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Authors: Patricia Fry
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gritted her teeth. She was obviously running out of patience. “What do you mean?” she insisted.
“We must be made from the same mold,” she said.
“Stop talking in riddles. What are you saying?”
Savannah glanced over at Michael, lowered her voice a little, and said, “Don’t you remember when I was struggling with the same dilemma—should I commit to Michael or not? Am I ready—am I even capable of a meaningful relationship? Oh, Michael was ready. He knew what he wanted. But I was so confused.” Savannah became more reticent—introspective. And then she looked into her sister’s brown eyes. “I almost ruined my life, Bri. I had what I always wanted right in the palm of my hand and I almost let it go. I almost walked away.”
Brianna’s face softened. “Why do you think that was?” she asked.
Savannah thought about it for a moment and then said, “I wasn’t able to trust myself.” She cocked her head and looked off into the distance. “Or maybe I didn’t think I deserved all of the joy and love I felt.” She looked up at her sister again from her perch. “I’m not exactly sure, but I can tell you this: I was afraid.”
“Afraid?” she asked. “Afraid of what, do you think?”
“Happiness, disappointment, making a mistake? I’m not sure.”
“Yes, that makes sense,” Brianna said bending down and picking up a piece of straw. “I think fear has something to do with the way I feel.” She stared off toward the orchard, then said, “But I never thought it might be fear of happiness. That’s a weird concept.”
“What does Bud say about all this?” Savannah asked.
Brianna’s closed her eyes for a moment. Then she looked up, tore the straw in two, and dropped both pieces. “He’s pretty upset.”
“So what have you told him?”
“That I may want to date other people before I settle down.”
“Oh noooo, Bri. You’ll break his heart.”
“What about my heart?” she snapped.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…”
“Savannah, I have to be true to myself. I don’t even know if I’d be happy living on a farm.” She grimaced and glanced off in the distance. “I’ve never lived on a farm. I’m a city girl.”
“Maybe Bud would move with you to the city,” Savannah suggested.
“Yeah, he said that, but would he be happy?” She reached out and ran a swatch of Savannah’s hair through her hand; something she used to do as a child when she needed comforting. “Is there a happy medium for the two of us?”
Savannah sat staring down at her mud boots. Finally she looked up and said quietly, “If you have doubts, Sis, now is the time to look at them, that’s for sure. But it seems as though you and Bud have a lot going for you as a couple. You’ve really enjoyed a lot of time together this past year, haven’t you?”
Brianna smiled. “Yes, we’ve had some good times. He’s super thoughtful and attentive. He’s smart and fun. Cripes, he saved my life once. He’s my hero—great lover, kind…only…”
“Only what? You’ve just described every woman’s dream man,” Savannah said laughing.
“Only am I ready to settle down?” she whined, slumping her shoulders, dropping her head.
Savannah thought for a few moments. Finally, she said, “Do you have to make that decision now?”
“Bud’s ready to make it. He’s pressuring me.”
“Well, how about this? Let me have Michael talk to Bud—maybe see if he can get him to cool his heels and give you the space to decide when you’re ready…or not.”
Brianna let out a breath. “Oh, that would be great. I think that’s the answer, Sis. Space—that’s what I need. But I’d like Bud to be in that space with me…while I try to sort things out in my mind. Yes!” she said, pumping the air with one arm. “Let’s see if Michael can convey the message I don’t seem to be able to convey to Bud.”
“Sometimes it takes someone outside the relationship—a guy (or gal) buddy,” Savannah said.
Brianna
“We must be made from the same mold,” she said.
“Stop talking in riddles. What are you saying?”
Savannah glanced over at Michael, lowered her voice a little, and said, “Don’t you remember when I was struggling with the same dilemma—should I commit to Michael or not? Am I ready—am I even capable of a meaningful relationship? Oh, Michael was ready. He knew what he wanted. But I was so confused.” Savannah became more reticent—introspective. And then she looked into her sister’s brown eyes. “I almost ruined my life, Bri. I had what I always wanted right in the palm of my hand and I almost let it go. I almost walked away.”
Brianna’s face softened. “Why do you think that was?” she asked.
Savannah thought about it for a moment and then said, “I wasn’t able to trust myself.” She cocked her head and looked off into the distance. “Or maybe I didn’t think I deserved all of the joy and love I felt.” She looked up at her sister again from her perch. “I’m not exactly sure, but I can tell you this: I was afraid.”
“Afraid?” she asked. “Afraid of what, do you think?”
“Happiness, disappointment, making a mistake? I’m not sure.”
“Yes, that makes sense,” Brianna said bending down and picking up a piece of straw. “I think fear has something to do with the way I feel.” She stared off toward the orchard, then said, “But I never thought it might be fear of happiness. That’s a weird concept.”
“What does Bud say about all this?” Savannah asked.
Brianna’s closed her eyes for a moment. Then she looked up, tore the straw in two, and dropped both pieces. “He’s pretty upset.”
“So what have you told him?”
“That I may want to date other people before I settle down.”
“Oh noooo, Bri. You’ll break his heart.”
“What about my heart?” she snapped.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…”
“Savannah, I have to be true to myself. I don’t even know if I’d be happy living on a farm.” She grimaced and glanced off in the distance. “I’ve never lived on a farm. I’m a city girl.”
“Maybe Bud would move with you to the city,” Savannah suggested.
“Yeah, he said that, but would he be happy?” She reached out and ran a swatch of Savannah’s hair through her hand; something she used to do as a child when she needed comforting. “Is there a happy medium for the two of us?”
Savannah sat staring down at her mud boots. Finally she looked up and said quietly, “If you have doubts, Sis, now is the time to look at them, that’s for sure. But it seems as though you and Bud have a lot going for you as a couple. You’ve really enjoyed a lot of time together this past year, haven’t you?”
Brianna smiled. “Yes, we’ve had some good times. He’s super thoughtful and attentive. He’s smart and fun. Cripes, he saved my life once. He’s my hero—great lover, kind…only…”
“Only what? You’ve just described every woman’s dream man,” Savannah said laughing.
“Only am I ready to settle down?” she whined, slumping her shoulders, dropping her head.
Savannah thought for a few moments. Finally, she said, “Do you have to make that decision now?”
“Bud’s ready to make it. He’s pressuring me.”
“Well, how about this? Let me have Michael talk to Bud—maybe see if he can get him to cool his heels and give you the space to decide when you’re ready…or not.”
Brianna let out a breath. “Oh, that would be great. I think that’s the answer, Sis. Space—that’s what I need. But I’d like Bud to be in that space with me…while I try to sort things out in my mind. Yes!” she said, pumping the air with one arm. “Let’s see if Michael can convey the message I don’t seem to be able to convey to Bud.”
“Sometimes it takes someone outside the relationship—a guy (or gal) buddy,” Savannah said.
Brianna
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