saying, “Yo, Bambi, what are you drinking?” and you freeze up.
THIS is the new Cro Mag attitude?
THIS is the openmindedness?
Then it’s as if Marco’s reading your mind, because he starts laughing and says, “Yo, guy, just a joke, all right?” — and as he walks toward you, he is weaving, as if the house were a ship of stormy seas.
You try to laugh along. You watch Marco flick his cigarette ashes into a coffee cup at the edge of the piano top — only it’s NOT a normal coffee cup, because you remember the collection it came from, the BONE CHINA collection that Mr. and Mrs. Adams used to brag about. And you notice that this expensive bone china cup is full of a liquid that definitely NOT coffee, definitely STRONGER than coffee — and you realize that Jay will be in the DOGHOUSE if the cup
breaks. So you pick it up, ashes and all, in front of Marco, and he laughs and says, “Oh, sorry to mess up your drink, har har!” so you pretend to laugh too, and you head toward the kitchen.
On the way, you pass by guys you don’t know very well, guys you don’t WANT to know, and a couple of guys you’ve never seen before.
Quickly you wash out the cup, dry it, and put it back in the china closet. And from behind you, someone reaches in and grabs a delicate little glass thimble from Mrs. Adams’s [sic] collection, and she ALWAYS used to talk about how valuable THAT is too, so you grab it back, and you realize you’ve just taken something from Mad Moose Machover.
You have never been face-to-face with Mad Moose. You have never wanted to be. And now that you are, you see your life pass before your eyes.
He accuses you of stealing his “shot glass.” You explain, “That’s Mrs. Adams’s [sic] thimble,”
and immediately you cringe because the worse sound so dorky, and sure enough, Mad Moose thunders, “SO WHAT, SWEETHEART?” and repeats his clever joke to everyone around him,
and now you’re standing there, with everyone laughing at you, and it’s even WORSE THAN
SCHOOL because there’s no place to run to, and you realize that Jay is a total rotten betraying creep for inviting you here, and that you NEVER should have even THOUGHT of coming, and you look around again for Alex so you can SPLIT.
And then, out of nowhere, Jay appears. He puts his arm around you and tells Mad Moose, “If you’re going to insult my friend, you’re out of here” — and Bud’s with him too, backing him up.
My heroes.
Anyway, Mad Moose mumbles something and walks away. You’re happy to escape with your
life.
Meanwhile, you’re looking around for Alex again and he’s NOWHERE, and Jay is
ANNOUNCING stuff to Bud — ol’ Duckmeister and I were like bros, we did EVERYTHING
together, like the time we broke the basement window yada yada yada …
And then, like a shot, Jay is off chasing Sam, who is heading out the back door with a large, expensive-looking liquor bottle.
You and Bud follow. The coolness of the night air feels great. The quietness does too, except that Jay’s over by the garage, yelling at Sam for stealing his dad’s scotch.
Another group of guys is sitting on the blacktop below the basketball hoop-and you notice that THEY have bottles too. And Jay starts yelling at them, but they’re saying, hey, take it easy, we BROUGHT these, and it’s only BEER, and besides, we’re not IN your house, are we?
That’s when you spot Alex again. He’s alone, lurking in the shadows near the house.
You call his name, but he just walks inside without answering you.
You run in after him. You search the house. He’s nowhere. Vanished.
You duck out the front. You see someone far down the street, walking away. You can’t tell for sure that it’s Alex, but you guess it is. You figure he’s doing the smart thing, leaving.
Which YOU should do too, but you can’t, because your car is wedged in by a double-parked Jeep Cherokee.
So you go inside to find out whose car it is, but you’re too chicken to ask around,
THIS is the new Cro Mag attitude?
THIS is the openmindedness?
Then it’s as if Marco’s reading your mind, because he starts laughing and says, “Yo, guy, just a joke, all right?” — and as he walks toward you, he is weaving, as if the house were a ship of stormy seas.
You try to laugh along. You watch Marco flick his cigarette ashes into a coffee cup at the edge of the piano top — only it’s NOT a normal coffee cup, because you remember the collection it came from, the BONE CHINA collection that Mr. and Mrs. Adams used to brag about. And you notice that this expensive bone china cup is full of a liquid that definitely NOT coffee, definitely STRONGER than coffee — and you realize that Jay will be in the DOGHOUSE if the cup
breaks. So you pick it up, ashes and all, in front of Marco, and he laughs and says, “Oh, sorry to mess up your drink, har har!” so you pretend to laugh too, and you head toward the kitchen.
On the way, you pass by guys you don’t know very well, guys you don’t WANT to know, and a couple of guys you’ve never seen before.
Quickly you wash out the cup, dry it, and put it back in the china closet. And from behind you, someone reaches in and grabs a delicate little glass thimble from Mrs. Adams’s [sic] collection, and she ALWAYS used to talk about how valuable THAT is too, so you grab it back, and you realize you’ve just taken something from Mad Moose Machover.
You have never been face-to-face with Mad Moose. You have never wanted to be. And now that you are, you see your life pass before your eyes.
He accuses you of stealing his “shot glass.” You explain, “That’s Mrs. Adams’s [sic] thimble,”
and immediately you cringe because the worse sound so dorky, and sure enough, Mad Moose thunders, “SO WHAT, SWEETHEART?” and repeats his clever joke to everyone around him,
and now you’re standing there, with everyone laughing at you, and it’s even WORSE THAN
SCHOOL because there’s no place to run to, and you realize that Jay is a total rotten betraying creep for inviting you here, and that you NEVER should have even THOUGHT of coming, and you look around again for Alex so you can SPLIT.
And then, out of nowhere, Jay appears. He puts his arm around you and tells Mad Moose, “If you’re going to insult my friend, you’re out of here” — and Bud’s with him too, backing him up.
My heroes.
Anyway, Mad Moose mumbles something and walks away. You’re happy to escape with your
life.
Meanwhile, you’re looking around for Alex again and he’s NOWHERE, and Jay is
ANNOUNCING stuff to Bud — ol’ Duckmeister and I were like bros, we did EVERYTHING
together, like the time we broke the basement window yada yada yada …
And then, like a shot, Jay is off chasing Sam, who is heading out the back door with a large, expensive-looking liquor bottle.
You and Bud follow. The coolness of the night air feels great. The quietness does too, except that Jay’s over by the garage, yelling at Sam for stealing his dad’s scotch.
Another group of guys is sitting on the blacktop below the basketball hoop-and you notice that THEY have bottles too. And Jay starts yelling at them, but they’re saying, hey, take it easy, we BROUGHT these, and it’s only BEER, and besides, we’re not IN your house, are we?
That’s when you spot Alex again. He’s alone, lurking in the shadows near the house.
You call his name, but he just walks inside without answering you.
You run in after him. You search the house. He’s nowhere. Vanished.
You duck out the front. You see someone far down the street, walking away. You can’t tell for sure that it’s Alex, but you guess it is. You figure he’s doing the smart thing, leaving.
Which YOU should do too, but you can’t, because your car is wedged in by a double-parked Jeep Cherokee.
So you go inside to find out whose car it is, but you’re too chicken to ask around,
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