Read Online Plays Unpleasant by George Bernard Shaw - Free Book Online

woman, presentably ladylike, but still her father’s daughter. Nevertheless fresh and attractive, and none the worse for being vital and energetic rather than delicate and refined
.
    COKANE [
quickly taking the arm of Trench, who is staring as if transfixed
] Recollect yourself, Harry: presence of mind, presence of mind! [
He strolls with him towards the hotel. The waiter comes out with the beer
]. Kellner: ceci-là est notre table. Est-ce que vous comprenez Français?
    WAITER . Yes, zare. Oll right, zare.
    THE GENTLEMAN [
to his porter
] Place those things on that table. [
The porter does not understand
].
    WAITER [
interposing
] Zese zhentellmenn are using zis table, zare. Vould you mind –
    THE GENTLEMAN [
severely
] You should have told me so before. [
To Cokane, with fierce condescension
] I regret the mistake, sir.
    COKANE . Dont mention it, my dear sir: dont mention it. Retain the place, I beg.
    THE GENTLEMAN [
coldly turning his back on him
] Thank you. [
To the porter
] Place them on that table. [
The porter makes no movement until the gentleman points to the parcels and peremptorily raps on another table, nearer the gate
].
    PORTER . Ja wohl, gnäd’g’ Herr. [
He puts down the parcels
].
    THE GENTLEMAN [
taking out a handful of money
] Waiter.
    WAITER [
awestruck
] Yes, zare.
    THE GENTLEMAN . Tea. For two. Out here.
    WAITER . Yes, zare. [
He goes into the hotel
].
    The gentleman selects a small coin from his handful of money, and gives it to the porter, who receives it with a submissive touch to his cap, and goes out, not daring to speak. His daughter sits down and opens a parcel of photographs. The gentleman takes out a Baedeker; places a chair for himself; and then, before sitting down, looks truculently at Cokane, as if waiting for him to take himself off. Cokane, not at all abashed, resumes his place at the other table with an air of modest good breeding, and calls to Trench, who is prowling irresolutely in the background
.
    COKANE . Trench, my dear fellow: your beer is waiting for you. [
He drinks
].
    TRENCH [
glad of the excuse to come back to his chair
] Thank you, Cokane. [
He also drinks
].
    COKANE . By the way, Harry, I have often meant to ask you: is Lady Roxdale your mother’s sister or your father’s?
    This shot tells immediately. The gentleman is perceptibly interested
.
    TRENCH . My mother’s, of course. What put that into your head?
    COKANE . Nothing. I was just thinking – hm! She will expect you to marry, Harry: a doctor ought to marry.
    TRENCH . What has she got to do with it?
    COKANE . A great deal, dear boy. She looks forward to floating your wife in society in London.
    TRENCH . What rot!
    COKANE . Ah, you are young, dear boy: you dont know the importance of these things; apparently idle ceremonial trifles, really the springs and wheels of a great aristocratic system. [
The waiter comes back with the tea things, which he brings to the gentleman’s table. Cokane rises and addresses the gentleman
]. My dear sir, excuse my addressing you; but I cannot help feeling that you prefer this table, and that we are in your way.
    THE GENTLEMAN [
graciously
] Thank you. Blanche: this gentleman very kindly offers us his table, if you would prefer it.
    BLANCHE . Oh, thanks: it makes no difference.
    THE GENTLEMAN [
to Cokane
] We are fellow travellers, I believe, sir.
    COKANE . Fellow travellers and fellow countrymen. Ah, we rarely feel the charm of our own tongue until it reaches our ears under a foreign sky. You have no doubt noticed that?
    THE GENTLEMAN [
a little puzzled
] Hm! From a romantic point of view, possibly, very possibly. As a matter of fact, the sound of English makes me feel at home; and I dislike feeling at home when I am abroad. It is not precisely what one goes to the expense for. [
He looks at Trench
]. I think this gentleman travelled with us also.
    COKANE [
acting as master of the ceremonies
] My valued friend, Dr Trench. [
The gentleman and Trench