Read Online Origins of a D-List Supervillain by Jim Bernheimer - Free Book Online

inches tall that landed on the rim of the seat. I watched as he made the tiny construct bow and perform a series of basic martial arts moves. After a minute, he was bored and made it do a bunch of tricks that would normally be associated with a dog. Finally, tiring of his toy, Kenneth made it jump up to the top of the commode and do a forward two and a half somersault dive into the bowl.
    “How do you make it do the tricks?” I asked as he stood and sent his little performer into the swirling beyond.
    “Oh, they can only do what I’m capable of. I have to learn how to do something before my mossions can do it.”
    “So you can do that dive?”
    “Had dreams of going to the Olympics and representing my country at one point,” he replied. “I was hiding my powers, but they came out during competition testing and I was disqualified. I’m also a black belt in Judo. After I was outed, and my good name dragged through the mud, it was either the life of a rogue, or beg my father to let me manage his plumbing shop.”
    “So, what’s the biggest thing you ever made?”
    “Made an elephant once. It was a ruddy nightmare to control, and gave me a splitting headache. I usually stick with gorillas when I need pure muscle, dogs when I need numbers and human shapes when I need them to operate anything from an auto to a machine gun. Minions my good chap, or in my case mossions. Why risk your neck when you can get something to do it for you? Sadly, it didn’t help me avoid this place. Three years in this hole is going to have me talking like a Yank before I’m out.”
    “Mossions instead of minions? I would’ve gone with FunGuys, but that’s me. Who got you?” I inquired.
    “I was in New York, conducting some business, when I ran afoul of the Guardian team based there. My beasts stood little chance against Bolt Action or that little waif, Wendy. Oh, to be laid low by a teenaged girl! It was a most unfortunate turn of events.”
    Kenneth was a bit of a drama queen, albeit, one with a decidedly nasty streak. Sure he had a classy air about him, but he was still a thug, who reminded me of the main character in A Clockwork Orange .
    “I took some Tae Kwon Do, if you wouldn’t mind showing me a few things.” I left out the part where I took it to impress a girl I was tutoring in high school. Long story short, she wasn’t, and I abandoned it soon after.
    “I was going to try and teach a class, like you do, but they already turned me down,” he said. “Something about not teaching anything violent to the rest of you bloody fools. They offered to let me teach yoga or Pilates.”
    “You can teach those?” I asked.
    “Certainly, but to do it to a class of only men seems a bit odd; but I can show you some of the basics of Judo. That said, it will cost you.”
    “I can’t offer much more than pressing your coveralls.”
    “You fancy yourself a master of gadgetry, yes?”
    “Well, yeah,” I replied, wondering where he was going with this.
    “When I fought against the Guardians, I found myself at a distinct disadvantage. If my mossions were better equipped, I might have been able to make good my escape.”
    “That stands to reason,” I added.
    “Indubitably,” he stated. “In return for my assistance now, I would like a future consideration.”
    We haggled over the price and what he might theoretically want before agreeing that I’d do the work at cost, but he’d have to provide all the materials, and he’d have to give me a couple of contacts on the outside. Future favors were often bandied around as currency, because chances were that they’d never have to be carried out.
    When our bargain concluded, he said, “I have the only name a gadgetman such as yourself, needs to know—her name is Victoria Wheymeyer and she can usually be found in Las Vegas.”
    “What’s so special about her?”
    “She’s a broker. She acquires weapons, people, and whatever else is required for one or perhaps several of the heavy