Read Online Reckless Rules (Brambridge Novel 4) by Pearl Darling - Free Book Online
Authors: Pearl Darling
Tags: Fiction, Romance, Historical, Adult, series, Regency, England, Military, romantic suspense, Mission, 19th century, Bachelor, Victorian, Britain, widow, Forever Love, Single Woman, Hearts Desire, London Society, Brambridge, War Office, British Government, Deceased Husband, Secret Investigator
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floor.
“What should I do, Ponzi?” She pulled gently at the tufts of hair around the dog’s ears. “I thought Mr. Robertson’s establishment was one of the more honest of the pauper houses. But now I’m not so sure. The shoes have not been delivered to the poor, he doesn’t know how many he is looking after, and his thoughts about those women…” Victoria sank into one of the fragile tub chairs she kept in the room especially for her more difficult visitors. “There but for the grace of God, go I.”
Ponzi barked and pawed at her leg.
“Yes, I know I never would have needed to have been a… streetwalker. But I made a similar choice when I jumped out of my gilded cage and entered into marriage with Lord Colchester. If we had entered into intimate relations then I would have been no better than those girls, those women . As it is, I have ended up richer because of it. And I am still alone… still in my own self-imposed cage and I am guilty of everything Bill accused me of. Giving to the poor to make me feel better, bowing to the strictures of the ton to make me feel better just not in the way he understands…”
Victoria buried her head in her hands, and her shoulders shook. Oh God no—not now. A black wall of despair threatened to rock her very defenses. If she gave in to it she would be useless for weeks. Her brother called it her melancholia. She had no name for it—she didn’t want to name it. To do so would be to give it a voice, a place in her life. The last bout had been when Colchester had died, although many times it had threatened to overwhelm her since then… her brother Henry marrying her best friend Agatha; Earl Harding, the man with whom she might have found comfort, finding his own love. They were leaving her all behind without a backwards glance. And then there had been the moment when she had fled Brambridge, running away from Bill’s continued requests to see her.
This was where the rules came in. They gave her life a rigid structure. That was why she acted in a strict fashion. They kept her sane.
Victoria swallowed and looked at the ceiling. What was the first rule of investigation? She swallowed again. She couldn’t remember. Her shoulders shook harder. Ponzi ran from her legs to the drawing room door and pawed at the casement. Victoria tried to move but her legs wouldn’t let her.
The door opened silently and Carruthers entered with a large tea tray. Without looking at her, he navigated the small chairs and deposited the teapot, cups and cake on the desk that sat in the corner. Frozen, she followed Carruthers’ progress as he carefully set out the tea items, not once raising his own gaze to hers.
“Pardon me, my lady, but when I heard your voice, I assumed you had visitors, so I brought in a tea tray,” Carruthers said, placing a spoon in the sugar well. “Might I pour you a cup of tea?”
Victoria nodded slowly. The banality of Carruthers’ conversation had a soporific effect on her body. Her shoulders stopped shaking and the feeling returned to her legs.
“I assume it is just the two sugars?”
Victoria wanted to smile. Carruthers knew to the granule how much sugar Victoria put in her tea.
“Just the one please, Carruthers.” Victoria licked her lips. “I’m sweet enough as it is.”
“Of course, Madam, pardon my mistake. I will punish myself accordingly.”
“I would suggest a good session of silver polishing would do the trick.” Victoria put out her hand to receive the proffered teacup. She looked quickly up into Carruthers’ face and winked. His sigh was followed by a smile.
“Of course, my lady. There is nothing I should like more.”
Make friends with the servants for they shall carry you through . That was the first rule of investigation. Victoria closed her eyes, relieved that the despair that had threatened to overcome her had receded to a safe distance. Lord Colchester couldn’t have realized when he had drummed those rules into her head
“What should I do, Ponzi?” She pulled gently at the tufts of hair around the dog’s ears. “I thought Mr. Robertson’s establishment was one of the more honest of the pauper houses. But now I’m not so sure. The shoes have not been delivered to the poor, he doesn’t know how many he is looking after, and his thoughts about those women…” Victoria sank into one of the fragile tub chairs she kept in the room especially for her more difficult visitors. “There but for the grace of God, go I.”
Ponzi barked and pawed at her leg.
“Yes, I know I never would have needed to have been a… streetwalker. But I made a similar choice when I jumped out of my gilded cage and entered into marriage with Lord Colchester. If we had entered into intimate relations then I would have been no better than those girls, those women . As it is, I have ended up richer because of it. And I am still alone… still in my own self-imposed cage and I am guilty of everything Bill accused me of. Giving to the poor to make me feel better, bowing to the strictures of the ton to make me feel better just not in the way he understands…”
Victoria buried her head in her hands, and her shoulders shook. Oh God no—not now. A black wall of despair threatened to rock her very defenses. If she gave in to it she would be useless for weeks. Her brother called it her melancholia. She had no name for it—she didn’t want to name it. To do so would be to give it a voice, a place in her life. The last bout had been when Colchester had died, although many times it had threatened to overwhelm her since then… her brother Henry marrying her best friend Agatha; Earl Harding, the man with whom she might have found comfort, finding his own love. They were leaving her all behind without a backwards glance. And then there had been the moment when she had fled Brambridge, running away from Bill’s continued requests to see her.
This was where the rules came in. They gave her life a rigid structure. That was why she acted in a strict fashion. They kept her sane.
Victoria swallowed and looked at the ceiling. What was the first rule of investigation? She swallowed again. She couldn’t remember. Her shoulders shook harder. Ponzi ran from her legs to the drawing room door and pawed at the casement. Victoria tried to move but her legs wouldn’t let her.
The door opened silently and Carruthers entered with a large tea tray. Without looking at her, he navigated the small chairs and deposited the teapot, cups and cake on the desk that sat in the corner. Frozen, she followed Carruthers’ progress as he carefully set out the tea items, not once raising his own gaze to hers.
“Pardon me, my lady, but when I heard your voice, I assumed you had visitors, so I brought in a tea tray,” Carruthers said, placing a spoon in the sugar well. “Might I pour you a cup of tea?”
Victoria nodded slowly. The banality of Carruthers’ conversation had a soporific effect on her body. Her shoulders stopped shaking and the feeling returned to her legs.
“I assume it is just the two sugars?”
Victoria wanted to smile. Carruthers knew to the granule how much sugar Victoria put in her tea.
“Just the one please, Carruthers.” Victoria licked her lips. “I’m sweet enough as it is.”
“Of course, Madam, pardon my mistake. I will punish myself accordingly.”
“I would suggest a good session of silver polishing would do the trick.” Victoria put out her hand to receive the proffered teacup. She looked quickly up into Carruthers’ face and winked. His sigh was followed by a smile.
“Of course, my lady. There is nothing I should like more.”
Make friends with the servants for they shall carry you through . That was the first rule of investigation. Victoria closed her eyes, relieved that the despair that had threatened to overcome her had receded to a safe distance. Lord Colchester couldn’t have realized when he had drummed those rules into her head
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