Read Online Red Tape by Michele Lynn Seigfried - Free Book Online
Authors: Michele Lynn Seigfried
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destruction of the documents. After scowling at me, he started with a barrage of questioning.
“Who made the decision to destroy the purchase orders? Was it your finance division or that stupid mayor herself? Why would you destroy them? I don’t understand why you would destroy them. They take up so little space. There is no reason for you to destroy such small documents. This is a perfect example of government red tape. Preventing the public from finding out what is really going on around here.”
He rattled off the questions so fast that I didn’t have time to answer them. Clearly, he did not want to hear any explanation. It wasn’t our policy to keep records past their retention periods; it had nothing to do with preventing the public from obtaining information. To him, it might seem like a small file folder containing only the purchase orders he requested. To me, it was one folder, then another folder, then another, which amounted to twenty boxes per year that had to be stored somewhere. Plus, when you actually counted up all the purchase orders from all the departments of the town, there were hundreds of them yearly; not quite the small amount that Mr. Triggers thought. Since there was no storage here in our small municipal complex, the town had to pay for storage. It wasn’t financially wise to keep dozens and dozens of extra boxes around when we typically didn’t have requests for older records like this.
“I know you are either hiding something or you’re an idiot!” Triggers shouted at me.
“Mr. Triggers, I can assure you that I am not hiding anything. I am only doing my job.”
I didn’t address the idiot comment. I felt it wasn’t worth it. He was possibly the most annoying person I had ever encountered in my life. I used to think Mitchell Looney with his pothole complaints at every council meeting was the most annoying person I knew. Triggers changed all that. I had a theory—Mr. Triggers was put on this Earth in order to make Mitchell Looney seem normal. Normal people would fill out one form, listing all the documents they wanted, then leave it with me so that I could compile everything. Normal people didn’t hand me one list, then a second, then a third, fourth, or fifth. Normal people didn’t demand that I wait on them for hours at a time. Normal people understood the meaning of the word no . Triggers was anything but normal.
After an hour and a half of berating me, he finally left. I could feel the tension releasing from my shoulders the second he walked out. I hadn’t noticed that Tex had come in through the back of the office while Triggers was here.
“Having trouble?” he asked.
“What do you think?” I asked, sarcastically.
“Aw, but I thought for sure he brought the sunshine to Sunshine today with that outfit.”
“Yeah, the outfit was a little bright, but his personality…not so much,” Bonnie said.
“Seriously, wasn’t he arrested last night? Why was he here?” I asked.
“He was arrested,” Tex said.
“Then why isn’t he in jail?”
“He was released on his own recognizance.”
Bonnie chimed in, “What was he arrested for? Assault with deadly loose change?”
“Disorderly conduct,” Tex said.
“Well, what if he comes in here throwing things around, like his big rock?” I asked. “What if he hits one of us? Would that be assault? Would that keep him in jail longer?”
Tex shook his head at me and said condescendingly, “Next time he comes in here, pick up the phone and dial 9-1-1 if you feel threatened at all. We are right across the parking lot.”
“That doesn’t make us feel any better,” I said, annoyed.
“And I checked out the rock thing. It was one of those plastic fake rocks to hide a key in.”
“Oh. Then why did he bring it in here?”
“How the hell should I know?”
I hustled back to work. I was behind in my meeting follow up since Triggers took up all my time. After an hour went by, I was so engrossed in paperwork, I didn’t
“Who made the decision to destroy the purchase orders? Was it your finance division or that stupid mayor herself? Why would you destroy them? I don’t understand why you would destroy them. They take up so little space. There is no reason for you to destroy such small documents. This is a perfect example of government red tape. Preventing the public from finding out what is really going on around here.”
He rattled off the questions so fast that I didn’t have time to answer them. Clearly, he did not want to hear any explanation. It wasn’t our policy to keep records past their retention periods; it had nothing to do with preventing the public from obtaining information. To him, it might seem like a small file folder containing only the purchase orders he requested. To me, it was one folder, then another folder, then another, which amounted to twenty boxes per year that had to be stored somewhere. Plus, when you actually counted up all the purchase orders from all the departments of the town, there were hundreds of them yearly; not quite the small amount that Mr. Triggers thought. Since there was no storage here in our small municipal complex, the town had to pay for storage. It wasn’t financially wise to keep dozens and dozens of extra boxes around when we typically didn’t have requests for older records like this.
“I know you are either hiding something or you’re an idiot!” Triggers shouted at me.
“Mr. Triggers, I can assure you that I am not hiding anything. I am only doing my job.”
I didn’t address the idiot comment. I felt it wasn’t worth it. He was possibly the most annoying person I had ever encountered in my life. I used to think Mitchell Looney with his pothole complaints at every council meeting was the most annoying person I knew. Triggers changed all that. I had a theory—Mr. Triggers was put on this Earth in order to make Mitchell Looney seem normal. Normal people would fill out one form, listing all the documents they wanted, then leave it with me so that I could compile everything. Normal people didn’t hand me one list, then a second, then a third, fourth, or fifth. Normal people didn’t demand that I wait on them for hours at a time. Normal people understood the meaning of the word no . Triggers was anything but normal.
After an hour and a half of berating me, he finally left. I could feel the tension releasing from my shoulders the second he walked out. I hadn’t noticed that Tex had come in through the back of the office while Triggers was here.
“Having trouble?” he asked.
“What do you think?” I asked, sarcastically.
“Aw, but I thought for sure he brought the sunshine to Sunshine today with that outfit.”
“Yeah, the outfit was a little bright, but his personality…not so much,” Bonnie said.
“Seriously, wasn’t he arrested last night? Why was he here?” I asked.
“He was arrested,” Tex said.
“Then why isn’t he in jail?”
“He was released on his own recognizance.”
Bonnie chimed in, “What was he arrested for? Assault with deadly loose change?”
“Disorderly conduct,” Tex said.
“Well, what if he comes in here throwing things around, like his big rock?” I asked. “What if he hits one of us? Would that be assault? Would that keep him in jail longer?”
Tex shook his head at me and said condescendingly, “Next time he comes in here, pick up the phone and dial 9-1-1 if you feel threatened at all. We are right across the parking lot.”
“That doesn’t make us feel any better,” I said, annoyed.
“And I checked out the rock thing. It was one of those plastic fake rocks to hide a key in.”
“Oh. Then why did he bring it in here?”
“How the hell should I know?”
I hustled back to work. I was behind in my meeting follow up since Triggers took up all my time. After an hour went by, I was so engrossed in paperwork, I didn’t
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