responsibility for the reaction of my peers. I tried to absorb the teasing and attacks, but this wasnât always the best thing to do. I just bottled everything up until the inevitable explosion came. This was something the children at primary school were familiar with. I was timid most of the time, but capable of being one of the strongest children physically, if I had a paddy (a fit of anger); this was how one or two children described my explosions of temper, leading to them call me âPaddy Potts.â
My biggest problem was thinking that admitting I was in the wrong, or being seen as being in the wrong, was a direct attack on me. I argued with the children who were teasing me, often reacting first and asking questions later. My house teacher, Mr. Pullin, took me aside and suggested I deal with it in a different way. He told me to ignore the situation; that it would go away if I did.
Once again, this was the mantra from the teachers and my parents. I tried very hard to follow their suggestions but was not always successful. Iâd take it for so long, and then blow my top. I can see now how this was entertaining for those round me, especially those who were pushing my buttons. But at the time it was very difficult for me to deal with. I wanted to be liked, but I realized at the very start of my time at Redcliffe that it was very unlikely to happen.
* Â Â Â * Â Â Â *
Physical education should have been one of the best classes for me. I was one of the fastest runners in school, so I was picked to represent the school at cross-country running, a skill I kept up into my twenties. I would later represent my city and county at cross-country events round the country.
Games afternoons took place on Brislington Schoolâs playing fields. We would make our way on the coach to Brislington, an area on the edge of Bristol, and get changed into our red-and-black rugby tops and striped socks. We would start with a cross-country run that was generally completely flat, and then have a twenty-minute rugby match. Rugby was the schoolâs main sport for boys; hockey was the main sport for girls.
I enjoyed the running and was always one of the first five to finish, but I hated the rugby. All through school it was a license to a beating. Whenever the ball was thrown at me, I would catch it and suddenly have eighteen boys piling on me in what was meant to be a ruck (huddle) of players attempting to get hold of the ball; it was actually a circle with me in the middle being repeatedly punched in the stomach, the ball having long been dropped on the ground. This was a regular occurrence throughout the first few years at Redcliffe, and I dreaded the games. I always hoped the rugby pitches (fields) would be waterlogged, meaning we would do a longer cross-country run instead.
I also hated the communal parts of sport such as changing and showering, as this was when the bullying was worst. With no adult supervision, the gang mentality was at its strongest. I would try to wait until the other boys had showered before having mine, and this was sometimes possible because PE was a double period before our break. Yet I was often pushed headfirst into theshower, completely naked, and kicked as everyone had a good laugh at my expense.
This happened so often that I got used to it. Sometimes it was âjustâ name calling. But sometimes I got a kicking. Sometimes a tie-flicking, often towards the groin, which as you can imagine was very painful. The tie would be flicked so hard that there was an audible âcrackâ as the tie flicked back. The worst thing was that the changing rooms didnât have a corner for me to hide in. I was exposed in more ways than one.
It was at the end of one the afternoon games sessions that I made my first real friend at Redcliffe. As usual, I didnât want to shower with the rest of the boys, so I waited to be the last in. As a result, when I got to the car park the coaches had
My biggest problem was thinking that admitting I was in the wrong, or being seen as being in the wrong, was a direct attack on me. I argued with the children who were teasing me, often reacting first and asking questions later. My house teacher, Mr. Pullin, took me aside and suggested I deal with it in a different way. He told me to ignore the situation; that it would go away if I did.
Once again, this was the mantra from the teachers and my parents. I tried very hard to follow their suggestions but was not always successful. Iâd take it for so long, and then blow my top. I can see now how this was entertaining for those round me, especially those who were pushing my buttons. But at the time it was very difficult for me to deal with. I wanted to be liked, but I realized at the very start of my time at Redcliffe that it was very unlikely to happen.
* Â Â Â * Â Â Â *
Physical education should have been one of the best classes for me. I was one of the fastest runners in school, so I was picked to represent the school at cross-country running, a skill I kept up into my twenties. I would later represent my city and county at cross-country events round the country.
Games afternoons took place on Brislington Schoolâs playing fields. We would make our way on the coach to Brislington, an area on the edge of Bristol, and get changed into our red-and-black rugby tops and striped socks. We would start with a cross-country run that was generally completely flat, and then have a twenty-minute rugby match. Rugby was the schoolâs main sport for boys; hockey was the main sport for girls.
I enjoyed the running and was always one of the first five to finish, but I hated the rugby. All through school it was a license to a beating. Whenever the ball was thrown at me, I would catch it and suddenly have eighteen boys piling on me in what was meant to be a ruck (huddle) of players attempting to get hold of the ball; it was actually a circle with me in the middle being repeatedly punched in the stomach, the ball having long been dropped on the ground. This was a regular occurrence throughout the first few years at Redcliffe, and I dreaded the games. I always hoped the rugby pitches (fields) would be waterlogged, meaning we would do a longer cross-country run instead.
I also hated the communal parts of sport such as changing and showering, as this was when the bullying was worst. With no adult supervision, the gang mentality was at its strongest. I would try to wait until the other boys had showered before having mine, and this was sometimes possible because PE was a double period before our break. Yet I was often pushed headfirst into theshower, completely naked, and kicked as everyone had a good laugh at my expense.
This happened so often that I got used to it. Sometimes it was âjustâ name calling. But sometimes I got a kicking. Sometimes a tie-flicking, often towards the groin, which as you can imagine was very painful. The tie would be flicked so hard that there was an audible âcrackâ as the tie flicked back. The worst thing was that the changing rooms didnât have a corner for me to hide in. I was exposed in more ways than one.
It was at the end of one the afternoon games sessions that I made my first real friend at Redcliffe. As usual, I didnât want to shower with the rest of the boys, so I waited to be the last in. As a result, when I got to the car park the coaches had
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