He quickly jots down cities and dates, and then we calculate the time differences for each city.
"Johanna, I'll check online for the time differences and email them to you. You'd better get to sleep. You look...exhausted," he says.
"I am," I tell him. I don't want to admit that, because I miss him so much, I'm feeling so damn depressed. Once we log off, I grab a pillow and hold it against my middle while I bury my face in a second pillow. Only this way do I feel safe, letting loose with my tears. I love him so damn much! I miss him horribly!
Chapter 6
A s we hopscotch across the United States, it becomes increasingly difficult for me to hide my feelings. One day, I just can't get out of bed so I can get to our scheduled practice. By now, we're in St. Louis, Missouri. It's a pretty city, but all I see is Marcus' face in front of my eyes as I miss him. Everything reminds me of him. Finally, I'm able to get out of bed two hours late. But only because Tim and Linny are banging on my door and I don't want them irritating other hotel guests.
"Okay, okay, I'm up!" I yell in irritation. Looking at my reflection in the mirror, I gasp. "I'll be there in thirty minutes! I...overslept," I lie. I hurry into the shower, then, allowing my hair to stay wet, I tie it back and apply a light coating of makeup to my face. I pick a brightly colored top and jeans, with trainers.
I make it through that night's performance, but only just. I scuttle into my dressing room, not wanting the blokes to see my ravaged face.
I hear one of them knocking on my door.
"Yeah, what is it?" I ask.
"We're going out for a burger and chips. You want to join us?" Laslow asks.
"Sorry. I'm really exhausted. I just want to sleep." Now, my problem isn't being unable to sleep; all I want to do is sleep! I don't know what's going on with me. I'm normally an even-keeled woman, able to handle almost anything.
'Okay. Have one of the guys take you back to the hotel - unless you'd like one of us to go with you."
"I'm fine. I'll just get someone to take me back. All I want to do is read or crochet," I tell Laslow through the closed door.
"Okay. We'll see you in the morning - on time this time!"
I wince. "Okay," I say meekly.
In my room, I fiddle with the alarm clock, vowing to buy one I can operate without reading a small novel of instructions. I think I've got it set for the right time - I'll find out in the morning. After figuring the clock out, I connect with Marcus.
"Hey, beautiful! How are you? How'd the concert go?"
"It went well! Really well! I'm actually excited, but I decided to come back to my room so I could chat with you. How was your day?"
"I got quite a bit done - actually, I use work to keep from missing you. I've asked most of my clients to send me as much work as they have available. I should have a banner quarter by the time you come back!"
I choose to look at the bright side and I grin. "That's good! At least, you're setting some good money against those times when you can't find much work. That's what we're doing here - earning a bumload of money - Tim was teasing me the other day, telling me to build up my old-age fund. One of the blokes laughed, saying that I'm a kid and the old-age fund is more their worry."
Marcus laughed. "I can only imagine! So how do your days over there go?" He seems to have a look of worry in his eyes - I'll need to make sure that my face looks normal when I get onto Skype to visit with him. I make a mental note.
"The same as in England, actually. We wake up in our rooms, get ready for our day of practice, and then we leave for the concert venue and perform." No way am I telling him that I couldn't get out of bed for two hours this morning!
What I don't know at this time is that Tim, Linny and Laslow have contacted Marcus, telling him that I'm falling apart out of loneliness for him. His look of worry is something he can't hide, but I think that's because of my physical appearance. After we log off, I roll into
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