Read Online Our Kingdom of Dust by Leonard Kinsey - Free Book Online

Snow White,” I said.
    He chuckled and shook his head. “Look, stick around for a bit and I’ll take you down to the Utilidors. Lisa’s shift ends in a few minutes. We can grab a snack at the employee cafeteria while she gets out of costume and takes her makeup off.”
    “Seriously?”
    “Yeah, seriously. I have free reign of this place, and mi casa es su casa. I’m also having a bunch of people over for dinner tonight who I think you’d be interested in meeting.”
    “Um, yeah, sure, absolutely, I’d be honored!” I stammered. “Sorry I was talking like that about your girlfriend.”
    “Don’t apologize. You’re right, she is extraordinarily hot, and I have no idea how I snagged her. I’m not an idiot, Blaine.” He turned and stared at Lisa as she kissed a little girl on the cheek, leaving a lipstick mark. “She’s way out of my league.”
    “Dude,” I said, watching all of the kids’ dads drooling over her, “she’s way out of everyone’s league. You must have some serious mojo… or a monstrously huge dick.”
    He looked down at his crotch and back up at me. “It’s gotta be mojo,” he said.
    We both burst out laughing and walked away from the crowd.
     

Chapter 9
     
    The Utilidors are a series of huge tunnels underneath The Magic Kingdom where all the behind-the-scenes real world stuff takes place. Or, to be more specific, The Magic Kingdom was built on top of the Utilidors. They’re actually at ground level, and the park is the “second floor”, so to speak. They house Costuming, trash collecting, an employee bank, various kitchens for the restaurants above, employee break rooms, and two cafeterias. But perhaps more importantly, they’re a way for employees to get from one part of the park to another without having to roam around in front of the Guests. It wouldn’t look very good for a Cast Member dressed in Frontierland chaps to be walking across Tomorrowland in order to get to the employee parking lot. “Bad show”, as they say. Instead, the Cast Member just hops into one of the myriad of hidden Utilidor entrances within the park, goes down one flight, changes into civvies, and walks through the tunnels to the exit that leads to the parking lot. These inner-workings are invisible to Guests so that the “magic” theming of the park is never disturbed.
    Jay and I entered the Utilidors through a door on the northwest side of Cinderella Castle. He opened the unmarked and unremarkable door and we both stepped inside to a harshly lit dirty room filled with strollers.
    “What a shithole,” I said.
    “I agree. Apparently the cleaning crew doesn’t maintain this area.”
    We went down a full flight of steps and reached another door, next to which was posted an asbestos warning.
    “Asbestos?” I asked, surprised that Disney would allow such a thing to exist in their wonderland.
    “They treat their employees, er, Cast Members, a lot differently than they treat their Guests. I guess they’re not going to do anything about the asbestos down here, and they figure a warning will suffice, at least legally.”
    “That’s not cool.”
    “No, it’s not. But they’re a giant corporation, and they can get away with that sort of nonsense. I’m sure Lisa will be more than happy to tell you all sorts of horror stories about how the Cast Members are mistreated.”
    We walked down a small hallway which opened into a massive tunnel. It was filled with pipes, speeding golf carts, costumed characters, and plain-clothed off-duty Cast Members. There was peculiar mix of somewhat Disney-themed 80s hits blaring through the overhead speakers. Mainstreet by Bob Seger was playing as we entered the cavernous Utilidors.
    “It smells disgusting down here, Jay,” I said, wrinkling my nose.
    “That’s the trash collection,” he said. “All of the trash from all of the trashcans in the park comes down here through a series of vacuum tubes.” He pointed up at the pipes. “This time of year it’s not