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current entanglement. “But I was afraid a girl like you would mistake sex for love. That happens.”
“That sounds like the kind of jackass advice a fraternity brother would give. Did Greg tell you that?”
“Greg?” he said, genuinely surprised, then a little wary. “No. What makes you think anyone told me that?”
“A college guy giving up guaranteed sex without someone talking him out of it?”
Good point. This was getting uncomfortably close to a truth he didn’t want to talk about. Fortunately, Kiara moved on.
“Tell me,” she said, running her fingers through his hair, “does it ever happen that a guy like you might mistake love for sex?”
It was an uncomfortable question, because it touched a warm, comfortable place in his heart. “Maybe it does,” he allowed. Then he hedged, “Sometimes.”
“Sometimes is more often than never.”
She said it, not tentatively or shy, but as a solid truth she was offering him, if he wanted to take it. “Love” was such a big word. Like “home” and “family” and “forever.”
“It would be impolitic of me to say ‘never,’” he finally said, because he had to say something. And it might not have been the absolutely right thing to say, but at least it was right enough to make her chuckle and snuggle close, laying one arm across his heart.
Whose heart was he protecting now? He’d put down his roots in this city. She only had a yearlong contract with the symphony, and then she’d be off to a bigger city with a better known orchestra. This time, she was the one with an expiration date on a relationship, and he had just as much on the line as she did.
That was a lie. He’d had a lot at stake then, too. Telling himself he was doing the right thing for her was a way to convince himself he wasn’t backing off for his own sake. He was about to graduate and head off to God knows what adventure. When he’d first started going out with her, he knew that she knew that. But then her best friend Sophie had cornered him one day.
Being cornered by Sophie Russell, or so he’d heard from his fraternity brothers, wasn’t always a bad thing. Alex, from the moment he’d seen her waiting to ambush him at his favorite coffee shop, knew he was in nothing but trouble. Sophie had two more years on Greek Row under her belt, so to speak, and she was doubtless where Kiara had gotten her exaggerated ideas about his conquests. But what had started as the cliché “If you hurt my friend I’ll kill you” conversation had ended with Sophie pointing out that Kiara had come from a place where girls routinely married their first loves.
Even though he knew Kiara had other plans, other cello-shaped plans, it put her emotions in a new perspective. Plus, Sophie was Kiara’s closest friend in Port Calypso. Even if he thought that was the oddest match up ever, why shouldn’t he believe her when she said that continuing their relationship, taking it to the next level, would devastate the small town girl? He’d let himself be persuaded that breaking up with her right away would be the kindest thing to do.
Kiara was right. That was some seriously jackass advice. And he’d grabbed at it because he’d been a serious jackass. And a big chicken.
Which was fine when you’re twenty-one and about to graduate from college and go backpacking across Europe and whatever, jackass . But what’s your excuse now?
There weren’t so many differences between them now. She’d traveled, he’d traveled. She was emotionally and sexually confident. They both realized she was leaving in a year.
But only he seemed to be lying awake, scared shitless, because if he felt this way about her now , how much more would it hurt to lose her again later ?
Was it something I said?
Kiara could feel the tension in his chest, imagined she could hear the whirling of his thoughts. She was tempted to offer to leave, except her car was back at the rehearsal hall and she didn’t want to walk home with
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