amazing how my childhood connection with Luka drove Alik to insanity.
âAlik! Sheâs going to church. Youâll come with us and take care of this family. Itâs your duty,â Abram commanded.
Alik grunted in anger, pressed a rough kiss to my head, and abruptly left the room. I heard the men follow him out the door to check on their fighters. When I looked up, Ivan hovered at the exit, watching me with a sympathetic gaze.
âTalia and my wife will also be at church tonight, Kisa. Theyâll be happy to see you there.â
I nodded and offered a small smile. âI hoped they would be, Papa Ivan. Iâll ⦠Iâll be happy to see them too ⦠Iâm glad you came in today. I love to see you too ⦠Iâ¦â I trailed off, my throat clogging with emotion.
For a moment, I saw raw pain reflected in his eyes, but he left without another word, and I slumped down on the seat behind my desk.
First things first, I had to organize the fighters and make sure The Dungeonâs business was done. Then I would take myself to church and mourn the boy I was supposed to hate ⦠but could never find it in my heart to do so.
Â
6
KISA
Serge dropped me off outside our Russian Orthodox Church. I stepped out into the stuffy night, black headdress and long-sleeved, calf-length skirted dress firmly in place as orthodox tradition demands. I quickly ran up the steps and went through the large doors, entering to the sound of the choir singing hymns from their rehearsal room upstairs. The large church was dark, a dark challenged only by the soft glow of candlelight. As always, when I entered this place, I glanced up to the paintings on the ceiling, images of the saints, of Mary holding Jesus.
A hand pressed gently on my shoulder. Looking to my left, Father Kruschevâs kind smile greeted me.
âFather,â I greeted and pressed a kiss to the back of his hand.
âAre you joining us on the food trucks tonight, child? We are a volunteer down and I could use your service,â he asked hopefully.
My heart began pounding at the thought of my defender sitting on the street, holding that jar. Before I had time to consider the consequences of my actions, my head nodded in agreement.
âExcellent,â Father Kruschev said, gesturing for me to light a candle. I walked past and he added, âIt pleases me to see you so dedicated to helping the needy, Kisa. It will purify your soul.â
I offered a tight smile but scurried away as fast as I could. I wasnât trying to save my soul tonight or trying to help the needy. I was serving my own selfish desire, a desireâno, a pressing need to see that man again, to see his face, to ask who he was ⦠why he was on the street.
Taking a long candle, I lit the wick with that of another and offered a silent prayer to my Luka. May he forever rest in peace.
Moving to the end of the pew, I crossed my chest to the crucifix hanging somberly on the wall. Clasping my hands, I closed my eyes.
Feeling as though my chest would crack, I was transported to the past â¦
Twelve years ago â¦
The New York summer was stifling, the humidity too much to bear. I lay on a towel as the sun blazed down on Brighton Beach. We always came here for the summer. The Bratva kings descended on this little slice of Russian heaven from our houses in downtown Brooklyn. Papa and his âassociatesâ would spend the summer months âdiscussing and taking care of businessâ while the kids and mothers would spend it lazing on the sand and eating ice cream.
I liked summer. It was a time I could get away from our rigid life in Brooklyn, a time that âthe heirsâ wouldnât be called away to learn their craft, a time when Rodion, Luka, and Alik could relax ⦠a time when I could hang out with Luka all day long.
Closing my eyes, I smiled at that thought as I soaked up the rays in my secluded spot.
âAlik! Sheâs going to church. Youâll come with us and take care of this family. Itâs your duty,â Abram commanded.
Alik grunted in anger, pressed a rough kiss to my head, and abruptly left the room. I heard the men follow him out the door to check on their fighters. When I looked up, Ivan hovered at the exit, watching me with a sympathetic gaze.
âTalia and my wife will also be at church tonight, Kisa. Theyâll be happy to see you there.â
I nodded and offered a small smile. âI hoped they would be, Papa Ivan. Iâll ⦠Iâll be happy to see them too ⦠Iâm glad you came in today. I love to see you too ⦠Iâ¦â I trailed off, my throat clogging with emotion.
For a moment, I saw raw pain reflected in his eyes, but he left without another word, and I slumped down on the seat behind my desk.
First things first, I had to organize the fighters and make sure The Dungeonâs business was done. Then I would take myself to church and mourn the boy I was supposed to hate ⦠but could never find it in my heart to do so.
Â
6
KISA
Serge dropped me off outside our Russian Orthodox Church. I stepped out into the stuffy night, black headdress and long-sleeved, calf-length skirted dress firmly in place as orthodox tradition demands. I quickly ran up the steps and went through the large doors, entering to the sound of the choir singing hymns from their rehearsal room upstairs. The large church was dark, a dark challenged only by the soft glow of candlelight. As always, when I entered this place, I glanced up to the paintings on the ceiling, images of the saints, of Mary holding Jesus.
A hand pressed gently on my shoulder. Looking to my left, Father Kruschevâs kind smile greeted me.
âFather,â I greeted and pressed a kiss to the back of his hand.
âAre you joining us on the food trucks tonight, child? We are a volunteer down and I could use your service,â he asked hopefully.
My heart began pounding at the thought of my defender sitting on the street, holding that jar. Before I had time to consider the consequences of my actions, my head nodded in agreement.
âExcellent,â Father Kruschev said, gesturing for me to light a candle. I walked past and he added, âIt pleases me to see you so dedicated to helping the needy, Kisa. It will purify your soul.â
I offered a tight smile but scurried away as fast as I could. I wasnât trying to save my soul tonight or trying to help the needy. I was serving my own selfish desire, a desireâno, a pressing need to see that man again, to see his face, to ask who he was ⦠why he was on the street.
Taking a long candle, I lit the wick with that of another and offered a silent prayer to my Luka. May he forever rest in peace.
Moving to the end of the pew, I crossed my chest to the crucifix hanging somberly on the wall. Clasping my hands, I closed my eyes.
Feeling as though my chest would crack, I was transported to the past â¦
Twelve years ago â¦
The New York summer was stifling, the humidity too much to bear. I lay on a towel as the sun blazed down on Brighton Beach. We always came here for the summer. The Bratva kings descended on this little slice of Russian heaven from our houses in downtown Brooklyn. Papa and his âassociatesâ would spend the summer months âdiscussing and taking care of businessâ while the kids and mothers would spend it lazing on the sand and eating ice cream.
I liked summer. It was a time I could get away from our rigid life in Brooklyn, a time that âthe heirsâ wouldnât be called away to learn their craft, a time when Rodion, Luka, and Alik could relax ⦠a time when I could hang out with Luka all day long.
Closing my eyes, I smiled at that thought as I soaked up the rays in my secluded spot.
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