Read Online Regarding Anna by Florence Osmund - Free Book Online

gaze.
    I expected him to say something else, but he didn’t, so I said the only thing that came to mind.
    “Hi.”
    “What are you doing?” he repeated.
    Now, I could have responded to that question in a couple of different ways, and the first answer that came to me was pretty sarcastic, so I chose another one.
    “I’m trying to deliver a bush. I don’t suppose you could help me get this thing off of me.”
    He walked around me at a slow gait, shined a blinding light in my face, and said, “I’d hate to get my uniform dirty. It just came back from the laundry.”
    I counted to five. It was a good thing I did because what I almost blurted out would have definitely gotten me into more trouble than I was already in. I looked down at what little I could see of my lap and realized the burlap wrapping around the roots had broken, and there was dirt everywhere. I managed to push the bush off my lap just as a second police car arrived on the scene. This one had his red lights blaring.
    “What seems to be the trouble?” he asked the first cop.
    I pulled myself up off the pavement and brushed myself off the best I could.
    “Her story is she’s delivering a bush.”
    “A bush.”
    “A winterberry bush,” I explained for no useful reason.
    One by one, lights came on in the surrounding homes, and people were peeking out their windows and doors to see what the commotion was all about. A man wearing nothing but boxer shorts came out of the house I was parked in front of and stood on his porch staring at us. Only in his underwear and it was forty-something degrees out there.
    Then my worst fear became reality. Minnie, wearing a plaid nightgown, fuzzy slippers, and a shawl around her shoulders, marched toward us like Sergeant Carter out to get Gomer Pyle after he’d done something incredibly stupid.
    “Arrest that woman!” she shouted.
    “Calm down, lady. She hasn’t done anything illegal...that we know of.”
    “I know her! She’s an imposter!”
    “What do you mean she’s an imposter?”
    It was getting more absurd by the minute. Now all the neighbors were out on their porches watching us.
    “Officer, I can ex—”
    “I’ll get to you,” he said before I could finish my sentence.
    He turned to Minnie. “Now what were you saying?”
    “She lied to me...about who she was. Gave me a phony name and other lies too.”
    The policeman turned toward me. “Is that true?”
    “I was desperate to get to know her, and I shouldn’t have lied. That’s why I’m here with this winterberry bush. I wanted to make amends. Apologize to her. It’s a peace offering.” The longer I spoke, the more pathetic I sounded...even to me.
    Minnie grunted something inaudible, turned back toward her house, and walked away.
    “Take her away,” she shouted.
    “What do we do with the bush?” the second cop asked the first one.
    “Throw it away. Find a dumpster in an alley somewhere,” he said.
    Minnie stopped walking and turned around. She looked directly at me. “It’s a winterberry bush?” she asked.
    I nodded. “With a note to you inside.”
    She walked back to us and glared at cop number one.
    “You can’t mistreat a precious bush like that by throwing it in a dumpster.” She gestured toward me. “Now, her...well, she’s a different story.”
    “Ma’am, what do you suggest we do with the bush? We can’t exactly plant it anywhere,” the cop said sarcastically.
    “Can you put it in my garage? Someone has to rescue the poor thing.”
    “Yes, ma’am. We can do that.” The cop turned toward me. “I suggest you leave this neighborhood and don’t come back.”
    “Yes, sir.”
    Completely disheartened, I drove home and went back to bed.

EIGHT
    “I Hate Coffee”
    A week after the ill-fated winterberry bush incident, I was still feeling embarrassed and totally stupid. Though Minnie now had my phone number and address, I was not optimistic she’d ever contact me. I doubted she’d even read the letter I had tucked