the kids living with me. Mom took care of them.â He gave a humorless laugh. âActually, she took care of everything. I was so lost in my grief, I couldnât see the toll her own grief was taking.â He blew out a sigh. âAnd I certainly didnât see how badly the kids were hurting.â
âYou canât blame yourself for that.â
He sighed. âYes, I can. I took a month off workâ¦life. Took a sabbatical to the mountains to do some soul-searching. Faith-searching.â
âWhat did you find out?â
âThat I felt more guilt than grief over my wifeâs death.â
âGuilt?â
He flushed, wondered how much to tell her. Then settled for saying, âBecause I was more passionate about my job than I was about my marriage.â
Empathy flashed, and she covered his hand with hers.He felt a zing, one he realized he was beginning to feel whenever he came into contact with her. He wondered about it, wanted to explore it, even as he did his best to push it away.
Then he was distracted by her lips tugging upward in a wry smile. âWhy do you think Iâm still single at the ripe old age of thirty-three?â
Before he could think of what to say to that, her eyes shifted then narrowed, and he knew she was listening to the voice in her earpiece. Then she said, âCopy that.â
He cleared his throat and decided to move away from personal stuff. âSo, do I get to go to work now?â
Cranking the car, she shifted it into gear and slid away from the curb. âAs soon as the SWAT team gets into place.â
Nick had been a judge for years, and no one had ever made such a fuss about his safety. âA SWAT team? Are you serious?â
âItâs just a precaution. These people have already infiltrated your home. It only makes sense that theyâre going to come after you at work. Since I canât talk you into staying home, this is the next best thing.â
He paused. Should he consider staying home? The de Lugo case was just under a week away. Should he go ahead and hide out until then? Everything in him shouted out in protest. The practical side of him came up with a mental checklist of pros and cons.
Pro: He could distribute the remaining cases on his docket without much trouble. Wayne could take a few, as could Sebastian Michaels, one of the other judges who shared in the rotation.
Con: It might send the wrong message to the children, i.e., if youâre threatened, tuck your tail and run.
Pro: Or it might teach them to assess the situation, recognize they need help and do the smart thing.
Nick sighed. But was it the smart thing to do? Was it necessary?
He had to admit it might be. Then again, he did have help. U.S. Marshals who were very good at their jobs.
âNick?â
He blinked, her voice pulling him from his thoughts. âHuh?â
âI said weâre ready. Weâve swept the courthouse, and there are SWAT members scattered around the rooftops. Also, the media is in a frenzy. Keep your head low and donât say a word to anyone.â
He didnât move for a brief moment. Then he said, âAll right. Letâs do it. Iâll get the files I need, but then weâll play it your way. Although it goes against everything in me, weâll go to a safe house and hide out.â
âI really do think that would be best. While I donât think the kids are in any immediate danger, that could change in the blink of an eye. We want to take preventive measures instead of having to react to an emergency. Iâll notify the two marshals guarding them of the change in plans.â
He reached up to rub his eyes in a weary gesture. âLindseyâs going to be furious about missing all of the end-of-school activities.â
âAt least sheâll be alive to get over it.â
Â
Carly pulled around to the back of the courthouse only to find it jammed with protestors holding signs and yelling
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