Read Online Picture Perfect Murder (Ryli Sinclair 1) by Jenna St. James - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Jenna St. James
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my tongue even harder.
Throwing up his hands, Garrett stalked over to me. “I get a
call from the local hardware store reporting an old lady had just backed a ’65
Falcon into their sign and never bothered to stop.”
“First off, watch who you’re calling old. And another thing,
you can’t prove it was me!”
“Wait! Tell me the Falcon is okay!” I demanded, scared to
death my dream car was totaled.
“Ha! Damn straight it’s okay. Nothing can hurt that car,” my
aunt said from the jail cell bench.
“Not only are you the only person in town to own a ’65
Falcon, but they also have surveillance cameras on the front of their store. So
I know for a fact it was your crazy no-pants-wearing ass.”
“Humph,” my aunt said, crossing her legs. Not a good idea…I
saw more thigh on her than I ever wanted to see.
“Ask her where her pants are,” Garrett demanded when he
noticed my visible shutter.
“Here’s the thing,” Aunt Shirley said. “I was on my way to
the hardware store to pick up a new rake. I was getting out of the car when I
noticed I accidentally forgot to put on my pants.”
Come
again?
“Wait,” I said. “Hadn’t you just been outside?”
“Hey,” my aunt exclaimed standing up, her shirt riding even
higher on her thighs.
“Sit down!” Garrett and I shouted.
My aunt plopped back down on the bench. “Anyway, like I
said, I realized I accidentally forgot my pants and hightailed it outta there. I
might have hit the sign. I’m not sure. So I go home to rectify the oversight,”
she said, glaring daggers at Garrett. “I’m walking toward the house when I
smell the fire—”
“Oh, my God, there was a fire?” I yelled.
“Oh, yes,” Garrett said staring my aunt down.
My aunt held up her hand. “I’m telling the story. So anyway,
I smell the fire and head to the back of the house. See, I’d raked a couple leaves
and broken the rake, which was why I needed a new one. Thing is, I thought I’d put out the fire before leaving to go to the store, but I guess not.”
“First, the fact we’re under a no burn order should have
been the first indication you shouldn’t be doing this. Secondly, the fact you
were outside raking pretend leaves naked should also be—”
“Pipe down. I wasn’t exactly naked.”
Closing my eyes I counted to five. “Aunt Shirley, it’s August,
there are no leaves to rake.”
“There were a few,” she countered.
“How did y’all end up looking like you do?” I asked, not
really sure I wanted to know.
“Well, when I noticed the leaves were on fire, I hurried and
grabbed the hose. Suddenly out of nowhere this lunkhead,” Aunt Shirley said,
pointing to Garrett, “runs straight for me, screaming and yelling.”
Garrett’s scratched cheek had started to develop a tic and
his face was bright red. Knowing he was going to blow at any second, I
fluttered my hands quickly for Aunt Shirley to continue. “So of course I got
frightened! I’m just an old lady with a fragile heart condition.” I knew this
to be a lie. “My first reaction was to protect myself and my virtue, so I
turned the hose on him.”
“Yes,” Garrett said, “even after I yelled for her to stop,
she just kept on spraying me. Then a spark jumped onto her decrepit wooden shed
and sent it up in flames.”
“Hey, watch who you’re calling decrepit there, sonny!”
I put my hand up to stop Garrett from charging into the
holding cell and clobbering my aunt. I remember it clearly because it was the
first time I’d ever touched him.
It left an impression.
My aunt leaned forward on the bench. “As I turned to put out
the fire on the shed, this baboon charges me, knocks me to the ground, and
starts rolling around with me. Little pervert! Probably trying to get his
jollies off on my account. What’s the matter, boy, can’t find a girl your own
age?” my aunt taunted.
I laughed. I couldn’t help it. The thought of big, hunky
Garrett rolling around on the ground with my
Throwing up his hands, Garrett stalked over to me. “I get a
call from the local hardware store reporting an old lady had just backed a ’65
Falcon into their sign and never bothered to stop.”
“First off, watch who you’re calling old. And another thing,
you can’t prove it was me!”
“Wait! Tell me the Falcon is okay!” I demanded, scared to
death my dream car was totaled.
“Ha! Damn straight it’s okay. Nothing can hurt that car,” my
aunt said from the jail cell bench.
“Not only are you the only person in town to own a ’65
Falcon, but they also have surveillance cameras on the front of their store. So
I know for a fact it was your crazy no-pants-wearing ass.”
“Humph,” my aunt said, crossing her legs. Not a good idea…I
saw more thigh on her than I ever wanted to see.
“Ask her where her pants are,” Garrett demanded when he
noticed my visible shutter.
“Here’s the thing,” Aunt Shirley said. “I was on my way to
the hardware store to pick up a new rake. I was getting out of the car when I
noticed I accidentally forgot to put on my pants.”
Come
again?
“Wait,” I said. “Hadn’t you just been outside?”
“Hey,” my aunt exclaimed standing up, her shirt riding even
higher on her thighs.
“Sit down!” Garrett and I shouted.
My aunt plopped back down on the bench. “Anyway, like I
said, I realized I accidentally forgot my pants and hightailed it outta there. I
might have hit the sign. I’m not sure. So I go home to rectify the oversight,”
she said, glaring daggers at Garrett. “I’m walking toward the house when I
smell the fire—”
“Oh, my God, there was a fire?” I yelled.
“Oh, yes,” Garrett said staring my aunt down.
My aunt held up her hand. “I’m telling the story. So anyway,
I smell the fire and head to the back of the house. See, I’d raked a couple leaves
and broken the rake, which was why I needed a new one. Thing is, I thought I’d put out the fire before leaving to go to the store, but I guess not.”
“First, the fact we’re under a no burn order should have
been the first indication you shouldn’t be doing this. Secondly, the fact you
were outside raking pretend leaves naked should also be—”
“Pipe down. I wasn’t exactly naked.”
Closing my eyes I counted to five. “Aunt Shirley, it’s August,
there are no leaves to rake.”
“There were a few,” she countered.
“How did y’all end up looking like you do?” I asked, not
really sure I wanted to know.
“Well, when I noticed the leaves were on fire, I hurried and
grabbed the hose. Suddenly out of nowhere this lunkhead,” Aunt Shirley said,
pointing to Garrett, “runs straight for me, screaming and yelling.”
Garrett’s scratched cheek had started to develop a tic and
his face was bright red. Knowing he was going to blow at any second, I
fluttered my hands quickly for Aunt Shirley to continue. “So of course I got
frightened! I’m just an old lady with a fragile heart condition.” I knew this
to be a lie. “My first reaction was to protect myself and my virtue, so I
turned the hose on him.”
“Yes,” Garrett said, “even after I yelled for her to stop,
she just kept on spraying me. Then a spark jumped onto her decrepit wooden shed
and sent it up in flames.”
“Hey, watch who you’re calling decrepit there, sonny!”
I put my hand up to stop Garrett from charging into the
holding cell and clobbering my aunt. I remember it clearly because it was the
first time I’d ever touched him.
It left an impression.
My aunt leaned forward on the bench. “As I turned to put out
the fire on the shed, this baboon charges me, knocks me to the ground, and
starts rolling around with me. Little pervert! Probably trying to get his
jollies off on my account. What’s the matter, boy, can’t find a girl your own
age?” my aunt taunted.
I laughed. I couldn’t help it. The thought of big, hunky
Garrett rolling around on the ground with my
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