Read Online Priestley Plays Four by J. B. Priestley - Free Book Online Page B

still in a dazed fashion, drinks himself. We begin to hear the laughter that opens next scene as this one fades out
.
SCENE TWO
    Room in castle, as in Act One, but light is different. KING, CAPT. PLUNKET and DIMMOCK are sitting drinking, with herald or LAMISON in attendance as cupbearer. KING is dressed as before, CAPT. P. is in medieval costume without armour, and DIMMOCK is exactly as he was in Act One. They are in high spirits, roaring with laughter, and already rather tight
.
    KING:
(As laughter subsides.)
We used to know rather a good one – the one about the three chapmen who met in Camelot. Can’t quite remember it all – but remind us to tell it to you next time we meet. Cupbearer!
    CUPBEARER fills the tankards as talk continues
.
    CAPT. P.: Talking about remembering, your Majesty, I’ve just remembered something.
    KING: So have I.
(Pointing to DIMMOCK.)
He’s the second fella I’ve seen today not properly dressed. Other fella’s in the dungeon. Wanted our daughter.
    CAPT. P.: I’ve just remembered that Dimmock and I have a scheme.
    KING: Who’s Dimmock?
    DIMMOCK: I’m Dimmock, sir.
    KING: Then you’re not properly dressed, Dimmock. What did you say you had, Sir Skip?
    CAPT. P.: A scheme, your Majesty – a plan – a device – an idea. Bags of money in it.
    KING: Bags of money? Where?
    DIMMOCK: In this scheme, your Majesty.
    KING: I doubt it. Doesn’t seem to me to be anything in it. Unless of course Dimmock knows more than you do.
    DIMMOCK: I
am
Dimmock.
    KING: Well, how far does that take us? No, we’ve turned down hundreds of ideas better than that. It lacks body. Cupbearer!
(He motions him to fill up again.)
This wine has some body in it. Your scheme hasn’t. That’s the difference.
    DIMMOCK:
(To CAPT. P.)
Your turn. I give up.
    CAPT. P.:
(Impressively.)
Your Majesty – I beg leave to drink to your health and happiness and the continued prosperity of your kingdom of Peradore.
(Drinks.)
    KING: Much obliged, Sir Skip – though we must point out that our kingdom of Peradore is anything but prosperous –
    CAPT. P.: But Dimmock and I are ready to bring you bags and bags and bags of money –
    KING: That’s better. Have you a scheme?
    CAPT. P.: Yes, sir. Now – where we come from, everybody wants to go somewhere else –
    KING: Why?
    CAPT. P.: Just for a change and a rest from our wonderful way of life.
    DIMMOCK: Everybody saves money to visit some other country.
    CAPT. P.: And we think they ought to come here – to Peradore –
    DIMMOCK: Conducted tours – see the castles – see the knights – see the dragons –
    CAPT. P.: We’ll have to have one of your enchanters working for us, of course, looking after the transport –
    DIMMOCK: Then the money’d come rolling in –
    KING: To me? No, of course not.
    DIMMOCK: Your Majesty could have a seat on the board and a nice holding of the original stock –
    KING: Boards and stocks? Don’t know what you’re talking about. What about those bags and bags of money?
    CAPT. P.: You do what our rulers do. As soon as people have money, you take it away from them in taxes –
    KING: Taxes? Nonsense! A guilder here – a groat or two there – we know about taxes –
    DIMMOCK: But on our plan you take half they’ve got – or three-quarters –
    CAPT. P.: You charge ’em for all the castles – administration and security – for having a roof over their head – for their clothes and their beds – for the roads and the paths –
    KING:
(Derisively.)
And for the air they’re breathing – eh?
    DIMMOCK: Well, that’s new – but you might get away with it – worth trying –
    KING:
(In a passion.)
Worth trying! Might get away with it! Why – you impudent, greedy scoundrels – we’ll have you flogged for talking such stuff to us. Cupbearer, summon the guard.
(As Cupbearer hastens to door to bring guards, who are the two SOLDIERS we saw before.)
Fellas here have been hanged, drawn and quartered for doing less than you’re asking me to do. We