Read Online Private 10 - Suspicion by Kate Brian - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Kate Brian
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I wasn't sure if I wanted to hear this. But then, he had offered so little detail of his romantic past, and all I'd done was imply that I wanted to know. If I stopped him, I'd look even more immature and squeamish than I already did. So I bit my tongue and said nothing. Bring on the awkwardness!
"It was with an older woman," he said, an amused smile playing on his lips.
"Older like older?" I asked. Already I didn't like this.
"Yeah. As in I was a teenager and she was an adult."
Ew. "Okay."
"Talk about being worried about being good," Upton said, shaking his head. "I was terrified. It took me ages just to get up the guts to come out of the bathroom." I got a mental image of Upton, scrawny and half naked, cowering in a bathroom somewhere while this voluptuous older woman in red lingerie smoked a cigarette in bed, waiting for him. It all seemed so predatory and weird.
"But I finally did and there she was, totally naked, except for this big necklace made out of these sharp, gold leaves, which, for some reason, she neglected to take off," he said with a laugh. "Now I'm both too scared and too polite to say anything, so I just go with it. And the whole time, I'm trying to concentrate and not do anything stupid and make sure I'm respectful, and the whole time, this sodding heavy necklace keeps whacking me in the face. It was a nightmare." He was laughing full out now, so I forced myself to smile.
You wanted to know this stuff, Reed. You wanted to know where he s been.
"But of course by the time it was all over I didn't mind it anymore. I thought I was so cool and mature when it was done, you know? I was such a little twit." Upton said, shaking his head. "So I go striding back into the bathroom like I'm some kind of experienced playboy now, and I take one look in the mirror and I have dozens of these tiny little cuts all over my face. I had to tell my parents I was attacked by a cat."
"Did they believe you?" I asked, incredulous.
"Who knows? If they didn't, they never told me." Upton settled back in his seat and rested his arm on the back of the cushions. He tickled my shoulder with his fingertips. "So what about you? "
"Me?" I asked, trying to eradicate all the disturbing visuals from my mind.
"What was your first time like? " he asked.
I thought of Thomas and my heart flipped over and died, just like it did every time I got a vivid picture of his face. Those teasing blue eyes. The tiny scar on his jaw. His private just-forme smile.
"It was nothing as interesting as the story you just told," I said, looking down at my hands.
"Come on. I told you mine, now you tell me yours," Upton chided. I took a deep breath. "It was sweet. It was perfect, really." I smiled slightly, remembering how cautious Thomas had been with me. How slow and almost reverent. My heart suddenly ached at the thought of him. "It wasn't something I was expecting to do that night, but for once I let go and just did what I wanted to do in the moment. And then a couple weeks later... he died."
Upton's eyes clouded over. "Oh, God, Reed, I'm sorry. I'm such an idiot. I'd forgotten." He looped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me to him, kissing my forehead. "We don't have to talk about this."
"Okay."
He held me there for a long while. I breathed in and out, in and out, until the images went away. Until the aching subsided. I didn't want to be this person. This dark and gloomy person who ruined a perfectly gorgeous day out on the Caribbean Sea talking about her doomed first love with the guy she was currently dating. I wanted to move on. I wanted to be free of the whole thing already. I just wanted to be able to let myself go with Upton. Be completely and truly with him and no one else. Why couldn't I just do that?
"Forget this crap," Upton said suddenly, leaning back to look into my face. "Who wants to talk about awkward, meaningless, stupid first times? All that really matters is our first time. Which, by the way, does not have to happen anytime
"It was with an older woman," he said, an amused smile playing on his lips.
"Older like older?" I asked. Already I didn't like this.
"Yeah. As in I was a teenager and she was an adult."
Ew. "Okay."
"Talk about being worried about being good," Upton said, shaking his head. "I was terrified. It took me ages just to get up the guts to come out of the bathroom." I got a mental image of Upton, scrawny and half naked, cowering in a bathroom somewhere while this voluptuous older woman in red lingerie smoked a cigarette in bed, waiting for him. It all seemed so predatory and weird.
"But I finally did and there she was, totally naked, except for this big necklace made out of these sharp, gold leaves, which, for some reason, she neglected to take off," he said with a laugh. "Now I'm both too scared and too polite to say anything, so I just go with it. And the whole time, I'm trying to concentrate and not do anything stupid and make sure I'm respectful, and the whole time, this sodding heavy necklace keeps whacking me in the face. It was a nightmare." He was laughing full out now, so I forced myself to smile.
You wanted to know this stuff, Reed. You wanted to know where he s been.
"But of course by the time it was all over I didn't mind it anymore. I thought I was so cool and mature when it was done, you know? I was such a little twit." Upton said, shaking his head. "So I go striding back into the bathroom like I'm some kind of experienced playboy now, and I take one look in the mirror and I have dozens of these tiny little cuts all over my face. I had to tell my parents I was attacked by a cat."
"Did they believe you?" I asked, incredulous.
"Who knows? If they didn't, they never told me." Upton settled back in his seat and rested his arm on the back of the cushions. He tickled my shoulder with his fingertips. "So what about you? "
"Me?" I asked, trying to eradicate all the disturbing visuals from my mind.
"What was your first time like? " he asked.
I thought of Thomas and my heart flipped over and died, just like it did every time I got a vivid picture of his face. Those teasing blue eyes. The tiny scar on his jaw. His private just-forme smile.
"It was nothing as interesting as the story you just told," I said, looking down at my hands.
"Come on. I told you mine, now you tell me yours," Upton chided. I took a deep breath. "It was sweet. It was perfect, really." I smiled slightly, remembering how cautious Thomas had been with me. How slow and almost reverent. My heart suddenly ached at the thought of him. "It wasn't something I was expecting to do that night, but for once I let go and just did what I wanted to do in the moment. And then a couple weeks later... he died."
Upton's eyes clouded over. "Oh, God, Reed, I'm sorry. I'm such an idiot. I'd forgotten." He looped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me to him, kissing my forehead. "We don't have to talk about this."
"Okay."
He held me there for a long while. I breathed in and out, in and out, until the images went away. Until the aching subsided. I didn't want to be this person. This dark and gloomy person who ruined a perfectly gorgeous day out on the Caribbean Sea talking about her doomed first love with the guy she was currently dating. I wanted to move on. I wanted to be free of the whole thing already. I just wanted to be able to let myself go with Upton. Be completely and truly with him and no one else. Why couldn't I just do that?
"Forget this crap," Upton said suddenly, leaning back to look into my face. "Who wants to talk about awkward, meaningless, stupid first times? All that really matters is our first time. Which, by the way, does not have to happen anytime
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