Read Online On a Scale from Idiot to Complete Jerk by Alison Hughes - Free Book Online Page A

teachers (this list has been edited—heavily edited) and
    ii) rate the behaviors on the Jerk-O-Meter from 1 to 10 (1 being normal, 10 being complete jerk);
    (b) paid the focus group in fruit gummies and assorted snacks; and
    (c) came up with the project’s first scientific table to display the results.
    Scientific Illustration #8:
Rating Annoying Teacher Behavior
    Teachers have, in the last fifty or so years, been prevented by
various laws from being the kind of jerks your parents’ teachers
might have been. Most of them don’t scream a lot anymore or try
to deliberately humiliate kids. Even so, there still seems to be a lot
of room for idiocy and jerkishness in the classroom.
TEACHER BEHAVIOR
RATING
REASON
Deliberately calling on a kid
who’s staring down at his
desk and not making eye
contact at all.

Staring down at your desk,
the universal kid symbol
for “please leave me alone/I
don’t know/I don’t want to
answer” should be respected.
Making the “last one in” do
ten push-ups in gym class.

Teachers never factor in
distance here. It’s always
assumed that you’re just slacking,
rather than, say, playing
goal at the far end of the field
like I was last gym class.
Making everyone do laps
even if only one person
misbehaves.

Running senseless laps is
even more stupid than pushups.
This punishment is
unfair and tends to lead to a
lot of group anger against
the misbehaver. Which,
come to think of it, might
be the point.
Thinking that running laps
around the school is an appropriate,
character-building
punishment.

Laps have nothing to do with
character. This is entering
total idiot territory.
Forcing us to do an entire
“dance” unit and getting mad
when junior high boys (and
most of the girls) both dread
it and suck at it.

You tell me when we’ll ever
really need to “Bollywood
dance” and I’ll smile through
it.
Bragging about the awards
or championships they won
when they were our age
(twenty or thirty years ago).

Bragging on its own is just
idiotic. If accompanied by
pelting volleyball spike-serves
at us, it moves into jerkdom.
There is no place on the
scale to show that this is
also pathetic.
Making the entire class stay
after school because one kid
threw a snowball.

One kid. One snowball.
Do the math.
Assigning extra homework in
a snitty voice because of the
snowball incident.

Bonus move up the scale
for taking the whole incident
up a notch. What does
homework have to do with
snowballs, anyway?
Using student slang (e.g.,
Teacher: “That is so fresh!
YOLO!”)

Believe me, this does not
help kids relate to the teacher
at all. It just gives them
material for LOL-ing at them
behind their backs.
Using heavy sarcasm (e.g.,
Teacher: “Yeah, you guys are
really going to be ready for
high school.”)

We understand, so you don’t
have to be mean about it. And
the sarcasm isn’t preparing us
for anything either.
Playing their lame music in
class and getting mad when
kids complain about its
lameness.

This is low-grade idiot
behavior, but we’re a captive
audience, and that makes us
angry.
Using obvious bluffs (e.g.,
Teacher: “If this class doesn’t
settle down, you will all fail
health class!”)

Nobody fails Health.
Being either way too
uncomfortable or way too
comfortable with the body
stuff in Health.

The rating will depend on
our degree of comfort or
discomfort. It’s a fine line,
that’s for sure.
Dancing at school dances
(or dancing at school ever).

Not really on the scale, but
the focus group agreed that
nobody wants to see this.
    2) Principals
    Our principal has often mentioned how the word principal includes the word pal . Yep, just think of him or her as a good buddy who knows all your marks, talks with your teachers and parents and could expel you.
    I found our principal to be an elusive and difficult subject for research. He tended to be:
    (a) in very boring meetings;
    (b) in his office