: Danielle Sibarium
Tags: Romance, Literature & Fiction, Contemporary, Family Life, Genre Fiction, New Adult & College, Sports
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feels more like I'm coming out of hiding."
"Something's wrong, what is it? Tell me what happened."
"I don't want to talk. I thought that was clear."
A strangled sound comes out of his mouth, but he doesn't release my hands. "Come on, be straight with me. Are you alright?"
I nod and let out a frustrated sigh. "Better now."
"While I'd love to think you broke down like this just because you want me, and find me irresistible, I know that's not the case. C'mon, tell me what happened," He smoothes my hair, "Is it Jess?"
I shake my head and drop my eyes. Knowing I'm about to sound like a spoiled brat.
"Yes. Not really. I'm just so pissed at my parents. Sometimes I think everyone would be better off if I just disappeared. I don't even think they'd notice."
He lifts my chin with his index finger so I meet his eyes. "Don't. Ever. Say. That. I wouldn't be better off. And neither would your parents." He's serious, his stare penetrating. "Why don't you tell me what happened? Maybe I can help."
I take a deep breath and lean my head on his shoulder. "Everything is so fucked up. She throws her life away, and she gets rewarded. She gets everything. I try to do the right thing, and I'm just an afterthought. They toss me whatever scraps she leaves behind like I'm a freaking stray dog."
"Look at me."
I shake my head, suddenly self-conscious.
"Kenzie, listen," he moves so my head is no longer in the crook of his neck. "I want to listen to what you're saying. I do. It's important to me. But with you breathing on my neck like that . . . I can't think straight," he explains. "All I can think about is laying you down and kissing you again. And touching your skin. God, it was so soft. But I can't. Because I don't know how long I can touch you without wanting more; you felt so good, so right . . . " He shakes his head. "And I can't, I won't, let that happen because that was the best kiss of my life, and all I want is to to kiss you again. Only I'm terrified something is seriously wrong and if I let things go where you want them to, you're going to withdraw and run away from me again. And I've tried so hard to get you to see you don't need to run. Not from me."
"I won't run away. I promise."
"Prove it. Tell me why you're so upset."
"Fine." I meet his eyes, this time with enough courage to tell him. "My parents don't have college money for me. Seems like they blew it all on Jess. So now it's community college or nothing."
"I'm sorry. I know how much you want to get away from here."
I nod, this time keeping the tears at bay.
"But you're smart. You can apply for scholarships."
I shake my head. "My grades slipped. I'm lucky to pass with Cs right now. I did so bad in the beginning, between keeping shit together for my parents when Jess was in the hospital, and then rehab, I'm not going to get scholarships with these grades. I'm stuck here. Stuck in the shit-hole town."
He doesn't answer. There's nothing more to say. He pulls me into his chest again and holds me close.
Chapter 7
The First Time
The first time Brayden kisses me at school, I expect to hear all kinds of rumblings. I think the cheerleaders might tie me to a chair in the school basement to explain how I'm overstepping my boundaries, and warn me to back off. Fortunately none of these things happen. Instead they continue with the dirty looks and the icy stares they've been shooting my way for the last two months.
"I'm surprised no one's saying anything about us," I admit on the car ride home.
"Why would they?"
I shrug, "I don't know, I guess I expected people would go ape shit that we're together. Together, together I mean."
He laughs.
"What's so funny?"
"We've been together, together, you just didn't realize it."
"No we haven't."
He flutters his dark lashes at me, "Have you been with anyone since you left Scott at the party?"
I shake my head, "No."
"Neither have I. And we've been spending a lot of time together, haven't we?"
I nod.
"We go to the parties
"Something's wrong, what is it? Tell me what happened."
"I don't want to talk. I thought that was clear."
A strangled sound comes out of his mouth, but he doesn't release my hands. "Come on, be straight with me. Are you alright?"
I nod and let out a frustrated sigh. "Better now."
"While I'd love to think you broke down like this just because you want me, and find me irresistible, I know that's not the case. C'mon, tell me what happened," He smoothes my hair, "Is it Jess?"
I shake my head and drop my eyes. Knowing I'm about to sound like a spoiled brat.
"Yes. Not really. I'm just so pissed at my parents. Sometimes I think everyone would be better off if I just disappeared. I don't even think they'd notice."
He lifts my chin with his index finger so I meet his eyes. "Don't. Ever. Say. That. I wouldn't be better off. And neither would your parents." He's serious, his stare penetrating. "Why don't you tell me what happened? Maybe I can help."
I take a deep breath and lean my head on his shoulder. "Everything is so fucked up. She throws her life away, and she gets rewarded. She gets everything. I try to do the right thing, and I'm just an afterthought. They toss me whatever scraps she leaves behind like I'm a freaking stray dog."
"Look at me."
I shake my head, suddenly self-conscious.
"Kenzie, listen," he moves so my head is no longer in the crook of his neck. "I want to listen to what you're saying. I do. It's important to me. But with you breathing on my neck like that . . . I can't think straight," he explains. "All I can think about is laying you down and kissing you again. And touching your skin. God, it was so soft. But I can't. Because I don't know how long I can touch you without wanting more; you felt so good, so right . . . " He shakes his head. "And I can't, I won't, let that happen because that was the best kiss of my life, and all I want is to to kiss you again. Only I'm terrified something is seriously wrong and if I let things go where you want them to, you're going to withdraw and run away from me again. And I've tried so hard to get you to see you don't need to run. Not from me."
"I won't run away. I promise."
"Prove it. Tell me why you're so upset."
"Fine." I meet his eyes, this time with enough courage to tell him. "My parents don't have college money for me. Seems like they blew it all on Jess. So now it's community college or nothing."
"I'm sorry. I know how much you want to get away from here."
I nod, this time keeping the tears at bay.
"But you're smart. You can apply for scholarships."
I shake my head. "My grades slipped. I'm lucky to pass with Cs right now. I did so bad in the beginning, between keeping shit together for my parents when Jess was in the hospital, and then rehab, I'm not going to get scholarships with these grades. I'm stuck here. Stuck in the shit-hole town."
He doesn't answer. There's nothing more to say. He pulls me into his chest again and holds me close.
Chapter 7
The First Time
The first time Brayden kisses me at school, I expect to hear all kinds of rumblings. I think the cheerleaders might tie me to a chair in the school basement to explain how I'm overstepping my boundaries, and warn me to back off. Fortunately none of these things happen. Instead they continue with the dirty looks and the icy stares they've been shooting my way for the last two months.
"I'm surprised no one's saying anything about us," I admit on the car ride home.
"Why would they?"
I shrug, "I don't know, I guess I expected people would go ape shit that we're together. Together, together I mean."
He laughs.
"What's so funny?"
"We've been together, together, you just didn't realize it."
"No we haven't."
He flutters his dark lashes at me, "Have you been with anyone since you left Scott at the party?"
I shake my head, "No."
"Neither have I. And we've been spending a lot of time together, haven't we?"
I nod.
"We go to the parties
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