slightly.
“Missy,” her husband says gently. He’s embarrassed for her. “Sorry, doc, I think the meds have gone to her head.”
“That’s very likely the case,” I say with a wink, signing the birth certificate.
Missy nudges her husband with her arm; the one not cradling their fresh, sleepy baby. “I just thought I’d ask.”
“You’re always trying to hook someone up with your sister.” Her husband shakes his head, turning back to look at their baby. He smiles, gently grazing the side of his finger across her chubby cheek. He’s itching for his chance to hold her, I can tell.
“I’m sorry, but he’s very good looking, he’s tatted up, and he delivers freaking babies for crying out loud,” Missy says. “Why did you go into this field, doctor? What made you want to deliver babies?”
I pause. No one’s ever asked me that question before except a few times in med school, and even then I never really gave an honest answer. It always seemed silly coming from someone who looked like me. I’m not supposed to be sentimental. I’m supposed to be damaged and deep and dark. I don’t see a reason I can’t be everything and then some.
“It’s exciting,” I say. “There’s never a dull moment.”
I neglect to mention the part about how my family is slightly fucked up and all kinds of broken, and that all I ever wanted was to be a part of a normal family. The next best thing I could think of was delivering joy to other people’s families.
Missy smiles and nods before returning to tend to her suckling baby. I think she was expecting a better answer than the generic one I gave her.
I head to the door, stopping and turning back to them. “You might forget your podiatrist. You might forget the urgent care doctor who diagnosed you with a mild case of shingles five years ago. But you never forget the person who delivered your baby.”
It’s the most honest answer to that question I’ve ever given in my adult life. I don’t want to be forgotten.
“Got any more for me?” I ask when I breeze past the nurse’s station.
“Not yet, doc,” one of them calls back. “I think thirty-seven’s going to go soon though.”
“I’ll be in the on call room.” I’m tired. I hardly slept at all at Lauryn’s. I spent the better part of the afternoon watching her sleep. God, she’s so fucking beautiful. Her mouth would dance open as she slept, probably dreaming, and every so often she’d let out a soft sigh and turn her head from side to side but never waking. I could watch her for hours.
I miss her.
I miss Lauryn.
I’ve missed her for ten goddamned years, and in ten years, it never got any easier.
I crawl into an on call bed and turn out the lights, making sure my pager is one before I press my head into the cool side of a flat pillow. A smile tugs on the corners of my mouth as I shut my eyes, Lauryn’s face in the forefront of my mind.
It’s been a long time since anyone’s made me smile like that.
ELEVEN – LAURYN
“Soak it up, Dr. Pierce. Your looks aren’t going to last forever.” I’m in a mood today. “Enjoy it while you can.”
“Excuse me?” Sutton adjusts his nametag as he slides behind the table I’ve set up that Monday morning. I haven’t seen him since our last event, when he iced my ankle and treated me like a fragile China doll before jetting off to work a twenty-four hour shift at the hospital. A group of nurses amble past our table, all eyes on me. One waves and another winks. The third one whips her hair over her shoulder. “You think I like this kind of attention?”
“Isn’t that why you went into this field?” I ask. “You get to be surrounded by women all day, every day. All kinds of attention.”
I don’t know what’s wrong with me today. I’ve been an anxious, confused wreck since he left, unable to reconcile my sudden warmth toward him with the decade-old resentment I’ve kept safely in the forefront
“Missy,” her husband says gently. He’s embarrassed for her. “Sorry, doc, I think the meds have gone to her head.”
“That’s very likely the case,” I say with a wink, signing the birth certificate.
Missy nudges her husband with her arm; the one not cradling their fresh, sleepy baby. “I just thought I’d ask.”
“You’re always trying to hook someone up with your sister.” Her husband shakes his head, turning back to look at their baby. He smiles, gently grazing the side of his finger across her chubby cheek. He’s itching for his chance to hold her, I can tell.
“I’m sorry, but he’s very good looking, he’s tatted up, and he delivers freaking babies for crying out loud,” Missy says. “Why did you go into this field, doctor? What made you want to deliver babies?”
I pause. No one’s ever asked me that question before except a few times in med school, and even then I never really gave an honest answer. It always seemed silly coming from someone who looked like me. I’m not supposed to be sentimental. I’m supposed to be damaged and deep and dark. I don’t see a reason I can’t be everything and then some.
“It’s exciting,” I say. “There’s never a dull moment.”
I neglect to mention the part about how my family is slightly fucked up and all kinds of broken, and that all I ever wanted was to be a part of a normal family. The next best thing I could think of was delivering joy to other people’s families.
Missy smiles and nods before returning to tend to her suckling baby. I think she was expecting a better answer than the generic one I gave her.
I head to the door, stopping and turning back to them. “You might forget your podiatrist. You might forget the urgent care doctor who diagnosed you with a mild case of shingles five years ago. But you never forget the person who delivered your baby.”
It’s the most honest answer to that question I’ve ever given in my adult life. I don’t want to be forgotten.
“Got any more for me?” I ask when I breeze past the nurse’s station.
“Not yet, doc,” one of them calls back. “I think thirty-seven’s going to go soon though.”
“I’ll be in the on call room.” I’m tired. I hardly slept at all at Lauryn’s. I spent the better part of the afternoon watching her sleep. God, she’s so fucking beautiful. Her mouth would dance open as she slept, probably dreaming, and every so often she’d let out a soft sigh and turn her head from side to side but never waking. I could watch her for hours.
I miss her.
I miss Lauryn.
I’ve missed her for ten goddamned years, and in ten years, it never got any easier.
I crawl into an on call bed and turn out the lights, making sure my pager is one before I press my head into the cool side of a flat pillow. A smile tugs on the corners of my mouth as I shut my eyes, Lauryn’s face in the forefront of my mind.
It’s been a long time since anyone’s made me smile like that.
ELEVEN – LAURYN
“Soak it up, Dr. Pierce. Your looks aren’t going to last forever.” I’m in a mood today. “Enjoy it while you can.”
“Excuse me?” Sutton adjusts his nametag as he slides behind the table I’ve set up that Monday morning. I haven’t seen him since our last event, when he iced my ankle and treated me like a fragile China doll before jetting off to work a twenty-four hour shift at the hospital. A group of nurses amble past our table, all eyes on me. One waves and another winks. The third one whips her hair over her shoulder. “You think I like this kind of attention?”
“Isn’t that why you went into this field?” I ask. “You get to be surrounded by women all day, every day. All kinds of attention.”
I don’t know what’s wrong with me today. I’ve been an anxious, confused wreck since he left, unable to reconcile my sudden warmth toward him with the decade-old resentment I’ve kept safely in the forefront
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