Read Online Pray for Darkness by Virginia Locke - Free Book Online

don’t know why. I give him yet that other victory as he claims me, marking me where no one else can see.
    His cock keeps pushing into me. It never stops. A slick, wet knife cutting through me. It should feel sharp. It should feel more painful. But my body was designed for this—to welcome, to please, to acquiesce—even when I don’t want to. He’s raping me, and all I can think is that my body was made for this.
    “Sasha,” he whispers.
    Hearing my name draws me from the dream, back into this reality. I don’t look at him. I don’t want to see him as Trev. I don’t want to see him as anybody. I don’t even want to be here, in my own body. I don’t want these memories. I don’t want this.
    But sometimes what you want doesn’t matter, only what you need does. Some sick part of me revels in my misery. It takes my memories and twists them into this moment until the two are inextricable.
    Until I don’t know what’s real and what’s a dream.
    Until the entire world is a nightmare.
    ***
    Trevor
    My eyes are shut. I don’t know if she’s still screaming or if it’s just my ears ringing.
    Her body is shaking, but she isn’t fighting. There’s no strength behind it. She’s just flopping, like she’s shooing away a fly, or is just so damn tired she can barely make her body move anymore.
    This is what she wanted, wasn’t it? This is what she asked for.
    But it isn’t. It can’t be. No one asks for this. No one who truly asks for this wants it, right?
    I don’t know. I don’t know anymore. Should I stop? Will she hate me if I stop?
    I bite her neck. It’s salty. I don’t know if it’s her sweat or tears, or mine. I dig my fingers deeper into her skin, holding her still as I thrust faster and faster.
    I just want it to be over.
    Please God, let me finish fast so this can be over.
    ***
    Sasha
    When I think of that sick fucking asshole, that disgusting nasty piece of shit, my legs start to ache like I have cramps. Then my stomach cramps like I’m constipated. I get sick, so fucking sick, like I’m going to throw up everywhere. It hurts. It just hurts so goddamn much and it never stops. It’s like I’m sinking into that pain. It’s like I’m being pulled underwater and that strange ringing fills my ears, and I feel like the world is larger than it is, like there is more space between me and every object around me, like I’m truly alone in an ocean within myself. Panic breeds in all that empty space, clawing through my skull, making that terrible ringing so loud that I feel like I’m going to throw up everywhere.
    I want to sink further into the places where it hurts. I want to sink faster so I’ll drown and I won’t have to feel anything anymore. But no matter how far I fall, I don’t drown. It just gets darker. That horrible, disgusting sound gets louder. And I disappear beneath all that pain, all that panic, until there is no human left, just a scarred, scared, desperate animal rotating endlessly between clawing at the water as it tries to swim to safety and giving up.
    There’s a reason why I picked Trevor.
    I don’t want to think about that reason.
    I shut my eyes and dig my hands into the mattress, screaming, screaming, screaming for it to stop and it doesn’t.
    It never does. He just keeps thrusting, pace never changing regardless of whether I fight against it or just lie back and take it, groaning with a pleasure that makes me sick, his tongue so far down my throat I can barely breathe.
    He cums deep inside me, filling me up so deep that it feels like his semen is swimming up into my stomach. Like its climbing into my heart. Like I have something tainted inside me. Something dirty. Something that’s infected my blood and become a part of me. Something I can never wash out.

Chapter 6
    Trevor
    Her body is damp and still so soft. She lies against me in the way I’d dreamed she would when I walked up to her apartment earlier today, in the same way I’d imagined she would ever since I was