Read Online Obnoxious Librarian from Hades by Dennie Heye - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Dennie Heye
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indexing and "forgetting" about certain system passwords. Unfortunately I was in off site meetings every afternoon where my cell phone did not work. But hey, life should not be too easy for the ambitious vendors…
On Friday afternoon they proudly showed their setup to a group of managers. Since our Hades managers have no clue what our library and records management systems do, they were simply amazed by all the shiny buttons, creative use of fonts and stylish logos. They admitted not to have a 100% match with all the user requirements, but management stated that our end users would certainly be willing to give us certain key requirements in exchange for nice shiny buttons and customizable font type (which is of course a very critical feature).
After the presentation, all eyes were on me for the final verdict. Would I give the thumbs up or down?
"Mmmmm… your presentation is… . interesting."
"Thank you, we look forward to working closely with you to set up an extended proof of concept."
"But… there is just one small thing that is very essential and a must have requirement… are your applications compatible with hardware to print punch cards?"
"No, of course not - you must be joking! We noticed you put that in the requirements, but we realized that this is a joke!"
"Well, as you should know - Hades Corporation has a very important government contract with the republic of Elbonia. And as records management experts, you will surely know that Elbonia requires all their business records to be delivered in punch cards.
We must be compliant with these government rules, so I am afraid I cannot vote for your systems."
"But… but… "
"Sorry, I wish I could continue our discussion, but my phone just vibrated and I must leave now to check on our MARC Z39.50 filter."
The one where we become a status symbol
It is Friday evening, 10 PM and I am back in the library where I haven't been for a week. I have put "Mess of blues" of the late Jeff Healey on the sound system and walk around the library, happy to be back between the books, bound journals and humming servers. It has been a roller coaster week… .
Exactly a week ago I was ready to leave for a long weekend when the phone rang. The extension that showed up was "CEO office", which seemed strange to me. Being at the bottom end of the food chain, I was rarely called by the powers that be in the plush offices. Curiously, I picked up the phone.
"Yeah, library here - make it quick - I need to be home on time to watch the documentary about the unknown, yet crucial role of the Dewey classification in the underground secret information sharing during WWII."
"Mr. Librarian. This is Gil R. Moralious speaking, I am chairing the committee to select a new CEO for Hades Corp, as you may know."
"Gil, that's great - you are considering me for the job, I assume?"
"No, Mr. Librarian. Unfortunately that is not the case. I am however calling you regarding a promotion which I am sure you would be interested in. I just looked at your career so far in Hades Corp, and found out that in all your years with our exciting company you have always worked in the same role, in the
same low level job group."
"Well, Gil, this "exciting" company really does not have a career path for librarians - but of course I am more motivated by challenging projects, stimulating intellectual peer groups and the utter fulfillment of working for Hades."
"Then you are the right person for the new job that just opened today, which will offer a unique career perspective in a challenging top level environment where you will constantly encounter paradigm shifts. You will be the strategic information enabler, facilitating top executive knowledge interchanges."
"Ok, Gil, let's cut the crap - what is this all about?"
"Mr. Librarian, we have identified the ideal candidate for the future of Hades. In utmost confidence I am revealing to you that we are about to appoint Prof. Dr. Joyce Fedizko MBA BWG III Jr as our new
On Friday afternoon they proudly showed their setup to a group of managers. Since our Hades managers have no clue what our library and records management systems do, they were simply amazed by all the shiny buttons, creative use of fonts and stylish logos. They admitted not to have a 100% match with all the user requirements, but management stated that our end users would certainly be willing to give us certain key requirements in exchange for nice shiny buttons and customizable font type (which is of course a very critical feature).
After the presentation, all eyes were on me for the final verdict. Would I give the thumbs up or down?
"Mmmmm… your presentation is… . interesting."
"Thank you, we look forward to working closely with you to set up an extended proof of concept."
"But… there is just one small thing that is very essential and a must have requirement… are your applications compatible with hardware to print punch cards?"
"No, of course not - you must be joking! We noticed you put that in the requirements, but we realized that this is a joke!"
"Well, as you should know - Hades Corporation has a very important government contract with the republic of Elbonia. And as records management experts, you will surely know that Elbonia requires all their business records to be delivered in punch cards.
We must be compliant with these government rules, so I am afraid I cannot vote for your systems."
"But… but… "
"Sorry, I wish I could continue our discussion, but my phone just vibrated and I must leave now to check on our MARC Z39.50 filter."
The one where we become a status symbol
It is Friday evening, 10 PM and I am back in the library where I haven't been for a week. I have put "Mess of blues" of the late Jeff Healey on the sound system and walk around the library, happy to be back between the books, bound journals and humming servers. It has been a roller coaster week… .
Exactly a week ago I was ready to leave for a long weekend when the phone rang. The extension that showed up was "CEO office", which seemed strange to me. Being at the bottom end of the food chain, I was rarely called by the powers that be in the plush offices. Curiously, I picked up the phone.
"Yeah, library here - make it quick - I need to be home on time to watch the documentary about the unknown, yet crucial role of the Dewey classification in the underground secret information sharing during WWII."
"Mr. Librarian. This is Gil R. Moralious speaking, I am chairing the committee to select a new CEO for Hades Corp, as you may know."
"Gil, that's great - you are considering me for the job, I assume?"
"No, Mr. Librarian. Unfortunately that is not the case. I am however calling you regarding a promotion which I am sure you would be interested in. I just looked at your career so far in Hades Corp, and found out that in all your years with our exciting company you have always worked in the same role, in the
same low level job group."
"Well, Gil, this "exciting" company really does not have a career path for librarians - but of course I am more motivated by challenging projects, stimulating intellectual peer groups and the utter fulfillment of working for Hades."
"Then you are the right person for the new job that just opened today, which will offer a unique career perspective in a challenging top level environment where you will constantly encounter paradigm shifts. You will be the strategic information enabler, facilitating top executive knowledge interchanges."
"Ok, Gil, let's cut the crap - what is this all about?"
"Mr. Librarian, we have identified the ideal candidate for the future of Hades. In utmost confidence I am revealing to you that we are about to appoint Prof. Dr. Joyce Fedizko MBA BWG III Jr as our new
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