French fries between us before taking a bite of his roast beef sandwich. I echo his movement, taking a bite of mine. My eyes close when the salty flavor hits my tongue and I hum with pleasure. When I open my eyes he’s watching me with an amused expression on his face.
“What?” I ask, feeling self-conscious.
“You’re a hummer.” He says before taking another bite of his sandwich.
I snort. “I’m a what?”
“You’re one of those people who enjoy what they’re eating so much they hum when they chew.”
I’ve never really thought about it and no one has ever mentioned it to me before, but he’s right. I love to eat and I do make noises when I’m chewing. “Is this a bad thing?” I ask, wiping my mouth with my napkin. “Is it repulsive?” I set my napkin down in my lap and spread it out.
He laughs and shakes his head. “No, not at all. It’s adorable actually and it makes me wonder what other things make you hum.”
I gasp at his outrageous comment, ball my napkin up in my fist and throw it at him. It hits his chest and lands in his lap. He tosses it back over to me with a wink. My cheeks are hot with embarrassment. “Wouldn’t you like to know?” I say before taking a sip of soda.
“I would like to know. I’m not going to lie and say I wouldn’t. I’m not going to pretend that staring at your sexy mouth doesn’t have me imagining one hundred different things it could do to me. I also wonder what kind of noises you’d make if my mouth was on your…”
“Stop.” I cut him off. “Jesus, Zack. You can’t say this stuff to me. I’m not ready for someone to say these things to me.” I shake my head. “I know you’re just being you, but I think the full Zack effect might be too much for me to handle right now. The past six weeks have been difficult for me, more difficult than you could probably imagine.” The sting of tears burns my eyes and I battle against it. I don’t want to cry tonight. I don’t want to cry ever again. How I have any tears left at this point is a mystery to me.
Zack places his hand on top of mine on the table. “Hey, I’m sorry. I’ll try to be less forthcoming with what I say to you from now on. This is the way I always am; I guess it never occurred to me that it might be too much for you to stomach.”
“No, don’t change who you are for me, Zack. Honestly, I’m not worth it. I’m a mess and it doesn’t take a lot to upset me these days.”
He squeezes my hand one final time before changing the subject. “How’s my uptight friend, Edwin, been treating you?”
***
Zack insists on walking me home after dinner and I’m glad for the company. I’m still not used to walking around the city on my own and I haven’t gone anywhere alone after dark. He’s quiet along the way and his silence surprises me.
We stop walking when we arrive at the front of my building. “This is me.” At a loss for what to do I shift the strap of my bag on my shoulder. My eyes scan all around us to avoid looking at him. This is starting to resemble the awkward goodbye of a first date.
Zack must sense my unease and he places his hand on my arm. “Relax, Janny. I’m not expecting a kiss goodnight.”
My face flushes, I’m embarrassed my thoughts are so transparent. When I look at him, the smile on his face immediately reassures me, removing all the awkwardness from the situation.
“Thank you for dinner and making sure I got home safely. I had a great time.”
He slides his hand down my arm and squeezes my fingers. “Can I take you out on a real date sometime? I know you said you’ve had a tough time lately, but I’m confident in my ability to keep your mind off whoever was dumb enough to let you get away.”
I’m tempted to say yes. I want to say
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