at the earlier spectacle, Lazy Eye backed out of the cell and slammed the door shut behind him.
She was alone.
She coughed and spat, leaving a trail of bloody phlegm on the floor. She must have bitten her tongue when they’d shocked her. She could taste copper in her mouth, but the pain didn’t register.
Pain was something she had become so accustomed to, it was almost the norm for her now.
For nearly a full minute, she didn’t move a muscle, just lay there watching her breath misting in the cool air. She almost didn’t want to move. She felt as if she had been beaten from the inside out.
It had been some time since Bastard had had her, and he’d done his best to make up for lost time. Twice he had raped her in that cold shower room. Twice she had had to endure the weight of his massive, heaving bulk on top of her, feeling his hot breath in her ear as he grunted and thrust away. She couldn’t decide which was worse; the hard, fast and brutal first time, or his slower and more thorough second attempt.
She should have felt anger at what had happened. She should have felt revulsion and hatred and disgust and grief and a dozen other emotions that normal women would have felt.
No such feelings stirred within her now. The only anger she felt was towards herself and her body – her soft and vulnerable body that could be so easily hurt. Had she been born a man, she could have endured places like Khatyrgan with ease.
She could have endured many things in her life.
She was tired. Tired of this place, tired of waiting for the next round of pain and humiliation, tired of being cold and eating the same shit food every day.
She had thought herself strong once, able to endure anything, able to fight her way out of any situation. Years ago she had been a soldier, a warrior, a killer who struck without remorse, without fear, without conscience or regret, and who none could stand against. She had once stood on the brink of greatness, commanding power and respect that most could only dream of.
Yes, she had been strong then, and arrogant.
And wrong.
Now, lying there naked and shivering, with her insides aching and burning, she understood just how wrong she had been.
Yes, she had been wrong, and she was paying the price for that every single day of her life. Every day in this 6-foot-by-8-foot world, she lost a little more of that strength. Every day another piece of her died, until at last there wasn’t all that much left to call her own.
If she was to just lie there, the cold would eventually take her. It was such an easy thought, such an easy escape.
She would fall asleep, and that would be it.
Maybe it was better that way.
Suddenly, unbidden, her mind echoed with a voice that was not her own, speaking words that had once been recited to her long ago, words which had been drilled into the very core of her being, words which had sustained her many times when her hope had faded.
I will endure when all others fail. I will stand when all others retreat. Weakness will not be in my heart. Fear will not be in my creed. I will show no mercy. I will never hesitate. I will never surrender
.
Her eyes snapped open, focused now with a clarity that her torture and rape had all but extinguished. A fire of defiance, of hatred and rage flared up inside her, driving away the weariness and the thoughts of surrender and despair.
I won’t die here. I won’t. They can kill me if they want, but I won’t lay down and die for them. I won’t give them that pleasure.
Get up. Get up now
.
Slowly, painfully, she managed to get her arms beneath her and pushed herself up from the floor as she had done so many times. The effort left her trembling and gasping for breath, but she was up.
Forcing her rigid, frozen muscles to work, she reached out and grasped her clothes in a white-knuckle grip, dragging them across the floor towards her.
I will never surrender
.
Chapter 10
‘GOOD MORNING, EVERYONE,’ Drake began. ‘I’m sorry we had to
She was alone.
She coughed and spat, leaving a trail of bloody phlegm on the floor. She must have bitten her tongue when they’d shocked her. She could taste copper in her mouth, but the pain didn’t register.
Pain was something she had become so accustomed to, it was almost the norm for her now.
For nearly a full minute, she didn’t move a muscle, just lay there watching her breath misting in the cool air. She almost didn’t want to move. She felt as if she had been beaten from the inside out.
It had been some time since Bastard had had her, and he’d done his best to make up for lost time. Twice he had raped her in that cold shower room. Twice she had had to endure the weight of his massive, heaving bulk on top of her, feeling his hot breath in her ear as he grunted and thrust away. She couldn’t decide which was worse; the hard, fast and brutal first time, or his slower and more thorough second attempt.
She should have felt anger at what had happened. She should have felt revulsion and hatred and disgust and grief and a dozen other emotions that normal women would have felt.
No such feelings stirred within her now. The only anger she felt was towards herself and her body – her soft and vulnerable body that could be so easily hurt. Had she been born a man, she could have endured places like Khatyrgan with ease.
She could have endured many things in her life.
She was tired. Tired of this place, tired of waiting for the next round of pain and humiliation, tired of being cold and eating the same shit food every day.
She had thought herself strong once, able to endure anything, able to fight her way out of any situation. Years ago she had been a soldier, a warrior, a killer who struck without remorse, without fear, without conscience or regret, and who none could stand against. She had once stood on the brink of greatness, commanding power and respect that most could only dream of.
Yes, she had been strong then, and arrogant.
And wrong.
Now, lying there naked and shivering, with her insides aching and burning, she understood just how wrong she had been.
Yes, she had been wrong, and she was paying the price for that every single day of her life. Every day in this 6-foot-by-8-foot world, she lost a little more of that strength. Every day another piece of her died, until at last there wasn’t all that much left to call her own.
If she was to just lie there, the cold would eventually take her. It was such an easy thought, such an easy escape.
She would fall asleep, and that would be it.
Maybe it was better that way.
Suddenly, unbidden, her mind echoed with a voice that was not her own, speaking words that had once been recited to her long ago, words which had been drilled into the very core of her being, words which had sustained her many times when her hope had faded.
I will endure when all others fail. I will stand when all others retreat. Weakness will not be in my heart. Fear will not be in my creed. I will show no mercy. I will never hesitate. I will never surrender
.
Her eyes snapped open, focused now with a clarity that her torture and rape had all but extinguished. A fire of defiance, of hatred and rage flared up inside her, driving away the weariness and the thoughts of surrender and despair.
I won’t die here. I won’t. They can kill me if they want, but I won’t lay down and die for them. I won’t give them that pleasure.
Get up. Get up now
.
Slowly, painfully, she managed to get her arms beneath her and pushed herself up from the floor as she had done so many times. The effort left her trembling and gasping for breath, but she was up.
Forcing her rigid, frozen muscles to work, she reached out and grasped her clothes in a white-knuckle grip, dragging them across the floor towards her.
I will never surrender
.
Chapter 10
‘GOOD MORNING, EVERYONE,’ Drake began. ‘I’m sorry we had to
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