Read Online Off to Be the Wizard by Scott Meyer - Free Book Online Page A

Gert. People stopped eventually though. As they say, ‘Res ipsa loquitur.’ Latin, that is. Means ‘The thing speaks for itself.’ By the way, people also used to call Gert the thing . Anyway, Gert eats and drinks for free here at The Rotted Stump.”
    The innkeeper explained, “One day, Gert comes in here and announces, much like you did, that she wants food and a bed. And like you, Gert has powers. Far less mysterious powers than you claim, but powers nonetheless. Where Gert’s approach differed from yours is that she just went ahead and demonstrated her power. She demonstrated her power on that table.” The innkeeper pointed at a heavy oak table that had been broken in half, then crudely braced and nailed back together. “Then she threatens to continue demonstrating until I give her what she wants. It’s in my interest to keep Gert happy by feeding her. It’s in Gert’s interest to keep me happy by not causing me trouble, and not letting anyone else cause me trouble. Do you mean to cause trouble, young wizard?”
    “No,” Martin said, still looking up at the face of Gert, “I won’t cause trouble. But I can show you something you’ve never seen, something that will amaze. That’s gotta be worth dinner and a bed.”
    The innkeeper smiled. “If you can show me something that will persuade me to give you free food and a bed that isn’t you smashing an oak table with one blow, I will indeed be amazed.”
    The customers were laughing openly now. Gert went back to her seat. The innkeeper stood aside. Everyone was watching Martin to see what he’d do next.
    “Good people!” Martin declared, surreptitiously reaching his left hand into his pocket. “Customers of The Rotted Stump, Mark this moment well, for one day you will gather your grandchildren ‘round and tell them of the day the great wizard Martin the Magnificent showed you … cloth you can see through!”
    He produced the evidence bag from his pocket with a flourish, holding it above his head with both hands. All laughter stopped. The customers slowly approached Martin and the plastic bag. They had never seen anything like it. He lowered it so they could get a good look.
    “I’ll hand it to you, lad,” the innkeeper said, examining the plastic as Martin held it tight. “That is something.”
    An old man poked at the bag with the end of his pipe, watching it deform under pressure. “Will it hold off water?
    “Yes,” Martin said. “It lets light through, but it keeps water out!”
    The innkeeper gave Martin a searching look. “Can you make more?”
    “Yes!” Martin said. “I can!”
    “I’ll tell you what. If you’ll make more of this, say a few square yards, you’ll have a place to sleep tonight.”
    “You’ll trade room and board for the see-through fabric?”
    “No. but I’ll lend you a stick and you can make a tent.”
    A slightly raised voice called out from the door. “Hello, Pete, I’m told I may be of some assistance.”
    All eyes turned to the door. There stood a man ofaverage height and slightly heavy build. He had a neatly trimmed beard, keen eyes, and the bearing of a man who knew exactly what he was doing. He wore a flowing powder-blue robe with flared sleeves, which was by far the cleanest garment in the building. He was wearing a pointed hat that matched the robe perfectly. He held a polished wood staff. At the top of the staff, just above head height, there was a curved bottle full of some thick, red fluid, stopped with a cork. The bottle was lashed to the staff with twine.
    “Aye, Phillip. Thanks for coming,” the innkeeper said, smiling. “I believe an introduction is in order. Lad, Phillip here is a powerful wizard and friend of the house, the house being me. Phillip, this lad claims to be a powerful wizard, and suggests that I should give him dinner and bed.”
    Phillip the wizard bowed. “Always a pleasure to meet another practitioner of the unknowable arts! You have the advantage of me. I am Phillip.