Read Online Quitting (previously published as Mastering the Art of Quitting) by Peg Streep - Free Book Online

we all use the word goal , a more specific discussion of the term is in order. What are goals anyway, and why are they important? Since goals direct our actions, human beings, by definition, are goal oriented. At the beginning, the original human goals—which we all continue to share—were simpler than the ones that crowd our minds in the twenty-first century. The human to-do list was once short but essential and focused on staying alive; finding food, water, and shelter; having sex; and belonging to a group. Now, at any given moment, each of us has an array of goals to which we devote varying degrees of attention. Some of them are so simple that we perform them without even consciously thinking about them. (If the goal is to drive to work, we have a series of interim goals—getting out of bed, showering, getting dressed, grabbing some coffee or breakfast, gathering the things we need for the day, locking the door, starting the car—that help propel us forward to achieving this goal.)
    A goal may be intrinsic or extrinsic. An intrinsic goal emanates from within the individual—sparked by the mental image we have or want to have of ourselves as well as our own immediate desires. As Richard M. Ryan and Edward L. Deci write, “ The most basic distinction is between intrinsic motivation , which refers to doing something because it is inherently interesting or enjoyable, and extrinsic motivation , which refers to doing something because it leads to a separable outcome.” Not surprisingly, intrinsically motivated goals garner the lion’s share of creativity and effort.
    These intrinsic goals can be abstract personal strivings and pertain to the development of the self (goals such as becoming more empathetic, standing up for oneself, making new friends, becoming more cultured, and achieving inner peace) or concrete (e.g., the goal of acting in such a way as to be perceived as intelligent or as a good worker). Extrinsic goals, on the other hand, have their origin in the outside world. They may be things someone else wants us to do(be a conscientious student, become a lawyer like Dad, be a better spouse) or may emanate from other nonsocial cues in the environment. As Ryan and Deci note, “Extrinsic motivation has typically been characterized as a pale and impoverished (even if powerful) form of motivation that contrasts with intrinsic motivation.” In later chapters, when we focus on mapping goals, answering the question of whether a goal is intrinsic or extrinsic to you will be key to your understanding of whether you need to quit and, more important, where you want to head next.
    Some goals are short term and decidedly concrete (pick up dry cleaning, buy cat litter, drive kids to school, send Uncle Dave a birthday card, pay bills). Others are mid-term goals, sometimes combining concrete and abstract goals (get more exercise to stay healthier, save money to move to a better school district, work on controlling temper so family dinners go more smoothly). Still others are long-term achievement goals (go to law school and become a partner in a firm, make lots of money, buy a boat and sail to Fiji, find the right mate for the rest of one’s life). Psychological theory has classified achievement goals by dividing them into three useful categories: Mastery goals are focused on the development of a skill or an area of competence or expertise. Performance-approach goals focus on attaining competence or expertise relative to other people. Performance-avoidance goals avoid incompetence in comparison with others.
    Each of us, over the course of life, will have a mix of both performance-approach and performance-avoidance goals. We choose some goals because of the promise they hold—some desired state or outcome. These are called approach goals because we initiate actions to effect or get closer to that desired outcome. The formula here is “If I do X, then Y will happen,” with X and Y