Read Online Promise to Cherish by Elizabeth Byler Younts - Free Book Online
Authors: Elizabeth Byler Younts
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mop back into the bucket. He sighed.
“Gum?” Wally offered Eli. He blinked rapidly and coughed loudly. Eli started to realize this was one of Wally’s usual ticks.
Eli chuckled. “What else do you have in your pocket?”
“Oh, smokes, gum, a few pieces of peppermint candy. My mom sends them in every so often. She sent me this coat. Nurse Eager Beaver always makes sure I get my mail but I’m not supposed to have them at all.”
Eli nodded. “Why are you being nice to me? Nurse Freeman told me that—”
He waved a hand at him.
“I was drugged up the day you came. I tricked the good nurse today. My lunacy isn’t as bad as they think.” Wally’seyebrow raised and reminded Eli of his hard-as-nails brother Mark.
“What?”
“I don’t need those pills.” He leaned forward on his knees as if trying to hide his twitch with a gesture for Eli to sit. He did, glad for a short break.
“Nurse Freeman said you had a breakdown after you came back from . . .” Eli stuttered when he spoke. He’d never really talked about the war or breakdowns.
He nodded a confirmation. “Still get these sort of— memories .” Twitch. “Almost seems like I’m still over there. But the drugs make it worse.”
“Why are you telling me all of this?” Eli leaned forward and asked in a loud whisper. It almost infuriated him. He didn’t want to get personal with the patients, or the staff, for that matter. He just wanted to do his job and leave. “I thought you hated me because I’m a C.O.”
“Come on, man, you’re like me.” His smile was part humorous and part cynical. “Angry all the time. You hate your life as much as I do. You’re not like the other C.O. do-gooders.”
Eli sloshed around the mop and bucket. He swallowed hard. Wally spoke the truth. He did hate working there and couldn’t easily fake a smile.
“Why don’t you just go home? You can leave, can’t you, if your parents take you? Maybe there’s—” He kept his eyes far away from Wally.
He shook his head rapidly. “Can’t do that. All my friends are dead. My mom dotes over me like I’m a child. I’m—”
“Afraid?”
Wally’s eyes sharpened before they softened but stayed diverted from Eli’s.
“Brenneman,” Nurse Freeman’s voice interrupted the two men. “Don’t put that away. There’s another mess in the hall.”
Wally elbowed Eli. “Go on, little miss maid.”
Eli laughed as he got up.
“What’s that?” Wally grabbed the magazine from Eli’s back pocket. He flipped through it and looked up at him.
“Oh. Pulp fiction. Do you mind?” Wally raised his eyebrows.
“Brenneman,” the nurse called out, sharper this time.
“Go ahead.” Wally nodded to him.
Their interlude rolled around his thoughts for the rest of the day. Wally had seemed so normal and real. He’d seemed almost like Eli himself. A grown man afraid of his past and unsure of how to move forward.
Hours later, as he lay on the cot in his room, Wally’s situation and DeWayne’s prayed words from earlier in the week pressed against him. Sleep had run far away from his busy mind. Praying wasn’t something he was good at, but he began breathing heated words from his mind to God. He told God how unfair this was, that it was too hard. He didn’t deserve to be treated this way. Without warning, he began weeping. Embarrassed by himself, he got up and turned on his light to wash his face with cold water. He caught his image in the small shaving mirror that was attached to the wall and wondered when he’d grown so angry. His face declared it with a furrowed brow and a set jaw. Was this his face now?
DeWayne’s prayer poured into his mind with the verse he’d referenced.
He must increase, but I must decrease.
In the silence of his room he pictured Floyd and the soldier Wally. Nurse Freeman’s words plagued his memory. Before the hospital, before his draft, for as long as he could remember, he always made sure he won—every last word, every bit of
“Gum?” Wally offered Eli. He blinked rapidly and coughed loudly. Eli started to realize this was one of Wally’s usual ticks.
Eli chuckled. “What else do you have in your pocket?”
“Oh, smokes, gum, a few pieces of peppermint candy. My mom sends them in every so often. She sent me this coat. Nurse Eager Beaver always makes sure I get my mail but I’m not supposed to have them at all.”
Eli nodded. “Why are you being nice to me? Nurse Freeman told me that—”
He waved a hand at him.
“I was drugged up the day you came. I tricked the good nurse today. My lunacy isn’t as bad as they think.” Wally’seyebrow raised and reminded Eli of his hard-as-nails brother Mark.
“What?”
“I don’t need those pills.” He leaned forward on his knees as if trying to hide his twitch with a gesture for Eli to sit. He did, glad for a short break.
“Nurse Freeman said you had a breakdown after you came back from . . .” Eli stuttered when he spoke. He’d never really talked about the war or breakdowns.
He nodded a confirmation. “Still get these sort of— memories .” Twitch. “Almost seems like I’m still over there. But the drugs make it worse.”
“Why are you telling me all of this?” Eli leaned forward and asked in a loud whisper. It almost infuriated him. He didn’t want to get personal with the patients, or the staff, for that matter. He just wanted to do his job and leave. “I thought you hated me because I’m a C.O.”
“Come on, man, you’re like me.” His smile was part humorous and part cynical. “Angry all the time. You hate your life as much as I do. You’re not like the other C.O. do-gooders.”
Eli sloshed around the mop and bucket. He swallowed hard. Wally spoke the truth. He did hate working there and couldn’t easily fake a smile.
“Why don’t you just go home? You can leave, can’t you, if your parents take you? Maybe there’s—” He kept his eyes far away from Wally.
He shook his head rapidly. “Can’t do that. All my friends are dead. My mom dotes over me like I’m a child. I’m—”
“Afraid?”
Wally’s eyes sharpened before they softened but stayed diverted from Eli’s.
“Brenneman,” Nurse Freeman’s voice interrupted the two men. “Don’t put that away. There’s another mess in the hall.”
Wally elbowed Eli. “Go on, little miss maid.”
Eli laughed as he got up.
“What’s that?” Wally grabbed the magazine from Eli’s back pocket. He flipped through it and looked up at him.
“Oh. Pulp fiction. Do you mind?” Wally raised his eyebrows.
“Brenneman,” the nurse called out, sharper this time.
“Go ahead.” Wally nodded to him.
Their interlude rolled around his thoughts for the rest of the day. Wally had seemed so normal and real. He’d seemed almost like Eli himself. A grown man afraid of his past and unsure of how to move forward.
Hours later, as he lay on the cot in his room, Wally’s situation and DeWayne’s prayed words from earlier in the week pressed against him. Sleep had run far away from his busy mind. Praying wasn’t something he was good at, but he began breathing heated words from his mind to God. He told God how unfair this was, that it was too hard. He didn’t deserve to be treated this way. Without warning, he began weeping. Embarrassed by himself, he got up and turned on his light to wash his face with cold water. He caught his image in the small shaving mirror that was attached to the wall and wondered when he’d grown so angry. His face declared it with a furrowed brow and a set jaw. Was this his face now?
DeWayne’s prayer poured into his mind with the verse he’d referenced.
He must increase, but I must decrease.
In the silence of his room he pictured Floyd and the soldier Wally. Nurse Freeman’s words plagued his memory. Before the hospital, before his draft, for as long as he could remember, he always made sure he won—every last word, every bit of
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